Britney Spears’ legal stuff, crotch together at last!

This post has everything: For those of you who love your Britney Spears update, I’ve got the latest on her custody battle. For those of you who love her vagina, hey, there she is up top going commando. I’m here for all your needs. Let’s get crackin’. Britney Spears is no longer represented by Trope & Trope and is now the client of high-powered celeb divorce lawyer Stacy Phillips. As Stacy’s first order of business today she botched Britney’s chance to see her kids. Fantastic! TMZ reports:

The lawyers couldn’t agree amongst themselves — so Brit will not get visitation with Sean Preston and Jayden James.
It’s ironic, we know K-Daddy wants Brit to have visitation and the lawyers came to court today trying to accommodate that, but it didn’t happen.

That’s some impressive shit considering today TMZ reported that Kevin Federline wants Britney to have visitation with the kids. He apparently can’t handle having them 24/7:

We’re told K-Fed has no prob allowing the kids to visit Brit at her home, with one string attached – that Brit’s parents are present during the visits.
We hear K-Fed isn’t worried that anything bad would happen to the kids, his biggest concern is that Britney might drive with them, but Jamie would be there to put the kibosh on that.

My sources, possibly imaginary, tell me that Britney’s new lawyer refused to budge on having her client wear underwear around the children. Kevin’s lawyers were specific with their demands that “the boys not return home looking like goddamn Two-Face from Batman.” Britney’s lawyer conceded that acid vadge is a concern, but could not promise the wearing of undergarments. The two sides will convene later today and hopefully reach an agreement that effectively protects the children and, also, Britney’s right to damage their vision.