Britney Spears has written a little post on her official site (the Love B section) dedicated to tigers and their “mysteriousness”. She writes:
“In some ways, people are a lot like animals. I’m mesmerized by tigers. Their eyes, their stripes, their constant quest for survival. They almost have a sense of mysteriousness about them. They pull you in and make it difficult to look away. They make you wonder what is behind their gaze. A sense of eerie awe comes over you in their presence. The fear they give you when you pass them is stunning. Behold the beauty of the tiger.”
This is something a fourth grader would write if they were told to do a report on tigers and were too lazy to do any research. It’s like Britney received her latest issue of Zoobooks and felt inspired to share her new discovery. Only the issue was on elephants. And she was typing on the piano.
Fugurself | July 20, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Didn’t we exhaust ourselves on this fat whale already?
curliegirlie | July 20, 2006 at 1:23 pm
This just shows
HolisticWisdomcom | July 20, 2006 at 1:24 pm
She is immature, it is true. Also, she needs to dump Kevin and get the Fukuoku 9000-
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/
JoBOO | July 20, 2006 at 1:24 pm
FIRST!!!!
JoBOO | July 20, 2006 at 1:25 pm
SH*T — NOT FIRST
tits_on_snack | July 20, 2006 at 1:25 pm
I don’t even know what to say about this.
Fugurself | July 20, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Like I said b4 stupid people always say the most obvious things. Like I called Ticketmaster yesterday and the idiot asked me “what are you calling for?” I said wrong number….I thought this was the line for ordering hot escorts with fake boobs.
At-Law | July 20, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Crap I was almost first but the sign in thing was playing games with me. Man I am pissed. Oh BTW Britney is fat and she sucks wigger pole.
jane's eyre | July 20, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Well it’s refreshing to see that she’s keeping up with her tradition of exemplary parenting, by feeding her unborn baby a steady diet of hallucinogens.
JoBOO | July 20, 2006 at 1:26 pm
I dont care what any of u say. I’d still hit that…
At-Law | July 20, 2006 at 1:27 pm
Crap I was almost first but the sign in thing was playing games with me. Man I am pissed. Oh BTW Britney is fat and she sucks wigger pole.
curliegirlie | July 20, 2006 at 1:27 pm
i don’t understand why this is the only thing that was posted today. isn’t there more important gossip to discuss. please who ever runs this site, can you stop being lazy! give us something entertaining to read, who cares about what britney spears wrote on her website, if we wanted to know we would go there and find out for ourselfs. this is so boring
scoos | July 20, 2006 at 1:27 pm
Why are the dumbest people always rewarded with vast sums of money and opportunity?
She and everyone like her makes me sad.
okiedoke | July 20, 2006 at 1:27 pm
I wish the baby would grow up a little already. Maybe then his features wouldn’t be “baby mannequin.”
Sir Psycho Sexy | July 20, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Shitney writes bad tiger prose, and why should we care?
The SF writers have proven that TC isn’t the only one who LTC.
Joy | July 20, 2006 at 1:29 pm
hahaha I think she is trying to be “deep”. But instead, her very own “useless as shit” stripes shone through… on the other hand, I have a second theory… she comments on their “stripes” after looking at her own stretch marks, the “quest for survival” represents what her poor child must go through everyday, and their eyes? well, straight up… that is about looking into K-Feds eyes wondering how the fuck her life went so wrong – She convinces herself though that this “tiger” is her life… but that it’s actually good…
Getitstraight | July 20, 2006 at 1:29 pm
The Superficial Guy is either on holiday, lazy or just getting B-O-R-I-N-G. There is never any new shit it’s just leftover crap from other sites. Piss or get off the pot dude.
jrzmommy | July 20, 2006 at 1:29 pm
In some ways, people are a lot like animals… We breathe, they breathe. We eat, they eat. We tinkle, they tinkle…….SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
Fugurself | July 20, 2006 at 1:30 pm
I think Zidane should head butt Britney for being so dumb.
SoftBlueGlow | July 20, 2006 at 1:31 pm
Zidane should definately head butt Britney for being so dumb!
http://www.VeryLiberating.com
EastCoastE30 | July 20, 2006 at 1:33 pm
maybe that’s what drew her to k-fed: his raw, animal magnetism.
jrzmommy | July 20, 2006 at 1:34 pm
“A sense of eerie awe comes over you in their presence. The fear they give you when you pass them is stunning” Yeah it’s called Fuck I hope this thing doesn’t maul me. She should ask Siegried and Roy about the eerie feeling one gets when being mauled by a fucking tiger.
joker13 | July 20, 2006 at 1:34 pm
Boring!
bigponie | July 20, 2006 at 1:34 pm
the SF guy musta got the quote wrong, “Behold the beauty of the tiger.”
should be “Behold the beauty of the cock.”
guest1234567 | July 20, 2006 at 1:36 pm
#24, this is not about Tom Cruise.
TatorTot | July 20, 2006 at 1:37 pm
Er, we knew this already.
Proteon | July 20, 2006 at 1:38 pm
Rich + home with child + one in oven = bored. What the hell do you expect an essay on Bukowski?
sometimesboy | July 20, 2006 at 1:38 pm
um, right…like she owns a piano…
francesfarmer | July 20, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Jesus will this chick ever shut up?? She must think that dying her hair black and writing “introspective” poems will help her image. If she was intelligent at all she would either kill herself or just live her life in hiding. Then we’d all be happy and move on with our lives and forget she ever existed. Whoops I mean her words really touched me, now I will stop laughing at her expense and maybe the press will back off. Crazy cuntry whore.
bigponie | July 20, 2006 at 1:46 pm
#25 huh, are you insinuating that brit doesn’t LTC.
Italian Stallion | July 20, 2006 at 1:49 pm
I grew up right next to the Baltimore Zoo (which could be the name for any area in Baltimore but I’m actually talking about the place with animals) and I used to sneak in at night when they were closed and have sex with the tigers. They do pull you in and make it hard to look away so she was right about that. Please don’t judge me for sleeping with the tigers, I fucked some female monkeys too, but that was in Downtown Baltimore…………………
Doxes | July 20, 2006 at 1:49 pm
If she finds tigers so hypnotically fascinating, maybe we’ll get lucky and one at the zoo will hypnotize her into climbing over the fence.
Doxes | July 20, 2006 at 1:50 pm
And again, someone is in my head …
francesfarmer | July 20, 2006 at 1:52 pm
Reading over it again…it sounds like she’s been drinking too much of Madonna’s stale Kabbalah water
endometriorama | July 20, 2006 at 1:53 pm
#27 – I would kill to read Britney’s essay on Bukowski! Tales of ordinary madness indeed.
And to all the people slamming the Superficial guy – yes, some of the stories are boring. But some of us don’t peruse every fucking celebrity gossip site around.
twzzlrgirl | July 20, 2006 at 1:59 pm
I’m almost starting to feel sorry for this hormonal nutcase. If I was pregnant with my second child by that freak of a husband, I’d be rambling about stupid crap too.
Icognito79 | July 20, 2006 at 1:59 pm
Erm, does she feet her kid cheetos for breakfast? And lunch? And dinner? At least try baked Brit Brit.
http://wobblybitsgirl.blogspot.com/
SpecialAgentWind | July 20, 2006 at 2:01 pm
#35 Amen to the people with nothing to do. But hey, at least they aren’t bashing Jrzmommie.
I wonder if Brits opening night comeback will be on the Jerry Springer stage. “I am ugly dumb and married to a jackass tour.”
y3n0 | July 20, 2006 at 2:03 pm
She’s prolly auditioning for a Rocky XI soundtrack—Eye of the Mysterious Tiger?
MyWellRehearsedMistake | July 20, 2006 at 2:11 pm
What is wrong with her? – she has the education of a child – i imagine if you had to interview her you would feel like your brain was dribbling out of your ears… I guess this is what you get when your stuck at home with a baby and K-fed’s off dancing with strippers in vegas.
I liked “a sense of eerie awe” – so vague. and points for the use of the word “behold”.
Oh and to #4 and #8 NO ONE cares if you are first or not. You sound as stupid as Brit.
twzzlrgirl | July 20, 2006 at 2:14 pm
Mr. Superfish was right about the Zoobooks — this month only you get a free Tiger poster and stickers with a subscription. My God! She does have the brain power of a preschooler! (that’s actually more than I gave her credit for…)
BoognishRising | July 20, 2006 at 2:22 pm
Maybe someone should airlift her fat, cheeto-loving ass into the tiger cage at the zoo so she can have a better look at one. Preferably she would be bound and gagged and rolled around in raw meat first.
IFuckingHateYou | July 20, 2006 at 2:24 pm
The really sad part is that the stupid cunt was watching a rerun of “The Brady Bunch” and was writing about Tiger the dog.
andrewthezeppo | July 20, 2006 at 2:35 pm
I think she’s trying to be “deep” and “poetic”, but she doesn’t really understand literature.
The tiger is meerly a poor choice of topic, like one an 8 year old would pick to write their first “creative writing” piece on
PapaHotNuts | July 20, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Penguins intrigue me. Their long legs and beautiful colors. Their eyes tell a story of pain and hatred, revealing paths of impotence usually reserved for great warrior beasts. I am soothed by their gentle song and ravaged by the dirt on which they consume the hearts of sheepish lions. They walk with dignity, and only perish when the night bellows for whom the sun tolls. I crave the honesty of this mighty bird, wavering only when midnight creeps into my pulsating soul. Behold the power and might of infinity, for it is the guiding light in a world infected by the sounds of impotence and desire. For this I weep, but I know tomorrow holds the key of a new beginning and a fresh ending, embracing the turmoil of my exixtence. Hence, the penguin’s beautiful death.
-PapaHotNuts and Brittany Spears, 2006
IFuckingHateYou | July 20, 2006 at 2:38 pm
Papa, you shouldn’t be spreading that wonderful prose for free. Get Britney to pay you a few million for it so she can post it on her site and make all those 12 year-old girls pay to read it!
jrzmommy | July 20, 2006 at 2:43 pm
Papa, that was EARTHMOVING!
Bambella | July 20, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Maybe for her first show back we could send her to Vegas and have a herd of Zigfield and Roys’ tigers eat her as part of her new road show in the Celine Dion Theatre… but then that would be mean to the tigers.
UNWASHEDMASSES | July 20, 2006 at 2:57 pm
She’s obviously relating K-Fag to a tiger, another lame ass excuse for staying with the fucker. It’s a poor example even for one of such limited intellectual capabilities as Brit. In the wild, tigers are wonderful parents who provide for their young and nurture them until maturity. Contrast that with K-Fag, who leaves one woman 8 months along to be with another, neglects his children with Shar, neglects Sean Preston and Brit to hang out in nightclubs with his boyz, and who’s stripes consist of cornrows and skid marks. One can only hope that K-Fag chooses to emulate the tiger in one respect and not eat his young.
penguinwaddle | July 20, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Her kid already has cellulite.