Britney Spears is starving herself


Life is so awesome for Britney Spears. On top of yesterday’s custody rulings, her manager quitting and the VMA train wreck, it turns out she might be bulimic as well. Friends of the star are concerned about her eating habits, according to Ok! Magazine:

OK! can report that friends of the beleaguered pop star are worried sick that her starve-and-bing relationship with food may be pushing her even deeper into despair.

“Britney told me, ‘I’ll starve myself because I’m fat,'” one friend of the singer reveals to OK!. “She kept telling me she thought I was fat and disgusting.”

Did that quote make sense to anybody? Does Britney think she’s fat, or does Britney think her friend is fat? Or are they both fat? We know Britney is. And she’s not starving herself, because otherwise she’d be, I dunno, a lot thinner. So Britney is calling her friend fat, right? Wait, what’s this, it turns out Britney’s friend is a Big Mac. It all makes sense now. Britney is the fat one – and crazy. Glad that’s figured out.