Britney Spears & Kevin Federline settle custody case (Which means absolutely jackshit)

July 18th, 2008 // 26 Comments

Lawyers for Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have reached a settlement in their custody battle. Britney agreed to allowing Kevin full custody of the boys while keeping her visitation intact. More visitation will be granted towards the end of the year, according to TMZ:

The settlement is a huge development because next month’s trial is now kaput. We’re told Brit, grandpa Jamie and K-Fed all wanted to avoid the expense, emotional wear and tear and media frenzy connected with a full-blown trial.

So, hurray! No more batshit court cases, right? Guess again. That’s like saying I’m not made of sexy neutrons. People reports:

“Until the kids turn 18, we can expect in years to come that Britney and Kevin will be back in court,” says L.A. family lawyer Lynn Soodik, who is not involved with the case. “Britney will have a better chance of winning more custody once she regains her health. This is just the end of Round One.”

Round One? Round ONE!? Jesus, this feels like Round One Million. I could lead a long, productive life never hearing about another Britney Spears court case again. Okay, that’s not true. I’ll lead a short, drunk existence that will ultimately end with someone yelling “Hey, you’re not the pilot!” But you guys get the point.


  1. hidethe-cutlery

    So nothing changed then?

  2. numbers


  3. acne

    Anyone notice that she has like a permanent zit right by her mouth? Every picture I see that zit is right there its like she is giving a bucket of lard a blow job…

  4. grobpilot

    Close to the top. I have no life.

  5. havoc

    This has gone from just interesting to just sad…..


  6. A

    It does feel like round one million, Fish. I’m sure they’ll be back in court soon enough.

  7. Biff

    Gee, what an insight from “L.A. family lawyer Lynn Soodik” – you mean to tell me Britney’s not in the best bargaining position while being declared incompetent to manage her own financial assets???? Really??? Because I would have thought that was a major strength for her to play up during the settlement proceedings, along with her ability to stain every single piece of clothing she owns.

  8. veggi

    I’m glad this phase is settled, for the sake of the two little retards. And also for the children.

  9. rough daddy

    youd think shed squeeze out those yellow puss, thats in those huge pimples, by her chin before she go out….

  10. #7 – lol, no doubt. I always love it when they get some other “expert” to chime in with their 2 cents worth. Of course, like most attorneys, Lynn Soodik is simply retarded.

  11. A

    Hey acne – I agree…what’s with that zit? It’s always there on her ugly face.

  12. havoc

    I find Kevin attractive. But I would bathe in Britneys piss.


  13. retard alert

    Nice dress grandma.

  14. Omnibacon

    Britney has kids?

  15. 2for2true

    The fact 14 people commented on this story thus far goes to prove it must be summer vacation time for the local cosmetology schools.


  16. B

    Britney has nice legs. They’re not all bony and shit like a lot of women out there. They look great.

  17. and your name sucks too

    You read the comments and wrote one yourself, moron.

  18. pete

    Britney’s body is a million times better than Claire Danes, which isn’t saying much (unless you’re one of those commenters with the pedo fantasies).

  19. kenny

    Britney, sit on my face I wanna tounge fuck your puss. damn you so fine.

  20. Kate

    I hate that pin-straight hair look. It makes her face look even rounder. She needs to tease shit or something to give it some volume.

  21. A

    Pete, I agree…Brit’s body is way better than Claire Danes. Claire’s just way too thin. When your knees are bony and your spine is protruding, that’s just gross.

  22. …………….MAY I SHIT ON HER FACE, please?

  23. ___________________________________

    What a disgrace. That stupid bitch never really wanted those kids in the first place. Now watch her go pop out a couple more with that dune coon…er…Adnan.

    She should be forcefully sterilized.

  24. Kim Lardassian

    Next time heifer hips wants to get s bit of media attention this will be resurrected definitely.

  25. jay wye

    Short, squat, thick, ugly, hideous ears, saggy lopsided boobs, dumb. Not much left to say.

  26. booyah!

    Hey, I actually own that dress she’s wearing!! eeeww…. I used to love it… now i wonder if it looks trailer trash?!

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