Besides swapping venereal diseases and any last traces of dignity, Britney Spears and Criss Angel were also sharing a lollipop at the opening of LAX. But there’s more to this sucker than meets the eye. (No, it’s not a Transformer. Put your pants back on.) Extra reports:
The sucker Britney was sharing is more than just a sweet treat: it’s a diet secret. Insiders tell us she recently received a shipment of Hoodia lollipops, which suppress the appetite and supply an energy boost.
In the fifth grade I had to give a report about sugar. Then about a week ago, I mixed Jagermeister with Red Bull and suddenly I was five hours into the future – without pants! So, to answer your question, yes, I am a real scientist. Anyway, if you eat nothing but sugar, you will lose weight. You will also go into diabetic shock and probably die. I want to say I’m going somewhere with this, but in retrospect nothing but good can come from this scenario. Carry on, Britney.
JEff | September 6, 2007 at 4:21 pm
What a sucker. HAH
Meisterburger | September 6, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Is that what she looks like when she sucks cock? What a turn-off.
Pikachelsea | September 6, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Haha, why is she always eating those stupid lollipops? What a moron.
katie | September 6, 2007 at 4:27 pm
#1…..funny
does she actually think being thin is gonna help her case.
yay im skinny!!!!…now all i have to get is real hair, talent, dignity, a personality, and a brain…almost there ya”ll…
Donkey | September 6, 2007 at 4:29 pm
Plus… she has really awesome hair.
. | September 6, 2007 at 4:32 pm
looks rather like a blowpop
Cowgirl still in the race | September 6, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Hoodia think is funny? Fish that who! LMFAO!
havoc | September 6, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Its an oral thang…….
.
Karissa | September 6, 2007 at 4:35 pm
I’ve also heard these lollipops are spiked with drugs similar to oxycotin… neither thing suprises me.
Frick! | September 6, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Thats so disgusting. There always some picture of her sucking on a lollipop, and there’s been many times where they show her sharing it with whatever guy she’s with at the moment. Ick. Why is this girl always sucking on lollipops and holding hands with people?! Is she 5 years old?! And anytime she opens her mouth to speak you can hear for yourself how stupid she is…and I think she knows it too. Thats why she always tries to avoid being interviewed or saying anything. Even at that LAX event and that New years eve event she got paid to host, she apparently just says like one lame ass sentence then ducks out of the limelight…unless their taking her picture. She’s just a stupid girl that only knows how to act like a little hussy. Grow up bitch.
wedgeone | September 6, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Ranks right up there with the “special brownies” and the “colored sugar cubes”.
Someone ought to ship her Pixy Sticks enhanced with ginkgo bilboa so that she regains her mental sharpness.
Spanktronic | September 6, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Wow she looks great. can’t wait for that “performance” on MTV. Go to Dlisted and read what the executive producer of the MVA’s had to say about Shitney. Then try and guess how much crack he smoked before he said it.
gogo | September 6, 2007 at 4:39 pm
SHE’S A MANIACAL GENIUS!!!!!!
adeliza | September 6, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Aw, come on now, she’s just practicing giving head.
I suggest that if she wants to really practice, she needs to get a WAY bigger lollipop!!!!!
Clem | September 6, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Be alright when all her teeth fall out won’t it. Silly cow.
Maybe stop eating hamburgers for breakfast, lunch and dinner and exercise your fat arse you has been!
BaldAsBritney | September 6, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Wieght loss lollipops eh? guess what pig, they ain’t workin
Getalife | September 6, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Don’t you think that half the reason these young actresses or singers have these problems is because of jack ass people that have nothing better to do than harp on their every move. Lighten up on them, and maybe it won’t fuck with their minds! She’s so far beyond fucked because people won’t shut the fuck up.
Texas Tranny | September 6, 2007 at 4:46 pm
Practice makes perfect.
Practice,practice, practice.
whatsername | September 6, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Sad…
Todd | September 6, 2007 at 4:52 pm
It’s amazing how one train wreck can provide enough content for an entire site.
Riotboy | September 6, 2007 at 4:59 pm
This story SUCKS!!!
FRIST!!! | September 6, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Nice manicure Brit. I think it’s called a “meth” icure
Texas Tranny | September 6, 2007 at 5:03 pm
FRIST
OMFG your right, those look whoreable.
SHallow Val | September 6, 2007 at 5:09 pm
AT LEAST SHE’S (sorry I was shouting) wearing a decent outfit.
Texas Tranny | September 6, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Hey Val,
Maybe someone pick it out for her.
steve | September 6, 2007 at 5:11 pm
spoilers: it’s morphine
FRIST!!! | September 6, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Tranny, that’s great…”whoreable”!!
hahahahaha
Jimbo | September 6, 2007 at 5:19 pm
FRIST – No pizza? I have been sitting waiting for my slice!!! And you liked that comment about my mom this morning?? It was pretty sick, but I thought it would shut the troll up
SorryToSay | September 6, 2007 at 5:29 pm
I think there’s a pretty good chance that Brit believes that one of her “problem areas” needing weight loss is her behind, so guess where else she puts the lollipops?
You got it. Right up the ol’ Hershey Highway, sticks ‘n’ all.
Meanwhile, I have no doubt that her sons’ “nannies” have been giving these spiked pops to her kids to shut ‘em up while the Mexican soaps are on. This explains why Jayden is skinny, twitchy and keeps rubbing his nose, and why Sean keeps trying to snort his Enfamil.
FRIST!!! | September 6, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Sorry, I had pizza yesterday…but I saved you some vodka :)
That was funny, but you know I’m in a pissy mood lately what with the insomnia and death jokes are fucking RAD!!!!!
FRIST!!! | September 6, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Did that make any fucking sense at all?
Fuck it, who cares.
adeliza | September 6, 2007 at 5:37 pm
#12
I went on Dlisted, and read the quote. What an ass!
Any way, that being said, I scrolled down.
MAN! Who is Gordon Ramsay?
I guess he burned his nuts cooking. I wouldn’t eat at his restaurant; I’m assuming he’s a chef.
Geezzz…
Jbo | September 6, 2007 at 5:40 pm
I called it a long time ago… However, Brit-brit – they AREN’T working – I actually think you are getting fatter…
I think you’re only supposed to eat one or two a day, not 10 or 20 a day!
liz | September 6, 2007 at 5:43 pm
she has no make up on. she looks ordinary.
UglyPeopleSafaris | September 6, 2007 at 5:44 pm
As I glanced at the title, I thought it said, “Britney Spears Dies”….
Once I realized how retarded I was bc I read it wrong, I cried. Not bc I was retarded, only bc shes still alive.
veggi | September 6, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Picture 5 makes me feel happy. Ol’ wonka wonka eye look! haha!
Frick! | September 6, 2007 at 5:47 pm
35…okay, you just totally cracked me up, thank you ;)
Jimbo | September 6, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Is ther at least an olive in the vodka? I haven’t freaking ate all day. At least save me a swallow!
I am sure my mom would not like the death jokes, but what is she going to do about it now!!!
Is it time to go home yet????
veggi | September 6, 2007 at 5:51 pm
I want the next britney story to be about how Brit microwaves chicken. with tinfoil. and forks.
and how she sticks a lolipop in it so the chicken wont make her fat.
D | September 6, 2007 at 5:52 pm
I heard they were spiked with opiates as well….
ubee0173 | September 6, 2007 at 5:56 pm
that’ll do, pig. that’ll do.
veggi | September 6, 2007 at 6:00 pm
There’s 3 types of people in this world ya’ll. Those that can count and those that can’t.
see ya later ya fuckers!
I’m going home to watch the entire season of The Office!!!!! Wheeeeeeeee!
MarketingWiz | September 6, 2007 at 6:04 pm
Judging by all of Britney’s documented visits to McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Carl’s Jr. and all the other fast-food joints serving up ‘badonka-butt,” it seems that those Hoodia Lollipops don’t work worth a damn.
none | September 6, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Okay, Britney needs to go somewhere that’s NOT LA and where she’s NOT going to be photographed. She’s just making herself look bad. I do think that people should ease-up on her, but I also think she should spend a month or two getting in shape and AWAY from the paparazzi.
FRIST!!! | September 6, 2007 at 6:25 pm
#40 don’t tease me like that…
Jimbo, I always use 3 almond stuffed olives in my martinis, you can have 32 of them. I’m feeling fat I should go on a diet…who gots a sucker?
Jimbo | September 6, 2007 at 6:29 pm
FRIST – I kind of have a taste for some Canadian Bacon. Talk to you tomorrow, I am out of here!!!!
30Notes | September 6, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Guess that answers the question on whether Hoodia works or not. Scratching that off my list of things to buy. She’s still a tubalo. And what the hell is spilled all over her? She’s a disgusting mess.
Staci | September 6, 2007 at 7:00 pm
Wow! It’s really nice to see Britney wearing pants for once.
Lancome | September 6, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Yeah, totally ignore the bursting pustules on her temple in pic 2 then , and the multi-colored hair O_o
liizbeth.. babyy!! | September 6, 2007 at 7:04 pm
EWW… ii tiink brittney iis so ages ago?!.. lol does she have 2 do watever other ppl do?.. ii am soo over her && her DRAMMA like seriously britt.. get a liife.. k?