Britney Spears is the Antichrist, tries to hang herself

March 5th, 2007 // 139 Comments
britney-spears-antichrist.jpg

Britney Spears allegedy tried to hang herself with a bedsheet after writing 666 on her shaved head and running around the rehab facility screaming “I am the Antichrist!” at frightened staff. A friend of her says:

“She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt.” But within days out-of-control Britney had swung from suicidal to matrimonial as she told hubby Kevin Federline she wanted to take him back, renew their wedding vows and get pregnant.

What’s left for her to do? The only way she could fall any farther is if she got huge boob implants and then drew a face on a watermelon and pretended it was her baby.

superficial

  1. N'Arianne

    @ 41. Oh, if she killed herself it would be worse. It’d be like Anna Nicole Smith, only worse…it’d be all they posted stories on for weeks. It’ be totally lame. Me, I am just afraid Woody Allen is going to die soon…imagine the weekend specials with AAAALL his films.

  2. UNCLE NED

    Kill ‘em all Britney, kill ‘em all. They’re all against you…

  3. cuesta_rey

    Is any of this even true?

    It was in an Aussie tabloid and now a UK.

    Britney just needs to grow up–which will never happen.

    Paxil and fatness then relapses and attention-whoring until she overdoses.

  4. hendero

    “I’m not a girl, not yet a human…..”

  5. brandy87

    Britney is fucking nuts. I never thought i would see the day, Britney is going to kill herself by the end of this, i can see it now

  6. sea

    I bet Brooke Shields is ever so happy about her decision to reach out to this nutbag.

    Note to Brooke: Just because she had your book in her face doesn’t mean she was reading it. I’ve never read Down Came the Rain, but am fairly confident that Britney was just looking for pictures of weather.

  7. igvegdrim

    i think the wax job we saw on her cunt is truely why she has gone nuts.
    but….i would still go to town on that starfish

  8. TashaVin`

    Lordy Lordy Lordy.

  9. Denimpetal

    Jesus, this poor girl. Yeah I know the reason we’re on this site and not fan clubs and all that shit. I feel guilty, and I feel sorry for her.
    I hope it’s fake, but even so, the sad part is it’s believable. Some of you should try being in that mindset for just 5 minutes. None of you would last.
    I’m so done with this site now. It used to be funny now it’s just cruel, so bye, see ya in hell bitches.

  10. TashaVin`

    This site is an addiction for me. I love it, I love the humor, but honeslty, Antichrist? Hrm. I do believe she would take K-Fu*kup back, though.

  11. grits2005

    Since when does having yet another baby fix any relationship let alone a marriage??? This girl is so far past reality it isnt even funny anymore. What a selfish bitch to think its okay to keep bringing children into her sick little pathetic life for the purpose of making a life for herself. Its disgusting. I could go on for hours, hasnt even left rehab and got well but oh lets have another baby it will fix everything. just disgusting!!!!

  12. D'oh Eyes

    “luckily she was unhurt”? According to who?

  13. jrzmommy

    Look, someone could tell me that Britney stuck live grenades up a nun’s ass and I’d believe it at this point.

  14. jilco

    nah, I don’t buy it. People can make up any story that they want while she is in there. I’ll belive it when I see the video on TMZ

  15. chiris

    I thought it was a joke… man, that’s really messed up! How did she get to this point? What went wrong?

  16. MizScarlett

    And in other news…. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

    O, Superfish, please rise to your former brillance. This is some seriously boring crapola.

  17. Conky

    Hey Britney, next time instead of using a bedsheet use a loaded Glock, mmkay?

    And quit drawing on yourself.

  18. kbb

    good lord she is getting annoying. im sick of hearing about her dramatic acts for attention.

  19. I LOVE the fact that it was supposedly a “Friend” that released this story….yeah, Suuuuuure it was a friend.

    Although funny enough I HAVE heard that Satan uses her Vag as a back entrance to hell when the front gate is too crowded.

  20. Uh, haha. Nice. They should have let her fucking hang herself. She’s one step away from biting it, anyway. 666…lol, what a tool.

  21. ZZZzzz………………

  22. jrzmommy

    Satan was like, Bitch…please.

  23. D'arcy

    She should marry Marilyn Manson.

  24. superficially

    everytime this chick does something crazy y’all say ITS FAKE….

    HELLO THE BITCH IS CRAZY…
    CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY

    showing vagina, shaving head, being the antichist….it’s all her

    or maybe her entire life is being photoshopped….what a new spin on reality TV

  25. PunjabPete

    OMG… Kevin was the good one… BS was teh evil one…

    And when KFED says NO? Amazing…

    You know of course that she is just going into attention whore withdrawels… No paparazi or fans clamoring around her in the rehab… Baby Spears needy some attention…

    Dear god, just don’t let her breed any more…

  26. CowgirlUp

    There just comes a point where it’s not funny anymore, and it’s sad to see someone spiral so out of control.

  27. siren823

    Where did you find this story? I can’t find verification anywhere. Until then, I call bullshit.

  28. lambman

    I never thought I’d say this, but perhaps Scientology could HELP her. At least they’d “audit” her and keep her locked up for a few weeks…and wouldn’t leak stories like this to the press. What kind of horrible rehab center releases statements about their patients like this?

  29. jrzmommy

    I hope some real loony bastard walked up to her and looked her right in the eye and said, You, madam, are no antichrist! real hoity toity and then licked her face and went back to talking to the floor.

    and remember when paris hilton was bringing down Britney’s property value? oh my!

  30. herbiefrog

    I never thought I’d say this, but perhaps Scientology could HELP her

    sure they’ll help her…
    right over a cliff they’ll help her

    they are part of the “good ol’ boys network’

    …govt, military, corp hq, most churches

    …or
    …are
    …you
    …just
    …waking up? : )

  31. DingleberryJam

    Has anyone started bets on when she’ll kill herself yet?
    This could be fun! The money could be used to fund a Britney Suicide Par-tay.
    Fruit punch and pizza hut pizza for everybody!

  32. #77 siren823

    Click on the highlighted words “Tried to hang herself” up there in the article, it will take you right to the website of the British paper that published the story.

  33. N'Arianne

    Tune: CRAZY by Britney Spears.
    This is a little piece of lyrics by me about the recent life of Ms. Spears.

    K-Fed, I’m so into you
    You got that dope so what can I do
    K-Fed, dope trips me about
    I am a-shavin

  34. anothershityear

    “allegedy tried to hang herself with a bedsheet”

    tried ??

    TRIED !?!?!?!?!?

    looks like her fans aren’t the only ones she’s disappointing nowadays

  35. herbiefrog

    i’ll give you…
    a less violent version
    of what we gave others

    …if the love goes
    …what ya gonna do then?
    …spiral down

    …spin rules : )

  36. Niecy

    I guess that is why she wanted her own area of the rehab clinic away from the other patients. So she could run around like a crazy person and worship the devil.

    If she wants K-Fed back then you know she has completely lost it.

  37. Niecy

    Actually after going to the link and reading the article, I find this a little hard to believe. She has been doing some crazy stuff, but this seems far-fetched. I will wait till I hear it from another source.

  38. lostinspace

    #38-Technically, all you need is one.

  39. freakNpink

    I was betting on this
    Pay up! lol

  40. 86

    This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.

  41. VeronicaRedux

    This new Britney beats the old “Hit me Baby” Britney anyday. She’s hot.

  42. when you are more white trash then KFed, you have hit rock bottom. Popozao!

  43. k naz

    it may sound perverse and problamatic but wouldn’t the suicide of britney make most of you people’s wish come true? her life is so fucked up, i totally believe she would do this

  44. Bethany

    This hasn’t been posted on any reliable news organization’s websites all day. This would be bigger news – the fact checking for “News of the World” is, I imagine, not so rigorous. You shouldn’t have posted this without confirmation from a reliable source – I know it’s a blog, but there’s still some responsibility to be taken; people read this and believe it. Her career has been damaged enough without inflammatory stories like this cruising through cyberspace.

  45. jrzmommy

    I agree with #94. Britney has been through enough, and there’s no need to pile on with fabricated humiliations. At this point, I feel very sorry for her, and protective. About the only thing I can feel good about is that Kevin has been so wonderful as a parent and a support for Britney. I always knew he was a beautiful man, despite all the maliciously negative publicity.

  46. Sweet Amber

    i know she’s crazier then a shit house rat and all, but i don’t know… this sounds so made up. o.<

  47. Ted...From LA

    As she kicked out the chair, I heard the sheet ripped from the weight and she landed on an LA telephone book and split it in half.

  48. PunjabPete

    Guess enough bad publicity and she really WILL try and hang herself…. You know. The please her fans….

  49. woodhorse

    She’s mentally ill and going through a bad time – she’ off limits for me to criticize. If there isn’t a post of her for awhile, some of you could go up on the highway and kick the road kill in order to feel superior.

  50. PunjabPete

    Right… Because people who get addicted to crystal meth, cocaine, ectasy, and alchohal truley deserve out pity… 40 million bucks and she cannot find way to live a decent life. The two kids should be enough inspiration for her to live well but they aren’t because she is so self Centered. She si the queen of attention whores.

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