Britney Spears allegedy tried to hang herself with a bedsheet after writing 666 on her shaved head and running around the rehab facility screaming “I am the Antichrist!” at frightened staff. A friend of her says:
“She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt.” But within days out-of-control Britney had swung from suicidal to matrimonial as she told hubby Kevin Federline she wanted to take him back, renew their wedding vows and get pregnant.
What’s left for her to do? The only way she could fall any farther is if she got huge boob implants and then drew a face on a watermelon and pretended it was her baby.
duhhhcy | March 5, 2007 at 7:46 am
gross
Colden Whett | March 5, 2007 at 7:46 am
FIRST!! Somebody shoot her and put her out of her misery already…
Sheriff Jen | March 5, 2007 at 7:46 am
old news for those of us who already knew she was the anti christ.
leezastudio | March 5, 2007 at 7:47 am
I’ts about time .. .. .
Johnny Be Good | March 5, 2007 at 7:47 am
She has a couple of problems.
Colden Whett | March 5, 2007 at 7:47 am
damn…
rtnmac | March 5, 2007 at 7:48 am
Not sure about the boobs, but I loves me some watermelon.
marvinsuggs | March 5, 2007 at 7:48 am
Poor crazy Britney. It’s past the point of humorous, and just scarry and weird at this point. And a little humorous. Probably the biggest indication that her life is inthe crapper is not trying to hang herself, but that she thinks more of K-Fed in her life will help.
leezastudio | March 5, 2007 at 7:50 am
wow, i wonder what’s next? running ppl over in trafic with her umbrella hanging from the window screaming, I am the angel of the dark side!! man, she has soooooo lost it
Chanty | March 5, 2007 at 7:52 am
Yeah right… This is something Tom Cruise would do, but not Britney. I don’t believe shit of this story.
Johnny Be Good | March 5, 2007 at 7:52 am
Now’s the time to say goodbye
To all our company
Through the years we’ll all be friends
Wherever we may be
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse
Forever let us hold our banner high
M-I-C – See ya real soon!
K-E-Y – Why? Because we like you!
M-O-U-S-E!!
Donkey | March 5, 2007 at 7:53 am
Is she becoming one of the Manson girls?
jrzmommy | March 5, 2007 at 7:54 am
I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but….RUN, K-FAG….RUN LIKE THE WIND. TAKE THEM BABIES AND HAUL ASS!!
Donkey | March 5, 2007 at 7:55 am
I’d still do her crazy ass.
jakebarnes | March 5, 2007 at 7:58 am
As much as I’d like to believe this, it’s gotta be fake…
Ahem Roid | March 5, 2007 at 7:59 am
“The only way she could fall any farther is if she got huge boob implants and then drew a face on a watermelon and pretended it was her baby.”
let’s leave Anna Nicole Smith out of this.
JoshSpazJosh | March 5, 2007 at 7:59 am
Ummmm…
Is “News of the World” the most credible source?
rrd | March 5, 2007 at 8:02 am
I agree with #15. Gotta be fake
crestlin | March 5, 2007 at 8:02 am
you know, at first i thought the press was blowing everything about her out of proportion…that maybe she was just going through a rough patch like everyone else…but holy crap! this woman has actually lost her mind. i can understand the antichrist thing, but taking back fed-ex???
Donkey | March 5, 2007 at 8:04 am
I think I’m in love.
One of these days I’m gonna marry that girl!
sol | March 5, 2007 at 8:07 am
at least the story made Fish update. it’s not as boring as lindsay lohan or the skinny cracker twins, but of course it’s fake – the staff at an inpatient rehab facility got “scared” and “didn’t know what to do” when a patient had a freakout. sure they did. it must have been everybody’s first day.
gatorbates | March 5, 2007 at 8:07 am
I’d like to see what her and Charles Manson’s offspring would turn out to be ……
A singing homicidal maniac.
“Slash me baby one more time”
Prediction … she will not be alive in 3 years.
brennreyn | March 5, 2007 at 8:07 am
The sad part is that this is actually somewhat believable.
suzy | March 5, 2007 at 8:09 am
that’s really sad.
and scarey
Bugman4045 | March 5, 2007 at 8:14 am
It is 11am on the east coast.
This story is utter bullshit.
The Superfish guy can’t rouse himself out of bed any sooner in the day to give us some mildly interesting Celeb gossip?
Anticlown has been advertising for writers. I can think of three posters on this site that could write better stories than Superfish does. I think the posters will need to save this site.
herbiefrog | March 5, 2007 at 8:15 am
…she’s gonna be fine
does that feel better?
respect and charity
africa might be good place to spend a few million
Stink | March 5, 2007 at 8:15 am
Detox is a wonderful thing. I’m surprised she didn’t steal someone’s wheelchair and play Professor X.
Me No Know | March 5, 2007 at 8:20 am
I’m certain it’s been said before, but I’ll see it again. With that shaved head, that girl is the definition of a bull dyke. I swear I want to stand in front of her with a rose clutched between my teeth while I wave a red cape in front of her. Viva la Bull!!!
And wow. I’m a sick fuck and giggled with perverse glee at her downward spiral, but this is getting just plain sad. Not sad enough for me to stop poking fun at her, but sad enough that I might have a moment of regret when she goes on a killing rampage in the rehab center.
Niki_Jacob | March 5, 2007 at 8:20 am
It has to be all for show. How embarassing and sad. She’s always wanted the media to leave her alone…… =0P
Flip Rogers | March 5, 2007 at 8:23 am
Why did they stop her???
Donkey | March 5, 2007 at 8:24 am
Most people in the real world know that when you’re trying to get custody of your kids you should be on good behavior.
schack | March 5, 2007 at 8:25 am
please. being CRAZY is the only way to have a long-standing PERMISSION SLIP to NOT be free.
who wants to admit s/he is free? that would mean that s/he is accountable for everything she’s done. she’s faking it, for sure (see article link), but to make a pretty enlightened point (hate to say it):
“I AM NOT FREE”
schack | March 5, 2007 at 8:27 am
well, who the fuck is, honey?
it’s idealogical bullshit, signed and sold by the good ol’ boys… forget freedom. what we need is forgiveness.
schack | March 5, 2007 at 8:28 am
o
superstar | March 5, 2007 at 8:33 am
I don’t know why her mum is not doing anything really. Why doesn’t she force Britney to move back in with her so she can look after this crazy person who she brought into the world?
GooniesNeverSayDie | March 5, 2007 at 8:36 am
This is going to be the BEST episode of “VH1 Behind the Music” of ALL TIME!
I smell a three-hour special in the making!
PS Not to get off-topic, but does anyone else wonder what Cisco Adler’s nuts are up to lately? We havent heard anything in awhile.
HellKitten | March 5, 2007 at 8:38 am
This is obviously not true. If it REALLY happened, the numbers across Britney’s forehead would have read 999.
UNWASHEDMASSES | March 5, 2007 at 8:41 am
What she needs is a good cooter punch. Get her right while she running around looking like some freaky Ghandi, just a good, full-bodied uppercut to the cunt. The problem is she’s got so many people babying her. She needs someone to get in her face, bring her down a notch – have a donkey teabag her. Watch K-Fag turn down her reconciliation. If that doesn’t cause her to want to go see Jesus, I don’t know what would. Getting back with K-Fag at this point would be like gifting a cutter with a year’s supply of razor blades.
HollyJ | March 5, 2007 at 8:43 am
In other news, her bald head looks like Cisco’s ballsac
(#36-now we know what’s been going on with it)
N@ughty | March 5, 2007 at 8:46 am
Wow, Britney’s really snapped. i mean here i was thinking Promises might clean up her act. maybe that was everyone’s assumption. guess she proved us wrong then didn’t she? that’s britney! good ol’ britney. i wonder what kind of drugs she’ll take next. maybe next time we hear about her, she’ll be the one that snuck outta Promises and tied a rope to a sheet and yelled “look everybody! its a kite! look at it go!”
~N@ughty
Carsten5577 | March 5, 2007 at 8:47 am
Attention whore. I wish she would just kill herself for real, then we wouldn’t have to read so much about this stupid idiot.
N@ughty | March 5, 2007 at 8:49 am
@20. i think ur in love too. as a matter of fact, i think ur just the thing Britney needs right now. another crazy hudband. good luck in Rehab…i mean thats where ur going if u plan to marry Britney.
~N@ughty
mrlithium | March 5, 2007 at 8:51 am
i am not the father of that watermelon
jrzmommy | March 5, 2007 at 8:52 am
Why can’t I get Nelson Muntz’s laugh out of my head??
murmurzz | March 5, 2007 at 8:54 am
Instead of lollygagging around on this site and typing about how Britney’s Gone Bonkers – I, for one, am going to post flyers about town seeking her missing marbles. She has certainly lost a few. Adios!
Stink | March 5, 2007 at 8:54 am
36- Cisco Adler is cloning his nuts so he can have a klik-klakking Newton’s cradle in his pants. Fun for perverted physics students!
N'Arianne | March 5, 2007 at 8:56 am
Remember when they decided to divorce and everyone was sooo happy about that thinking she’d lose all that weight she put on and go back to being the famous-babe Britney Spears. I liked it better when she was married. But then again her becoming the anti-Christ is good, it is a step in the right direction away from the selfdenial she’s been in. Soon K-Fed will stop denying himself and let his hair grow and claim he’s Britney Spears. They make a fine couple, a fine couple indeed.
Damn their kids are going to be fucked up.
eastboundanddown | March 5, 2007 at 8:59 am
This story is so fake. Please. Next thing you’re going to tell us Britney attacks cars with umbrellas and hijacks salons to shave her own head.
Reveille | March 5, 2007 at 8:59 am
I can’t believe you guys actually believe this crap! This didn’t happen. Not only is it a fake story but it’s not even funny.
schack | March 5, 2007 at 9:00 am
isn’t selfdenial a redundancy?