Britney Spears is not a federal case

February 27th, 2008 // 33 Comments

It’s apparently legal day on The Superficial. New York attorney John Eardley was shut down yesterday in his attempts to prove Britney Spears is being held captive and that her conservatorship case should be heard by a federal judge. No one could figure out what angle this guy was working, but it obviously didn’t work. People reports:

“Mr. Eardley fails to explain why he can bring this claim for her in the first instance. He cannot,” Gutierrez said in his three-page ruling. “Mr. Eardley had no authority to remove the case from state court. He is neither a party nor a defendant. While he claims to be Ms. Spears’s attorney, the probate court … found that she was incapable of retaining her own counsel.”

Britney Spears’ legal conundrum is so ridiculous that the judge could file a ruling stating, “So I communicated to Mr. Eardley ‘Dude, what the fuck? Your shit makes no sense and I ain’t got time for no jibber-jabber.’” This once again proves that Mr. T should handle any and all legal cases so I’m entertained and get to watch fools be pitied. The defense rests and will now eat a Pop Tart if it pleases the court.

Photos: Splash News

  1. gumby182

    is that a wedding ring?

  2. BunnyButt

    I think we could make a federal case about how badly that blouse fits …

  3. D. Richards

    A judge actually had to rule that Britney Spears debacled life isn’t important enough to be taken to Federal court?


  4. PowerA

    There’re too many troubles with britney. Just learned she is looking for someone at the celeb singles site Not sure if she has already prepared for the new relationships.

  5. meh

    She shouldn’t be allowed to dress herself anymore. It’s becoming vomit worthy…though I could just be getting more sensitive to my stomach…naaaaaaahhhhhhh….it’s vomit worthy.

  6. lipper

    That bitch stole my 8 year olds top again! *shakes fist*

  7. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    is she wearing her mouseketeer ears? oh wait, that’s her hair.

  8. morga

    I can’t even begin to explain that sunglass situation.

  9. Racer X

    She has nice thighs for a white girl.

    /for reals yo!

  10. And the judge didn’t award atty fees to Britney’s father. THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS. Anyone can bilk anyone for $40,000 (that’s outrageous, too).

    And yes, I’m with BunnyButt and the others: bad, bad top.

  11. Auntie Kryst

    What’s Esquival doing in pics 2-4? I hope it’s making some groovy latin music that I can enjoy with my martini.

  12. icecreem

    Why the fuk does she keeps putting that red lipstick on… its horrible… without it she looks pretty thant she puts it on and she looks like a cheap hooker

  13. MMB

    her skin looks gorgeous…not at all meth-y

  14. Spazz

    Nice blueblockers. WTF are those glasses? Skank.

  15. lisa

    she looks good in these pictures.. for being britney.

  16. RENEE

    What is this, has-beens sex symbol day??? First Pam, now Britney. So who’s aging worse, Pam or Britney? I know Pam is older, but I would still go with Pam. She looks like an old, roughed up road whore. Must be the whole hep thing and waaay too much sun.

  17. Gerald_Tarrant

    Who is the new dude? Looks like a Manny but without kids why would she need one. He doesn’t fit the terrorist profile so he couldn’t be a new boyfriend or manager.

    I can’t see her shoes, bets on whether she has on the boots?

  18. D. Richards (Slob.)

    Where’s goddamn Frist at?

  19. Not a Federal Case? C’mmon! Looks a the shit she
    wears everday.

    Where are her tan boots? She hasnt’ worn them in
    two hours, I miss them.

    Digital artist and designer Geoff Brandeis-Burton’s
    t-shirt collections available exclusively here:

  20. poop

    She should stop wearing that red lipstick. She looks insane.

  21. The Honorable John G. Roberts

    I previously stated that I do not want this weak shit in the federal system. Britney Spears is not our problem.

    The US Marshall Service is HEREBY ORDERED that if she tries to cross state lines and make it a federal issue SHOOT TO KILL,

    If her lame-ass attorney or any bozo claiming to be her lame ass attorney files anything with her name on it in any federal court SHOOT TO KILL

    And on general principles find that shit-dribble-bearded leach Lufti and SHOOT TO KILL.

    John G Roberts
    Chief Justice
    United States Supreme Court

  22. noneyobeezwax

    yeah, fuck the feds, this shit needs to go straight to the U.N. she needs to be charged with crimes against humanity. this isn’t a U.S. problem, this is a global problem.

  23. Anonymous

    Auntie Kryst:

    You know who Esquivel is? I’m pleasantly surprised.

  24. Hecubus

    Oh yeah I remember this chick, used to be a singer or something, right ?

  25. gotmilk?

    whoah hold it…did she wash her hair?

  26. Gerald_Tarrant

    #23 – Anon, Esquivel was never douchey enough to hang out with Brit. I wouldn’t be shocked to hear her rip his stuff off though. Maybe she will claim this guy is Esquivel and say he gave permission to use his works.

  27. Italian Stallion

    Wouldn’t it be great if she flipped out and killed K-Fag and got life in prison? Instead of bars they can put her behind glass so we could visit and point and laugh…………….

  28. Grunion

    Nice to see the jowels are back. Not to mention the ten-head. At what point does a receding hariline become female patern baldness (FPB)?

  29. FCS

    Britney’s dad dresses her funny.

  30. Mick

    “the probate court … found that she was incapable of retaining her own counsel.”

    not to mention feces.

  31. Auntie Kryst

    @23 Thanks Anon. Despite all evidence to the contrary, sometimes I’m not a complete cretin.

  32. There’re too many troubles with britney. Just learned she is looking for someone at the celeb singles site ~~~. Not sure if she has already prepared for the new relationships.

  33. kate

    Has anybody hear about Pop Fiction. This show on E! Its going to be on air March 9th at 10:30 et/pt. If anybody knows about it let me know. Also ive seen these. This show is going to be good. It has to be its so secretive. Ive been hearing crazy rumors about it too!! Heres the link



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