Britney Spears is screwed

August 13th, 2007 // 59 Comments

Britney Spears’ cousin/assistant Alli Sims was served legal papers at 3 AM Sunday morning as she was leaving a house party in the Hollywood Hills. The documents state that Alli will be forced to testify in the ongoing custody battle between Britney and Kevin Federline and she’ll have to discuss Britney’s parenting skills, including whether or not she changes diapers and if she drinks too much.

Britney’s only hope is that the judge forgets to get Alli Sims sworn in. Because if Alli is forced to tell the truth, not only is Britney going to lose the kids, she’ll probably end up in prison. Alli could take the stand and make up stories about Britney forcing her kids to sleep in beehives and it would still make her look better than the truth.


  1. douglas

    She looks like Johny Depp as Willy Wonka.

  2. Now I Want That Lollipop


    Looks like #47 is serious, find Actiq on:

  3. Katrinkashuska

    1) she does look like Jacko
    2) being a Jacko look-alike, and similarly a danger to any surrounding children, she moves to a country where they don’t have child protection laws
    3) she forgets the children are hers, and when Brangelina come into town and adopts them, she throws them a parade with herself on the lead float dancing around a little pole.
    4)she gets a pelvic inflammatory disease in said country and becomes sterile, has a better time with herself
    5) she becomes as popular as Tammy Faye Bakker, and in her last 20 minutes has a moment of clarity and is a good mom

    in the meantime, Federline gets another 1 mil a year from her and agrees not to mention children again, fearing she’s going bankrupt from all her hoot-e-nannying and some clause in her life insuance policy that if she kills herself doing something stupid, all her things get repo’ed.

  4. Jacqueline

    Can you say Keith Richards?!?

  5. mimi

    innocent until proven guilty

  6. mimi

    did brit shave her head to avoid drug testing from hair sample

  7. Pray for her! :)

  8. Esther

    I don’t feel sorry for her she deserve to get what is coming to her and more.
    She decided to open her legs and have these babies that did not ask to be born to such a worthless mother. I would only hope that they take her kids away and she goes to prison were there they will either show her how to value her kids or plain and simple — beat the shit out of her and then use her and tell her she is a mistake. She needs a taste of her own medicine. She needs to stop trying to come back cause no one cares. She should try to be a good mother and make sure that her kids are taken care of. But she is a self-absorb little bitch that likes to make the world revolve around her stanky ass. Boohooo Britney — please get over it you are over that’s what. GROW UP and stop thinking about yourself.

  9. reneee thompson

    I do not feel sorry for Britney Spears, she really needs to grow up and stop being in the public eye. I use to like her but she is so lost and worthless now. No one cares anymore because everytime you look around she’s in the tabloids and like she say “oops I did it again”. She is the cause of her career that’s gone bad and losing her kids if they take them. She is so mean to her mother and it’s not her mother fault that she out of control. I am so glad that Christina Aguilliara isn’t like Britney and has her stuff togethter. Britiney needs to turn to profectionals to seriously get help before she kills herself. I would hate to see that happen to her, but the path she’s on it may happen. She doesn’t realize that she losing fans everyday because of her stupidity and all the attention she brings to herself. BRITNEY GET HELP BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE FOR YOU.

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