Losing her children last week apparently woke Britney Spears up to the fact that she needs to change her ways. It turns out that all this time Britney had no natural maternal instincts. Really? I thought using your kid’s head as an ashtray was as natural as breast-feeding. Who knew? Ok! Magazine has the details of her parenting problems:
“No one has ever trained her or shown her how to look after her boys,” one Britney insider reveals in the next issue of OK!. “She really wants to learn, and she’s going to try really hard. She’s been taking parenting classes and taking them very seriously.”
The source adds that Britney’s limited knowledge of parenting comes from lack of experience, not an absence of love.
“She loves those boys beyond belief,” the source explains. “She just doesn’t know how to be a good mom.”
Britney, once again, I’m here for you. If you’re wondering how to take better care of your kids, just pretend they’re one of your precious Frappucinos. You know, your favorite ice-blended coffee drink that you’d slit someone’s throat if they tried to take away from you. I mean, if someone said you had to show up in court to keep your caramel Frap, you’d show up and not go tanning, right? Now apply that thinking to your kids. Yes, I know they don’t come with extra whipped cream, but that’s part of parenting. It’s tough, but in the end, your kids will soon be able to talk and say things like, “Why do we live at a bus station? Weren’t you rich? You spent how much at Starbucks? Dammit, I could’ve gone to college. I want to live with Dad above the bowling alley.”
My gosh she is actually dressed normal! Would someone please help her with clothing…..she really needs help.
so, the thing with her putting Sean P on her lap was bad, she goes out a little too much…. but she has a babysitter
in the real world moms do worse and still get to keep their kids
hate to say it, but it is true. I have a friend that works for DHS.
Britney is far from perfect, but she has nannies to help her look after them. I don’t think that is great parenting… but kids don’t normally get taken away just because their mom doesn’t make them go to bed at 8 and only allows them to watch sesame street.
she has passed 2 drug tests already, other celeb moms are known to be addicts and keep their children
kate moss anyone? courtney love anyone??
the thing that bothers me most about this girl is how she thinks it is funny and cute to look like a sloppy piece of crap
and eventhough she is naturally pretty and considered a former sex symbol she doesn’t give a damn how she looks in public.
Is she being payed by starbucks or something?
Why are all actresses carrying their bags like this?
not on their shoulder. Not holding the straps by the hand.
Over their inner arm with limp-dick wrist?
can someone PLEASE answer this?
Celebrities didn’t always have chronic fag-wrist while toting their totes. What is up with this?
Nobody has trained her on how to take care of her kids? Is she kidding? You have 9 months to prepare. You read. You ask other mothers. You talk to your doctor. Then, when the time comes, you wing it. You learn from your mistakes. There is no manual. I was 16 and 18 when I had my boys. Their father and I figured it out. We fed them, bathed them, played with them, kept them safe and happy. It was hard, but parenting always is. Now my boys are 17 and 15 and I have a 5 year old. They are great kids. Never been taken away, never been in any trouble. If a freaking naive 16 year old can figure it out, Britney can. Plus, I had no help in the form of a nanny.
She’ll never get 50/50 again…she spends too much time seeking the paps attention. Anyone can see her children are terrified when with her
Britney is lazy. And short-legged. The combination of being lazy and short-legged results in what we see here. A good 15 centimeters of torn-off jeans hem about to be lost on Starbuck’s floor.
Britney is skinny and by skinny I mean she drinks 27 caramel fraps a day.
I’m going to sue the hospital that my daughter was born in 4 months ago…..they never told me or my wife how to be parents either.
WE ARE VICTIMS TOO BRITTANY!!!
*barf*….there, I feel better.
I wish she would trip over those ridiculous jeans and stab herself in the throat with her sword-necklace.
18….u dont see her getting her nails done at a nail salon cuz those are press-on nails
all we ever see is fuckin britney,paris and lindsey….someone hang me now
Lowest job on earth: holding Britney’s purse while she buys yet another inch for her fat ass.
Here’s a thought: Britney’s rich: couldn’t she just build a Starbucks in K-Fed’s basement? Then she could kill 2 birds with one stone, and she’d see her kids twice, maybe three times a day!!! Now that’s some serious parenting.
Britney needs an assistant to carry her purse is because she lost custody of the kids, so she no longer has any offspring around to carry her stuff for free like Mrs. Beckham does.
You know, mothering is a natural instinct. Empathy, love and concern for the little life you created. Obviously this bitch is stupid and should be put down. That’s what my mom did when my cat ate her second litter of kittens.
# 54 where the hell are you seeing limp-dick wrists?? and are you seriously saying yo’ve never seen an average woman carry her bag like that?? i highly doubt those straps fit over the shoulder, and if you can create TWO free hands then why the hell not?! fag
Doesn’t she have two younger siblings??? Once agin proving she is an idiot, she learned NOTHING from being in a home with younger siblings???
No one should have to teach you how to be a fucking parent.
At least she remembered to take the wrapper off the straw this time.
wow im scurred
looks like she is actually wearing a bra here.
how..
unusual..
Man what a load of crap…”she hasn’t had kids before”??? LOTS of people haven’t had kids before, but they don’t treat their kids like she does the first time. That’s the stupidest excuse EVER. Britney is the most SELFISH person. She shouldnt’ have had kids if all she cares about is herself
That medium frap has 450 calories, 16 grams of fat, 51 grams of sugar. What a sloppy sow
Those jeans are so damn long, the pre-made creases which are suppose to be behind the knee are down to her shin! NICE! She’s such a slob!
She started to really slim down
#72 I bet you stick your dads penis in your throat to make you throw up those 450 calories huh.
She is sooooo bald.
God I hate this girl, she is dumber than fucking mud. Why did she have 2 children that she is incapable of taking care of? Maybe she should have waited, it’s not rocket science, just use a condomn you dumb bitch. It just goes to show that money and fame cannot buy intelligence. She acts like she grew up in a trailer park and doesn’t know any better. She is a grown woman who should be responsible and take care of her shit, and put some fucking underwear on. You vagina looks like my grade 2 leather shoes from 1984 that were left in a damp garage. Sick!
well at least she’s wearing a decent top. She would look okay if her white bra wasn’t sticking out, if her gut wasn’t exploding, and if her jeans weren’t so ill-fitting. And if her hair was washed. NVM she’s still a wreck. lol.
No one showed her how to take care of her kids????? (screaming) OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!! OMYGODOMYGODOMYGOD!!!!!!!
Where does she come UP with this shit? I mean really; is there an excuse book she keeps in her handbag that she pulls out, she licks her pinky and fingers through it to come up with the appropriate excuse??? ACCOUNTABILITY! People in Fish land, puhleaze, if you have kids, teach them to take responsibility for themselves. PLEASE STOP TEH MAAADNESS!!!! (screaming) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
No one showed me how to fuck or give blowjobs either but I figured it out!
#74
That comment is telling of where your mind is at. Your dad must unloads 450 calories worth of spooey down your throat on a regular basis. Projection is comforting-no?
Britney’s Parenting Class – 4:20 pm
Teacher #1: When is she going to get here already?
Teacher #2: She was supposed to be here, yesterday.
Teacher #1: Well look, she’s on the news again today…
Teacher #2: She was at Starschmuck’s, apparently…
Teacher #1: Oh. What a surprise. Is she part elf or something? What’s wrong with her ear there?
Teacher #2: I don’t know, but at least she’s wearing panties…well I think she’s wearing…what the hell IS that?
Teacher #1: I don’t know, high fashion? Since we had to burn all our chairs after her last visit, I have to insist that she wear something to cover her…unmentionable part while she is here.
Teacher #2: We really need to work on a new plan with her. She is seriously oblivious to her surroundings and only communicates in cryptic bits and pieces of absolute and pure nonsense. She smells of old coffee and stale Cheetos and it’s no wonder the kids always scream bloody murder when she’s around. Now, how on Earth are we going to teach her to parent if we can’t even pry that cellphone, those Mercedes keys and that perpetual Caramel Frapp out of her grubby little hands?
Teacher #1: I don’t know, but it is going to be a long haul. It’s not just the lack of parenting skills. It’s the lack of ability to bathe, comb her hair or wear suitable clothing. Basically, the inability to think for herself or to think ahead. She would not detect a dangerous situation for her children in any way, shape or form and she constantly sings la – la – la – la – la – la and won’t take her fingers out of her ears when we’re giving instruction.
Teacher #2: Yes,…..(sighhhhhhhh)…it’s going to be a long haul.
You know what the biggest parenting class is? Having a goddamn child. What a cop-out. Having to take classes. No one knows how to care for an eating, breathing, shit-factory that a person actually creates. You have a kid, you stop the bullshit, and you learn, and attempt, to take care of the kid. You don’t continue to get wasted and have other people watch your baby. What a fucking doushe Spears is.
P.S. I hate kids, I really do. I’m just saying, what kind of an asshole-loser do you have to be to take parenting lessons? Oh, yeah, Britney. Or Charlie-Manson, but his kids were grown. No, Mr. Manson, there isn’t going to be a race-war. And you’re not going to wait the war out in a cave in Death-Valley.
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