Britney Spears is super serious this time about parenting
Losing her children last week apparently woke Britney Spears up to the fact that she needs to change her ways. It turns out that all this time Britney had no natural maternal instincts. Really? I thought using your kid’s head as an ashtray was as natural as breast-feeding. Who knew? Ok! Magazine has the details of her parenting problems:
“No one has ever trained her or shown her how to look after her boys,” one Britney insider reveals in the next issue of OK!. “She really wants to learn, and she’s going to try really hard. She’s been taking parenting classes and taking them very seriously.”
The source adds that Britney’s limited knowledge of parenting comes from lack of experience, not an absence of love.
“She loves those boys beyond belief,” the source explains. “She just doesn’t know how to be a good mom.”
Britney, once again, I’m here for you. If you’re wondering how to take better care of your kids, just pretend they’re one of your precious Frappucinos. You know, your favorite ice-blended coffee drink that you’d slit someone’s throat if they tried to take away from you. I mean, if someone said you had to show up in court to keep your caramel Frap, you’d show up and not go tanning, right? Now apply that thinking to your kids. Yes, I know they don’t come with extra whipped cream, but that’s part of parenting. It’s tough, but in the end, your kids will soon be able to talk and say things like, “Why do we live at a bus station? Weren’t you rich? You spent how much at Starbucks? Dammit, I could’ve gone to college. I want to live with Dad above the bowling alley.”