Britney Spears is pregnant again

February 2nd, 2006 // 124 Comments

bspears-pregnant-again.jpgIn her continuing efforts to be made fun of, Britney Spears is reportedly pregnant with her second child.

Shoppers in Malibu were stunned when the former pop princess grabbed her belly and announced to the entire centre “That’s right, number two!”. The star was apparently distressed that so many people were looking at her in the high-end furniture store Shabby Chic that she felt the need to retaliate. One of Britney’s closest friends told In Touch magazine: “Britney is definitely pregnant again. She’s acting the same way she did when she was pregnant with her first child.”

You know that kid in your fourth grade class that used to eat glue and lick the floor? That’s this kid. It’s some sort of cruel joke that the mentally handicapped are the ones that have the most babies. Albert Einstein didn’t have a single child, and yet Britney Spears and Kevin Federline aren’t going to be happy until they’ve got 12-13 little buggers running around eating dirt, occasionally pausing to turn on mommy’s stories and fetch her Cheetos.

Source

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  1. Devil Is Chrome

    This is her Lord’s way of permanently grounding her career.

    Thank you Britney Spears’ Jesus – thank you.

  2. HollyJ

    Albert Einstein didn’t have a single child, and yet Britney Spears and Kevin Federline aren’t going to be happy until they’ve got 12-13 little buggers running around eating dirt

    LOL!! I love it!

  3. bone_daddio

    just leave the poor kids alone. it’s not their fault.

  4. wunderfulpixi

    So much for the weight loss goals. Maybe this time Britney can use the stretch marks from her last pregnancy to add to the overall image of her exposed white-trash midriff during this one. Can’t wait to see the cutoffs again. Nothing’s hotter than trashy shorts on a pregnant woman.

  5. lysistrata11

    These two should be sterilized. Immediately. Snippity-snip.

  6. patrickneil53072

    Where in the hell did K-FED find time to give Britney the baby batter? After hearing his latest master piece..you would think he would be too busy in the studio for a follow up to his number one hit PO PO ZAO!

  7. rachel

    For some reason I don’t believe this story. However, if it’s true then she can kiss her career goodbye – thank God.

    Is there something wrong with me that I enjoy watching her screw her life up for my entertainment? Maybe I should get out more.

  8. Catscratch

    For the sake of historical accuracy, Einstein had three children by Mileva Maric, his first wife. Their daughter Lieserl was born in 1901, before Einstein and Mileva married, in 1902. All trace of her was lost after the age of two. It is believed that Lieserl was either put up for adoption or died of scarlet fever at a young age.

    Son Hans Albert was born on May 14, 1904, in Bern, Switzerland, and died in 1973, in Falmouth, Massachusetts. He is buried in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.

    Second son, Eduard, was born on July 22, 1910. He died, in 1965, in a psychiatric hospital in Switzerland. Eduard had suffered from schizophrenia since his early twenties.

    Thanks to http://www.skirball.org/exhibit/einstein_answers.asp for the info.

  9. CoJo

    She’s just securing her take home pay in the welfare line by having as many babies as possible.

    Ah, and to think, I used to be envious of her. On a good note, maybe she’s just holding out for a baby girl and once she gets it, she’ll finally dump K-Fag.

    It’s a shame, after the ear-piercing episode, i thought for sure he was on his way to becoming Fed-Ex. It’s just a matter of time before this arrogant mothereffer starts cheating on Britney anyway, don’t you think?

  10. illflux

    Maybe by grabbing her belly and saying “That’s right, number 2,” that was her way of indicating that she is full of shit.

  11. Geno

    This is pretty funny. What a train wreck those kids are going to be. Who is more attractive these days, Katie Holmes, Britney Spears or that guy Bob that anchors CBS news? I vote for Bob.

  12. CoJo

    Definitely Bob.

    illflux, you’re hilarious…

    Maybe she just had to go poop!

  13. HollyJ

    “She’s acting the same way she did when she was pregnant with her first child.”

    Interpretation :

    “She’s on a hormonal roller coaster and will bust bipolar on your ass at any given moment without the slightest provocation. Put up the Cheetos and the shotgun.”

  14. NewGuy

    I got K-Fed pregnant.

    PRAISE XENU!!!

  15. Mary45

    “State Sanctioned Sterilization” Sorry that’s the first thing that popped (pooped) into my head.

  16. susie-q

    #10 I was thinking the same thing

    “that’s right nuber two” means she is severly constipated.

  17. Kg

    Darwin is rolling in his grave…

  18. sheabrizzle

    illflux beat me to it. Britney is trashy enough to announce in public that she needs to make a bowel movement. Speaking of bowel movements, how did K-fed get her pregnant since he’s in Vegas all the time?

  19. thenewjesus

    OH GOD I’ve taken to just leaving the window open and hitting refresh! Please slow down, something sensible like 5 stories a day. I beg of you.

  20. Binky

    You’re right Jesus, you turn away for a sec and you’re like 5 ‘poopie’ jokes behind

  21. Jayne

    awwwwww

  22. NewGuy

    #14

    Funniest COMMENT EVVVVVVEEERRRR!!!
    You Rule #14!!!

  23. gossipmonger

    Not saying I believe it or not, but this is what I got from another site…

    Despite what you may be reading on other websites, Britney Spears “is not pregnant”, her publicist, Leslie Sloane-Zelnick, confirms exclusively to PerezHilton.com.

    A source very familiar to the situation tells us, “It is 99.99% unlikely that Britney is pregnant. If she is, she has kept it a secret from her mom and her family, which is very out of character for her. And, she more than likely did not tell anyone she was pregnant while shopping at a store recently, but if she did, she was probably just kidding or said that because she felt insecure after all the tabloids have been calling her fat.”

  24. PKClover

    You people are all sheep. You believe every rumor that you hear and start tearing it apart as if it were fact. Britney Spears is NOT pregnant. Nor did she chase Kevin down to stop him from piercing the baby’s ear. Try living in the limelight for a day or two and read how much of your life is true, and what is just what sells newspapers and destroys careers.

  25. Jezabel

    Any word yet on who’s the father of this baby?

  26. Jonboy in SF

    Mommy’s stories and Cheetos? You’ve been watching that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa gets fat and is married to Ralph Wiggum, haven’t you? Only you left out the part about momma’s pryin’ stick…

  27. bigfatmomma

    all that she wants is another baby… I hope she finally splits with that douchbag!

  28. NewGuy

    #22

    Hahahaha Funniest dude ever!
    You Rule man… you f*@&ing RULE!!!

  29. spamnews

    PKClover ranted:


    You people are all sheep. You believe every rumor that you hear and start tearing it apart as if it were fact. Britney Spears is NOT pregnant. Nor did she chase Kevin down to stop him from piercing the baby’s ear. Try living in the limelight for a day or two and read how much of your life is true, and what is just what sells newspapers and destroys careers.

    Uh huh. And I’m supposed to feel sorry for the girl who had that hideous old hag Madonna shove her pink oral dick-tickler down her throat on national t.v. as a way of grabbing some more hard-earned publicity, because, you know, she just ‘vants to be left alone’?!?

    Think, just for a moment, about where Madonna’s tongue has been, before that fateful ‘kiss’. Can you keep your lunch down? I can’t.

  30. Devil Is Chrome

    #24 “Try living in the limelight for a day or two …”

    How about trying a little self control while you’re *in* the limelight?

    I mean, just a suggestion…

  31. annily81

    I doubt that we’ll ever be lucky enough that Britney leaves Kevin, but I predict that sometime early in her third trimester he’ll dump her for Paris Hilton.

  32. Hm.

    That didn’t take long.

  33. hafaball

    I am not a number, I’m a human being!!!

    But aside from that, he must have super sperm, more super than thou. at least he has talent somewhere ;D

  34. kfedismybabydaddy

    Oh my god. How fucking stupid can you be, I cant wait untill some trailer skank comes out of bumblefuck tennesee to say k-fed knocked her hillbilly ass up. Brittany would probably just adopt the baby though. God only knows how many children that walking sperm bank has.

  35. My guess, is she figured people were looking at her and thought she was fat so said she was pregnant to explaing the hulking belly that was probably hanging over her out of style Juicy Coutoure Sweats.

  36. Trinitalia

    Wait…she grabbed her belly and announced “That’s right…number 2!” Are you sure she just wasn’t announcing that she had to take a shit?

  37. Optic

    Hahahaha

    Irish twins!!!

    How quaintly 19th century.

  38. cj14mommy

    i heard the same as number 23…and i tend to believe it b/c it’s just not clausible to be pregnant again. she’s just fat and can’t take the time to put down the twinkies and get a personal trainer…

  39. Lynette Carrington

    A few weeks ago I called on all the Supericial mommies to REALLY scrutiznize Brit’s latest picture taken at the mall. Yes, I was right—PREGNANT. Now if you will all pardon me, I need to go get an LA-sized scrub brush and some 409 and go help Unicef as we attempt to sanitize the gene pool after this latest announcement.

  40. HughJorganthethird

    Is she really pregnant or did she just eat someone elses baby and is pretending it “lives” in her stomach?

  41. playahater101

    When are these women going to stop letting KFed reproduce?

    Then again, this would be the magic number. Two kids with Shar, 2 with Britney. Should be about time to move on to bigger and better things! And by bigger and better, I mean richer and dumber.

  42. Seamus Begonia Smell

    einstein had kids! one of his wives was his cousin…so much for being a “genius”

  43. Cletus Junior.

    Maybe?

  44. Wild Rose

    PKClover–you presume too much. I can only speak for myself, but I don’t think all of us read something here and automatically take it as the gospel truth–it’s just too much fun to poke fun at the celebrities who have made fools of themselves with their erratic, and in many cases, immoral behaviour. You rarely, if ever, see reputable stars skewered here…because they know how to conduct themselves. But I’ll gladly proclaim it here I have thought Britney has been a media WHORE since she came out with her first video, and it’s only coming back to bite her in her over-sized ass right now. She wants to be left alone, and live her life like a normal stay-at-home mom? Doesn’t happen that way if you have acted like she has in the past–and has profited from it considerably, I might add. I will say this, though–her baby is absolutely adorable.

  45. derekd

    Can you say WASHED UP? How about CAREER OVER? Well she better start practicing cuz it will duely be followed after her name shows up on any media outlet. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

  46. SMF121490

    Well now their little band will be complete. Pa Kevin can play the banjo, ma Britney can sing, Sean can play the moonshine jug, and the new one can play the washboard. YeeeeeeHaaaawwwww

  47. Lynette Carrington

    #46, Wait! Who’s gonna lay down the rhythm slappin’ the spoons? OH NOOOOO…….

  48. Juliette

    Britney is so damn lazy now she figured she might as well get knocked up again so she can justify looking like a trailer trash mama.

  49. ESQ

    Two words: use contraception you stupid hillbilly. What the fuck is WRONG with her? Having more kids is not going to make the marriage better or work. By the time she has her 12th or 13th they will be on welfare all because on a daily basis K-Fucked has to tap MAC and use credit cards in a video store.

  50. Tracy

    I vote not pregnant. We’re voting, right?

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