Britney Spears isn’t even fazed that she lost her kids

October 2nd, 2007 // 175 Comments
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So you’ve just lost your kids because the legal community pretty much agrees that you’re a terrible mother, what do you do? Go tanning, silly! And that’s exactly what Britney Spears did. The Daily Mail reports:

It was business as usual for troubled Britney and the first stop on the singer’s agenda – after surrendering her boys Sean Preston, two, and one-year-old Jayden James to their father Kevin’s bodyguard – was a visit to Epitome, her favourite Bel Air tanning salon. Afterwards she checked in to the Peninsula Hotel. But, as she made her way inside, two photographers got into a fight – which seemed to amuse the giggling singer no end.

But it wasn’t all fake-baking and giggles. Britney finally hit up the DMV to get her Louisiana license transferred to California:

Then, Britney paid a visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles office in Van Nuys, California, where she finally applied for a driving licence and took a written test.
Last Friday, Commissioner Gordon banned both Spears and Federline from driving the children unless they had a valid California driver’s licence. But on the weekend, Britney was allegedly seen driving her two children around LA without a valid licence.

Some mothers might, I dunno, be a bit shocked and furious that their kids are being taken away. Not Britney. The day before all this, she probably sat at home, surrounded by Whoppers, thinking aloud “Wow, I hope that Kevin Federline gets those kids away from that awful girl.” Then someone would point out to Britney that she is that awful girl. She’d look kind of confused for a minute, then say “Oh well, I still have my tanning appointment tomorrow, right? Because, seriously, if I start losing my color then I’ll kill myself. Wait, did y’all just say I have kids? Holy crap, nevermind, this Whopper has extra pickles! Yay!”

Images: Splash
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  1. LL

    RE The day before all this, she probably sat at home, surrounded by Whoppers, thinking aloud “Wow, I hope that Kevin Federline gets those kids away from that awful girl.” Then someone would point out to Britney that she is that awful girl. She’d look kind of confused for a minute, then say “Oh well, I still have my tanning appointment tomorrow, right? Because, seriously, if I start losing my color then I’ll kill myself. Wait, did y’all just say I have kids? Holy crap, nevermind, this Whopper has extra pickles! Yay!”

    Meant to say earlier, this shit is funny… except that I’m not sure Britney actually can speak in full sentences.

    As for how she’s looking, I will grant that her hair looks a little better than usual (though that’s not saying much) but the bod… eh. Her clothes are fugly, though they do cover up more than usual, so that’s an improvement. It’s just too bad when women with kids don’t realize that having kids is a responsibility and that they should put at least as much effort into caring for their kids as they do their hair extensions and their tan. Britney is just a white trash skank with money.

  2. JP

    What’s the deal with celebrities always checking into hotels in the same city that they live? I mean, I never suddenly decide to go down and get a room at the hotel 5 miles from my house because……..well……….I have a house. And why do celebrities always seem to be taking vacations? What are they vacationing from?

  3. IWONKY

    That’s it! I’m a-scared she’s gonna comeback agin!!! Please Brit, release the dog, brown hair is okay, eat all the Whoppers, suckers and Cheetos you want…but don’t COMEBACK!!!!

  4. this is hey!

    i said shes not going to have a comeback, but shes isn’t fat. especially not right here. 10 pounds and she’ll be FINE.
    i think people that always hated her are saying she is fat to them because they are secretly scared if she looks good enough that she will have a come back no matter what.

  5. chaz

    IT’S BRITNEY BITCH.

  6. Yosef

    You people are morons Britney is perfect looking ! she has had 2 kids ! Her tummy looks yummy. I would love to lick it . She is so sexy ! I want to be one of her many anonymous sexual partners

  7. JP

    I don’t think she looks all that bad, just comparing her quickly to most women you see on the street. The problem is, I could never get past the reports that she belches and farts all the time.

  8. IWONKY

    She’s not fat, just stupid. She’s got to promote Gimme (some) More so she’ll be coming back I fear.

  9. IWONKY

    BRIT – FREE THE DOG – DO PORN

  10. Sapphire

    What?? Are you people looking at the same Britney pics I am?? She’s STILL fat! Her belly is still big! Once you squeeze out a kid your body never goes back to what it used to be.

  11. Nick

    #20- you beat me to it. Seriously, LA’s police commish’s name is Gordon? That is too good to be true.

  12. Sapphire

    #57 Right? Wassup with that. It’s not like she has to get away from the kids for a night at this point!!

  13. IWONKY

    I kinda like women with a little belly on them…..bony chicks are gross.

  14. ssdd

    Any Mother that loses, no, intentionally manipulates the situation so that she Ends up losing her children should Never, Ever have one ounce of respect in any form or fashion.

  15. IWONKY

    Yup

  16. Sapphire

    There’s a difference between being boney and anorexic vs. thin fit and toned. It’s good that you like fatsos. Fatties fit in well with guys with beer bellies, not athletic guys with 6-pack abs. They’d look like sloths next to an athlete. Different strokes for different folks.

  17. PunkA

    I just lost my kids ya’all!! Let’s go do some tanning!!! Hey, my paparazzi, can you pick me up some cheetohs and a few red bulls while I tan? And take my little dawg for a walk?

    Girl has no sense of PR. License first, THEN tan. Dumb stupid redneck.

  18. TS

    #62, you think that mug is sexy? And did you really just use the word “Yummy”? You want to be one of her sex partners? You know she doesn’t have a penis, right? What man uses the word Yummy?

    Could I possibly string together more questions?

    To me, her retardation completely nullifies any shred sexiness that may remain from the old days. She should change her name to Corky. OK, this is where the bleeding-heart Down’s contingent piles on. Go ahead, let me have it…

  19. Scaramonga

    It’s Britney? Bitch!

  20. IWONKY

    Anna Nicole would never have given her kids up. She loved her kids so much.

  21. for Sapphire

    i agree that she was thick at the VMAs, not FAT but thick with extra chub in her stomach and back, bloated face.
    click on the first picture though, look at her stomach, there is a line of definition on the side. it looks firm.
    no way in hell is she fat.
    not by any standards of health , etc…
    not even overweight.
    not what she was at her prime? no she isn’t
    she has lost a few pounds since the VMAs, she prob hasn’t been eating as much.
    i’ve seen fatter girls with bodys not as good with guys that have six packs
    really and truly.

  22. for Sapphire

    bodies

  23. LiveForever

    Britney, Is So fucked up that she will live forever. Laugh at her all you want she really doesn’t care. She feels no guilt and no regrets. Her life is so stress free she’ll never die of a heart attack or stroke. Pyschiatrists should study her to figure out what parts of her brain don’t work right the same way they study serial killers.

  24. Christ on a Crotch

    miss universe (puhleeze) said,
    “You may not think she is not fazed – but no mother can be indifferent to the loss of kids.”

    Boy are you out of your element. How the fuck do you know what any mother can and cannot to? There are no rules. There are just sick fucks who procreate because they can. Some people shouldn’t have kids because they end up drowing them after pushing their car into a lake or submerging them under water.

    SHUT THE FUCK UP and change your name you stupid idiot.

    Go to the goddamned hospitals where the crack babies are a dime a dozen and there are not enough volunteers to hold them and give them the body heat they need. I CAN have kids but I choose not to. That is an informed decision. Fuck Britney and fuck you, you know-it-all.

  25. YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY, I’M IN LOVE WITH HER TUMMY!!!

  26. Her Eyeglasses looks good!

  27. Lori Spelling

    Breyla wrote: “Daily Mail might rip up celebs but they should learn how to spell first…. “license”.”

    Uhm, the spelling with the “c” is the British/Commonwealth spelling. The Daily Mail is an English newspaper. Therefore, they use the English spelling. In standard Commonwealth English, “license” means “to give permission” and “licence” is the noun form of of the word. Most English words are supposed to work that way, but Americans get a bit too confused with them and then have to post silly things in blog comments about how the English can’t spell English words that Americans don’t understand properly.

  28. Mmmm, the yummy tummy is comin back

  29. lambman

    well, its not like anybody thought she had 1/2 a snowballs chance in hell of getting custody. I’m sure even Britt knew going into it that Kevin would get them

  30. IWONKY

    Brit looks ok to me for the most part when her hair isn’t a mess, she bathes, combs her hair and wears underwear…she could stand to lose a couple of lbs, tone up a little more, but she appears to be doing that…she definitely looks better in these pics, but there’s no telling what she’ll look like tomorrow. I’m saying she’s not fat right now. Obviously, what’s not fat to me, is fat to others. I’m just saying, I don’t like someone’s bones poking into me in bed.

  31. eleven toes

    Kids are over rated anyway. KFed is doing her a favor.

  32. Annie Rexia

    So Britney, they took your kids away. What on earth are you going to use as an ashtray? Let’s face it. Brit doesn’t give a shit. Is anyone suprised? The little fuckers probably wouldn’t praise her in the way to which she is accustomed, so she devised a plan to get rid of them. Personally, I think she is a maniacal genius!

  33. nLUVwDaStars

    1st of all she isn’t fat! All of you need to stop!! 2nd This girl is in TROUBLE & is in need of serious help! It’s not a joke people! Her poor babies! I’m so glad her kids are in better hands!!!!!!!!!!!! Intervention anyone??????????????

  34. lastangelman

    Does anyone remember that online movie depicting a 50year old 250lb Britney Spears at a very unattended autograph signing at a mall bookstore and running into a bald paunchy Justin Timberlake?

  35. TS is a pumphead

    @36: It wasn’t gratuitous, pumphead, it was totally justifiable. I had to use it, to get pumpheads like you exited, pumphead.

    Here is another necessary use of the word “pumphead”, pumphead:

    While Britney is a crackhead, TS is a pumphead . . .

  36. OMFG I FUCKING LOVE CRAZY FANNY FLAP BRITNEY FACE WITH HER CUSTARD POT FLASHING IT IN EVERYONES MINGING FACES I DONT SEE WHY EVERYONE CANT JUST PUT POOS IN THEIR PISSFLAPS AND LEAVE HER ALONE AND HER KIDDY FIDDLER NESS PEOPLE MAKE ME SO MADE THAT I CRYSTAL METH NESS HER TO A CRYSTAL GRAVE WHERE SHE WILL OUT LIVE ELVIS AND LENNON FOR ALL OF ETERNITY LONG LIVE BRITNEY I LOVE YOU BRITNEY IN YOUR FACE HATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. OMFG I FUCKING LOVE CRAZY FANNY FLAP BRITNEY FACE WITH HER CUSTARD POT FLASHING IT IN EVERYONES MINGING FACES I DONT SEE WHY EVERYONE CANT JUST PUT POOS IN THEIR PISSFLAPS AND LEAVE HER ALONE AND HER KIDDY FIDDLER NESS PEOPLE MAKE ME SO MADE THAT I CRYSTAL METH NESS HER TO A CRYSTAL GRAVE WHERE SHE WILL OUT LIVE ELVIS AND LENNON FOR ALL OF ETERNITY LONG LIVE BRITNEY I LOVE YOU BRITNEY IN YOUR FACE HATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. OMFG I FUCKING LOVE CRAZY FANNY FLAP BRITNEY FACE WITH HER CUSTARD POT FLASHING IT IN EVERYONES MINGING FACES I DONT SEE WHY EVERYONE CANT JUST PUT POOS IN THEIR PISSFLAPS AND LEAVE HER ALONE AND HER KIDDY FIDDLER NESS PEOPLE MAKE ME SO MADE THAT I CRYSTAL METH NESS HER TO A CRYSTAL GRAVE WHERE SHE WILL OUT LIVE ELVIS AND LENNON FOR ALL OF ETERNITY LONG LIVE BRITNEY I LOVE YOU BRITNEY IN YOUR FACE HATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  39. @88

    Her poor babies are millionares. They’ll be set for life. I would put up with a sloppy ,fat mother and loser father for that kind of life. That bitch needs 0 help. What is all this shit about her being in need of serious help?
    She has more money and resources than any of us could possibly hope for, yet keeps on doing what she is doing. She is not mentally ill, she is so fucking FULL OF HERSELF that she feels she doesn’t need to listen to anyone. Why are you people feeling so sorry for this little cunt that would squash you like a bug if you didn’t kiss her ass to her specifications. I really have to question the self esteem of all these people that feel sorry for Britney. 88. The only person that needs an intervention is you. Get some help! Stop loving the stars, and start loving yourself.

  40. IWONKY

    Brit looks good enough to do porn…and she’s got some extra time on her hands.

  41. soy

    did she stop in for lipo, get her tubes tied and gett her driversliscence

  42. grarrg

    Stop loving the stars, and start loving yourself.

    Amen.

  43. TS

    #90, just scram already. Be gone.

    On second thought, maybe I am a pumphead, I was pumping your mother’s head last night and blowing ropes all over her jacked up mug. Have you ever gotten head from a toothless woman? Takes a little getting used to but it’s pretty sweet. Then I shat in her mouth. That’s definitely not my thing, but she said she wouldn’t leave until I did. I mean, I tried to drag her out of my house by the scruff of her neck, but I must overesimate my strength. I thought I could get a good grip because the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs, but that shit was just way too greasy. Get your poor mother some shampoo and soap.

  44. AyeClaudius

    BREAD AND CIRCUSES!!!

  45. adeliza

    #79—

    You go , girl!!!!!

  46. dasadsdasdasdasdas

    Never mind the body, that is not what bothers me about her. Its like she “Tried” to look like a trailer park queen. She looks she raided a truck drivers closet … and then just made it “her” own. As with her hair, I know she shaved her head, but I’m sure after 7 months or so. Your hair will be enough to make sure the hair extensions stay in properly.

    Somebody with that much money can’t afford clothes … yeah … I know she is sick … blah blah blah.

  47. asdsadadasdasdasdsa

    #98 wow I give you points for originality. Suck my plastic tits. and lick my tranny asshole.

  48. She had until tomorrow to hand the kids over but instead she did it early because why would she want to spend as much time with her boys as possible? And what’s with the outfit? I’ve seen zombie corpes with more fashion sense. The manager at the local Burger King has more style. Look at her manicure. Awesome. The chewed nails/chipped polish is so in right now. Nice nails were so 2006.

  49. Stephanie

    I think Britney does miss her children and does want to be with them. I believe she checked into a hotel to be by herself and have time to think. I’m betting (or maybe hoping) she’s trying to get it together. I’m sure a hotel room is somewhere she can be alone. Even if there’s paparazzi waiting all around… in which no matter where she is (esp. after yesterdays’ ruling) they’ll be there, I think she needed a change of scenery. Maybe none of you think this at all, but possibly, just possibly being at home would make her miss her children more.

  50. ssdd

    That “pumphead”? shit is now Way past old.

    91 …the ‘Short-Bus’ driver called…they are circling BAck around for you … get your lunch box and go— youre late as fuck.

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