Britney Spears: It’s like she’s Rocky, but with a vagina!

September 11th, 2008 // 47 Comments

Britney Spears is making a comeback, folks. She’s stronger than yesterday. Her loneliness ain’t killing her no more. And I’m now going to shoot myself for quoting that song. While I load the gun, check out the latest from OK! Magazine on her climb back to the top after getting her ass pumped full of sunshine at the VMAs:

On her mom’s book:
“Regardless of what people might think, Britney isn’t upset about the book,” an insider tells OK!. “After a tough last year, Brit and Lynne have a wonderful relationship again.”

On fighting for her kids:
“Her goal is to regain joint custody of her sons as soon as her dad Jamie’s status as her conservator ends,” a Spears insider tells OK!.

On planning a “traditional” birthday party:
She is organizing a joint affair for her sons to celebrate Jayden’s second birthday on Sept. 12 and Preston’s third birthday on Sept. 14, with the help of her father.
“I want to have a traditional party,” she told OK!. “I have some friends with kids who I am going to invite.”

Wow! Britney’s inviting children to a children’s party? I’m actually impressed. Especially since last year she invited a pack of stray dogs and Michael Jackson. Also, the cake was coconut. BARF!


  1. ph7

    Back to whoring her life away.

    What a mess.

  2. Bore, a clean up Britney is certainly not entertaining!!! when is this court order/baby sit by her father going to expire?

  3. taylor

    Her music was really the wicked, and I hope she’s getting her shit together right this time. If not for the sake of her career, for the sake of her kids.

  4. jaysdesk

    as soon as daddy’s not looking – she’s going to get really high – She can’t wait.

  5. amanda

    She looks great! I am so excited for this comeback to keep going!

  6. Didn’t you have to have “talent” at some point in order to then have a “come back”?

  7. havoc

    Trailer park trainwreck.

    She can join the growing army of fat, hillbilly moms who carry nothing but their Marlboros, lighter and cell phone.


  8. Kate

    Wow, she took a shower and combed her hair, and had her people pay MTV to shoot smoke up her ass. COMEBACK!!


  9. Huh?

    I think her Dad had her gagged in a closet for a couple of years and was running arround in a britney costume ruining her life, so that he could take her money and his wife could write a book.

  10. mimi

    Dear A-Hole Britney haters…


    Hey God… thanks for answering Britney’s prayers and mine!

  11. taylor

    New Nose eh???

  12. Kate

    Get a life, mimi. She doesn’t know you nor does she care. She’s not your friend.

  13. mimi

    Dear A-Hole KATE,

    I actually HAVE met Britney you brainless dirt-bag.

    GO pray for guidance.

  14. jaysdesk

    mimi called kate an a-hole. settle down now girls…

  15. literarycritic

    @#13: OMG YOU *MET* BRITNEY?! I guess you’re not crazy for believing that your religious crusade on her behalf has been successful, then!

    Quick question: Would she recognize you by name if you ever met her again?

  16. God

    mimi – I just talked to Britney and she confirmed that you two are bffs and she is praying for you as well.

  17. i think

    she looks really pretty

  18. ishi-san

    WHY do ‘they’ want Britney to come back so much??????!!!!! She was a made teen-star without talent and nobody really wants to hear her anymore……

  19. ishi-san

    I wonder how much the record company had to pay MTV to give Britney all these awards!! I find it a disgrace that MTV apparently is in such a need of money that they ruin a nice show to become a corrupt event to advertise the long-lost products of the music industry! On the other hand… probably always was like this, just this time they exaggerated –
    To make people believe that Britney actually deserved these prices (given she never got one before when she was young, pretty and in a good shape) is an insult to the intellect of everyone who watch the show!!! According to me you can therefore hardly call this a COMEBACK!!!

  20. Racer X

    #19 you are made of WIN.


  21. spindoc

    So basically she has so little going on in her life that planning her kids birthday parties is a big story to chat about with a national magazine. Wow, what a vacant hole.

  22. minerva

    @13: HAHAHAHA, you actually met Britney and what… what else happened?? Please tell me, I want to know… Did you guys make plans to hang out later, maybe go shopping… Seriously hun, DO get a life…
    And why would anyone pray for guidance to like Britney? I think you have the whole concept wrong and you should look for spiritual/psychological help…

  23. Jezebel

    The Six Degrees on this cover are hilarious.

    Brit dated JT…so did Cameron. Jennifer Aniston dated Paul Whatshisnuts and now Cameron is dating him.

    Anyone else spot that?

  24. Boston_Freek

    #10 Hey Mimi, shut the fuck up. Does your mom know you’re skipping school today?

    Eighth graders think they’re so funny. Giggle!

  25. Randal

    OK Magazine is just getting it now? Hello! Randal has been saying that Britney’s climb was already in motion months ago, said right here, on the FISH!

    In fact, there’s not much of a climb for her to do considering she’s still very talented, she can still sing and has gotten back into form to return to those deadly dancing moves.

    Britney will sweep the rug out from everyone if they don’t pay attention to Randal. Look out world, Britney’s not back … bitches.

    The bitch never left.


  26. nice guy

    wow she looks so gorgeous and sweet and pretty. I know I know, she’s “wearing a lot of makeup ” or whatever, but not every girl would look as pretty and cute with that same makeup up.
    She does look nice.

  27. pat

    This is the 3rd OK cover for Britney in something like 6 weeks.
    Maybe they should change their name to Britney Spears Fan Club magazine.

  28. ishi-san

    @20: I am made of WIN??? uhm…. ok thanks???

  29. Alicat

    She cleans up well, fair enough. But physical appearance says nothing of mental health so, I guess we’ll have to wait and see with this one.

  30. me

    my penis is happy again.

  31. Spicey Italian

    good looking girl

  32. mimi

    Please everyone help me to pray for Amy next, it worked for Britney!

  33. Jethro

    Let’s all grieve the useless death of many trees in the publication of this magazine.

  34. literarycritic

    @#32: I wrote a haiku for you. I hope you like it.

    “Dearest mimikins,
    You are so delusional.
    STFU, plz.”

  35. Boston_Freek

    #34 LMFAO

  36. Anon

    Doesn’t (thankfully) the kids dad have full custody?

    She wont be planning anything for the birthday other than transport to his for the party he’s arranged for them.

    Or am i to believe that its the non-custodial parent that has the kids on their birthday?
    Looks like she did the interview behind papas back and as soon as daddys out of the picture batshit britneys back.

  37. Oooooooh A Britney comeback….Then we’ll surely get more of this:

    Uhm….no thanks….She makes Yoko sound like Celene Dion.

  38. IWONKY

    All I can see is her daddy took the pink wig, her money, hopefully burned the boots and the magazine photo is retouched, her hair grew out enough to cover the weave and she’s on some kind of meds that keep her from opening her mouth and making a complete ass of herself.

    Stupid, ex-fake-British-talkin’, Winehouse-crazy trailer trash.

    Easier to look at though. Maybe she is getting it together now.

  39. lilygirl

    Seriously does it not freak people out that that’s not even her hair?? I will never forget bald britney…sigh.

    And mimi you really have issues honey, you might want to consult a therapist or something..really.

  40. lilygirl

    Seriously does it not freak people out that that’s not even her hair?? I will never forget bald britney…sigh.

    And mimi you really have issues honey, you might want to consult a therapist or something..really.

  41. temp

    she looks gorgeous. i really hope she cleans her act up this time and comes back. :)

  42. Melvin

    Forget the lovely, beautiful and absoloutely-NOT-trailertrash-short-armed-no-talent Ms Spears; Did you see that quote on the cover? Justin is “ready to marry Jessica”! Why, thank you ever so much, mister Limberdick! You are a true American hero. The truck with the medals is on it’s way!


    Which reminds me: how come every third post on this site is 40 views of that KardASSian mutant monstrosity, while Jessica Biel is nowhere to be seen? What the hell, Superficial?

  43. Randal

    Eva, I am so jealous of your beautiful body. If you are fat, then I would be a wet, hairy, obese man. Which I really am.
    Your beautiful body is an inspiration for us struggling to keep our weight down. My gay lovers are already telling me to get myself fit so I can perform better in the bedroom. Still, I have second thoughts. I need to keep my man-boobs for the enjoyment of rough daddy. You love to suckle on them, don’t you?


  44. whitebear

    jennifer aniston looks like a bloke
    britney spears looks like an idiot
    if you think taking a shower and not flashing everyone is a comeback you’re idiots as well

  45. SaraBeth

    why is everybody getting all crazy hatin on Brit? If you hate her so much, stop reading about her and making rude comments.
    I saw pix of the party she threw for the boys and it looks like it was great! Is The Superficial gonna show those? Anyway, I wanna know who she hired to do the party so when I get rich (haha) I can call them to do MY parties too!
    Does anyone know?

  46. CareBear

    I met someone who actually was at this party and they said it was amazing. Someone from Britney’s camp said thanks to the party goddess the party was great. Not sure if she was talking about Lynn or someone else like a party planner. I agree that i dont think Britney did the party by herself. Anyway, supposedly the boys had a lot of fun and everyone else did too.

  47. Smartass (KiSS)

    *Sigh* [rolls eyes] SaraBreath, you must be Newround’ere. No one gives a fuck about anything you said. You’re like, spambotworthy.

    Thank you and Goodnight.

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