Britney Spears’ label Jive Records issued a press release stating their support for Britney during her personal troubles. Here’s what they said, as reported by Us Magazine:
“Jive is enormously excited about Britney’s new album, and we’re confident that it will secure her reputation as one of the great recording artists of her time. As Britney’s label, it’s not our place to comment on her personal issues, but we do care about her and support her. There’s no question that when performers attain the level of celebrity that Britney has, they tend to be treated by the press and public as if they were cartoon or soap-opera characters, and we forget that they’re actually human beings. People say that’s the trade-off you make for success in the entertainment industry – that if you want to make it big, you have to surrender your privacy or the ability to lead a normal life. But sometimes you make that bargain before you realize what it entails. Britney’s a grown woman who makes her own choices, and we respect that. But she faces challenges that most of us can’t really imagine.”
So screw your family, all that matters is being rich and famous. I’m reading you loud and clear, Jive. Go capitalism! Poor Benjamin Franklin must be rolling in his grave right now. He’s also probably thinking to himself: “What’s all this tomfoolery about that fine, young tart’s increased plumpness? I’d frolic her bottom end henceforth in a jovial fashion for an entire fortnight!” You didn’t know Franklin was a chubby chaser? I’m actually not making this one up. So maybe one time I said Abe Lincoln punched a Martian. No one’s been able to prove that he didn’t, so I stand by my theory. But the Ben Franklin and fat chicks thing; totally true. See, I can be educational.
kj | October 5, 2007 at 10:50 am
first
kj | October 5, 2007 at 10:52 am
siihb
Cuntyface | October 5, 2007 at 10:54 am
Third. Britney Spears’ pussy is made of chump.
lizl | October 5, 2007 at 10:57 am
4th ;o)
Anyway, fuck that cunt, she`s not apporoptiate for life on this planet. Unsophisticated slut.
Founding Father | October 5, 2007 at 10:59 am
Fish you’re too funny. I loved the history lesson. Putting Ben Franklin in a Brittney story, that’s great. You’re back on your game. I hope Brittney reads this. The only other person she knows from that time is Dolly Madison because she’s probably stuffing a snack cake in her face right now.
zenmaster | October 5, 2007 at 10:59 am
you know thats shes brainwashed right? and you all are aswell. its just a matter of time before this girl kills herself. i can’t wait for that. its all good, there’s always her sister.
Oeuf | October 5, 2007 at 11:03 am
Making fun of Brittney isn’t fun any more, she’s just too sad.
katie | October 5, 2007 at 11:05 am
omg, that was soo funny!
flavio | October 5, 2007 at 11:06 am
Britney Spears is a useless piece of shit, and “Jive” records are schlock-merchants who don’t understand that they don’t really have a product anymore now that Spears is too old to give the impression that she’s an underage girl begging her male audience to “hit me baby one more time”. That’s why her sales keep going down, down, down. Aside from the fact that she has not taste, abilities, skills, or sense of artistry, of course. She doesn’t write songs, compose music, or choreograph. All she ever had to do was show up where she was told and do what she was told on set. Now she can’t even do that. I hope she bankrupts Jive with legal feels and liabilities. Idiots deserve each other.
Mdiz | October 5, 2007 at 11:08 am
Big girls need lovin too.Not that brit is big… But Benny was on to something..
Ooooh that driver! | October 5, 2007 at 11:09 am
OMG! Look at that awesome limo driver, the one behind that girl and her doggy!!!
havoc | October 5, 2007 at 11:10 am
The sad thing is that they actually believe their own bullshit…..
They should call themselves Jive Ass/No Class Records a subsidiary of Dickbreath Corp.
.
race80 | October 5, 2007 at 11:13 am
Holy shit that was funny! I needed that this morning. That was the best post I have seen on here in a long time! Tomfoolery…classic!
Marcellina | October 5, 2007 at 11:13 am
“”Jive” records are schlock-merchants who don’t understand that they don’t really have a product anymore”
Billboard says #1 single on digital, #3 overall. Yeah, Jive doesn’t understand what sells. Moron.
Jumpin_J | October 5, 2007 at 11:14 am
So you can be a complete self-destructive dumb-ass, and your company will put in a ton of money to say you’re the best thing evah. She should be singing like Cartman with Tourette’s Syndrome, “I got a golden ticket”. Jive, sign me! I can’t sing and I’m a fat ass too!
* Miss Universe | October 5, 2007 at 11:15 am
They are right. It is her creativity and sense of adventure that has made her reach a level of stardom few have ever seen in history.
there have been millions of stars around the world. why so some get to be at the top of the media’s interest and the public’s constant fascination?
Only a handful ever get to that point and stay for a while…..why?????????????/
ME | October 5, 2007 at 11:16 am
the video is on perezhilton.com…. if she could only lose that stubborn 10 or 15 pounds…. then she would be better to look at.
PunkA | October 5, 2007 at 11:22 am
Britney is succesful in spite of herself, not because of her creativity. She is the trainwreck superstar. If she was all that creative, she’d have it together like Madonna on know how to package herself. She has no clue, but the fascination of seeing her look terrible each day and make even worse choices it what keeps her in the headlines.
breetai3 | October 5, 2007 at 11:24 am
How confident of them to support Britney AFTER her single has sold millions. What a truly brave, loyal company :P
Pith | October 5, 2007 at 11:28 am
Wrong wrong wrong. Britney’s musical success is continuing despite her enormous changes (for example, she’s FAT) in public image. Her “music” has some type of formula that makes a certain demographic love it, even though she’s human trash, just like black folks can’t get enough KFC. Jive knows that Britney reaches white teen girls’ inner KFC nigga.
FakePeopleSuck | October 5, 2007 at 11:32 am
Ohhhhh I agree #17!!!
And I must add that like Madonna they are both “entertainers” not necessarily talent but, Madonna was smart enough to market herself wisely and that is why she has decades of success.
Britney is a nasally idiot, I don’t think that she is fat by all means BUT when you are at the status that she is it is a point of obligation to be in the best physical shape.
Mentally well she is a lost cause, I think that she way beyond self destruction now.
my god... it's full of idiots | October 5, 2007 at 11:32 am
“…one of the great recording artists of her time” Seriously? Bitch can’t even sing her songs live. I’d love to hear her sit down with an acoustic guitar player & make it through a single song.
What you hear on Britney’s CDs is the result of studio effects & “sweetening”. There’s a very simple reason you’ll never see Britney do an “unplugged” performance: bitch has no talent.
JAMES | October 5, 2007 at 11:33 am
i think her target demographic is gay men.
SHE USED TO | October 5, 2007 at 11:35 am
go to youtube and try to find some clip of britney singing, i found one of her singing and it was kind of ok.
she had big pipes when she was a kid, she was in a broadway musical.
i think she can sing a little bit.
FakePeopleSuck | October 5, 2007 at 11:35 am
Pith your attempt was wit was a flop. Give it up!!!! That was so random it made no sense!!!!
Dawn | October 5, 2007 at 11:37 am
Britneys single gimme more just went to #3 on the billboard hot 100, so obviously shes doing something right to get all these hits year after year,alot of people love to bash her music but according to the charts alot more peole liek her music then willing to admit,shes just got to get her life together she has alot more going on for her with her music then the average artist. Although her personal life is a train wreck, you gota have some respect for the girl for the numerous hits shes produced.
Pith | October 5, 2007 at 11:37 am
#24 don’t blame me for your intellectual limitations.
Nik | October 5, 2007 at 11:41 am
I don’t know if it’s already been said, but the only thing left for her to do is convert to Scientology. She’s done everything else already.
#27 | October 5, 2007 at 11:43 am
i think you meant #25
britney’s crazy!!!
Ferocious_Imbecile | October 5, 2007 at 11:45 am
Crystal meth is a terrible drug.
:(
PrettyOnceButNot Now | October 5, 2007 at 11:45 am
Britney’s claim to fame was her body. Before her babies she had a body fine enough to make grown men cry. Britney never could sing any better than anybody having an unihibited moment. She couldn’t dance either. She could gyrate though. So when you coupled wiggling with her fine body you had her money maker. Saying she was a singer is the lie (she’s a lip-syncher) people tell themselves because they won’t admit they want to be hypnotized watching young Brit’s fine butt shake. Her body is over without surgery. Ask Demi Moore. Brit ain’t 18 and a 25 year old mom of two can never go back. It’s over Britney take the money and run.
Buffalo Mozzarella | October 5, 2007 at 11:52 am
Wtf? She’s released a single? Has she? Has she really? Really has she? Really? Has she?
ACTUALLY | October 5, 2007 at 11:54 am
i always liked her face ( when washed of course ). AND her body
she COULD get it back.
she was thinner than this right when she filed for divorve, and when she came back from rehab.
she eats crap
she could eat healthy food instead
her skin still looks tight
demi moore had had 3 children when she did Striptease
celebrity moms CAN get their bodies back.
O. bin L. | October 5, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Her music sucked before and it sucks now. The only difference is that now, a big fat drug-addicted slutpig is hovering around in the video, like one of the visual effects at a Pink Floyd concert. But still she’s at the top of the pop charts. There’s only one conclusion to draw: young American girls are total retards. In the words of another of your American cultural achievements (Milli Vanilli), girl you know it’s true.
LL | October 5, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Celebrities are human beings? I had no idea. Thank Jebus Jive Records is here to give us all the 411 (or whatever the kids are calling it now). And what are the challenges Britney has that the rest of us can’t imagine? Walking in a straight line? Going through one day without being wasted? Keeping our clothes on and actually working for a living instead of gyrating like a lap dancer? Taking care of our kids? Poor Britney, she’s had to endure so much, one day they’ll make a movie about her, like “Coal Miner’s Daughter.” We’ll get to see a reenactment of her two wedding nights. Can’t wait for that.
Also, the fact that Britney’s record/song has sold to several million chumps (out of a population of 300 million in the US) is not really a ringing endorsement of her talent, just a function of the fact that millions of people have more money than brains. Nothing I didn’t already know.
Ooba Gooba | October 5, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Dawn, #26: PLEASE learn spelling and punctuation.
Thank you.
celebretard | October 5, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Britney is horrible. Her video horrific, most of it is blurred for a reason. http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/10/05/britneys-gimme-more-video-more-of-a-biopic/
London | October 5, 2007 at 12:07 pm
just to clarify,
milli vanilli were lip synching, but the track they were lip synching over was sung by two different men… i think that was the scandal
a lot of people lip synch.
steve | October 5, 2007 at 12:07 pm
hey ky, oops, I mean kj: You don’t have to say “first”. We already know what grade you and your mom are in.
no1justminda | October 5, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Puh! They just wanna get paid. Ass kissers.
Andie | October 5, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Poor little rich girl.
steve | October 5, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Jive and Marcellina suck. Dogs. For nickels. And give 3 cents change.
Truth | October 5, 2007 at 12:10 pm
I’m surprised. I expected a total flop, like her VMA performance. To release a single that sells that well is impressive, given the total wreck that she’s become. I can say this because unlike you people, I’m not so consumed with bitterness that I have to deny the reality of accomplishments by people I don’t like.
D. Richards | October 5, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Now I realize why they named their company “Jive”: the label actually said that Britney’s new album (trash) will “secure her reputation as one of the greatest recording stars of her time.” Now that’s some jive-ass shit. Ridiculous. I could record platnum selling records if I happened to have other people making all of the decisions for me. And if I sacrificed artistic integrity for something much less, say, maybe, “Hit me baby one more time”, or, “Lucky”. Who are these slobs? Fuck you, Jive. Rich fucks.
Marcellina | October 5, 2007 at 12:13 pm
steve’s keyboard always smells like a five year old boy’s ass. Cmon, steve, at least wash your hands afterwards.
Annie Rexia | October 5, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Hey 6. What if she takes the sister with her? the Mom too! That would be SO AWSOME! Murder/suicide Brit! Murder/suicide! Can’t wait for you to go tits up hon!
Dick Richards | October 5, 2007 at 12:15 pm
One more thing. Dawn, #26, you’re a fucking moron. I hope you know this. Britney’s “music”? Are you shitting me? You’ve got to be retarded. Are you? Retarded? The fact that the “charts” show great sells says more about people like you, than it does about Spears’ shitty songs.
Hecubus | October 5, 2007 at 12:23 pm
If ‘the greatest recording artist of our times’ is someone who doesn’t write, play on or (thanks to studio technology) really sing on any of her songs then we’re completely fucked as a species.
Oh and I’m soooo fucking sick of that ‘she’s dealing with things you’ll never know’ bullshit. What ? Like raising 2 kids with only the help of 50 mexican maids and 5 professional nannies ? Of being photographed everytime she goes out to paparazzi hotspot clubs ? All this fat fucking filthy looking tramp is living with is her own spoiled attitude and lack of self control. Give me millions upon millions of dollars for wobbling around on a stage for a few minutes every six months while a shitty backing track plays and I promise you I’ll be able to ‘cope’.
Ur crying Im laffin | October 5, 2007 at 12:25 pm
LMAO! Man, most of these comments are hilarious! I can almost see the bitter tears welling up in the eyes of the commenters. Hahahaha!!! What tiny people you are!
yes, you are an idiot. | October 5, 2007 at 12:27 pm
#22…. read slower next time… “she’s one of the great RECORDING artists of her time”
and she still sucks, even with studio effects.