Britney Spears in a bra is shattering my world

After frightening the entire modern world with her nipples, someone on Team Britney managed to get her in a bra yesterday which probably explains the bruises and why she’s knocking back a Starbucks with two smokes. Because containing Britney Spears’ breasts has to be like trying to put a cat in a tub full of water, but with more stun guns and promises of soda pop.