Britney Spears is not a federal case

February 27th, 2008 // 33 Comments

It’s apparently legal day on The Superficial. New York attorney John Eardley was shut down yesterday in his attempts to prove Britney Spears is being held captive and that her conservatorship case should be heard by a federal judge. No one could figure out what angle this guy was working, but it obviously didn’t work. People reports:

“Mr. Eardley fails to explain why he can bring this claim for her in the first instance. He cannot,” Gutierrez said in his three-page ruling. “Mr. Eardley had no authority to remove the case from state court. He is neither a party nor a defendant. While he claims to be Ms. Spears’s attorney, the probate court … found that she was incapable of retaining her own counsel.”

Britney Spears’ legal conundrum is so ridiculous that the judge could file a ruling stating, “So I communicated to Mr. Eardley ‘Dude, what the fuck? Your shit makes no sense and I ain’t got time for no jibber-jabber.’” This once again proves that Mr. T should handle any and all legal cases so I’m entertained and get to watch fools be pitied. The defense rests and will now eat a Pop Tart if it pleases the court.

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Comments (33)

  1. gumby182 | February 27, 2008 at 10:44 am

    is that a wedding ring?

    Reply
  2. BunnyButt | February 27, 2008 at 10:45 am

    I think we could make a federal case about how badly that blouse fits …

    Reply
  3. D. Richards | February 27, 2008 at 10:50 am

    A judge actually had to rule that Britney Spears debacled life isn’t important enough to be taken to Federal court?

    Wow.

    Reply
  4. PowerA | February 27, 2008 at 10:52 am

    There’re too many troubles with britney. Just learned she is looking for someone at the celeb singles site millionairecupid.com. Not sure if she has already prepared for the new relationships.

    Reply
  5. meh | February 27, 2008 at 10:53 am

    She shouldn’t be allowed to dress herself anymore. It’s becoming vomit worthy…though I could just be getting more sensitive to my stomach…naaaaaaahhhhhhh….it’s vomit worthy.

    Reply
  6. lipper | February 27, 2008 at 10:53 am

    That bitch stole my 8 year olds top again! *shakes fist*

    Reply
  7. Sambo the Ass Pirate | February 27, 2008 at 10:55 am

    is she wearing her mouseketeer ears? oh wait, that’s her hair.

    Reply
  8. morga | February 27, 2008 at 11:01 am

    I can’t even begin to explain that sunglass situation.

    Reply
  9. Racer X | February 27, 2008 at 11:02 am

    She has nice thighs for a white girl.

    /for reals yo!

    Reply
  10. Giggles | February 27, 2008 at 11:04 am

    And the judge didn’t award atty fees to Britney’s father. THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS. Anyone can bilk anyone for $40,000 (that’s outrageous, too).

    And yes, I’m with BunnyButt and the others: bad, bad top.

    Reply
  11. Auntie Kryst | February 27, 2008 at 11:09 am

    What’s Esquival doing in pics 2-4? I hope it’s making some groovy latin music that I can enjoy with my martini.

    Reply
  12. icecreem | February 27, 2008 at 11:14 am

    Why the fuk does she keeps putting that red lipstick on… its horrible… without it she looks pretty thant she puts it on and she looks like a cheap hooker

    Reply
  13. MMB | February 27, 2008 at 11:18 am

    her skin looks gorgeous…not at all meth-y

    Reply
  14. Spazz | February 27, 2008 at 11:24 am

    Nice blueblockers. WTF are those glasses? Skank.

    Reply
  15. lisa | February 27, 2008 at 11:32 am

    she looks good in these pictures.. for being britney.

    Reply
  16. RENEE | February 27, 2008 at 11:35 am

    What is this, has-beens sex symbol day??? First Pam, now Britney. So who’s aging worse, Pam or Britney? I know Pam is older, but I would still go with Pam. She looks like an old, roughed up road whore. Must be the whole hep thing and waaay too much sun.

    Reply
  17. Gerald_Tarrant | February 27, 2008 at 11:42 am

    Who is the new dude? Looks like a Manny but without kids why would she need one. He doesn’t fit the terrorist profile so he couldn’t be a new boyfriend or manager.

    I can’t see her shoes, bets on whether she has on the boots?

    Reply
  18. D. Richards (Slob.) | February 27, 2008 at 11:44 am

    Where’s goddamn Frist at?

    Reply
  19. Geoff | February 27, 2008 at 11:45 am

    Not a Federal Case? C’mmon! Looks a the shit she
    wears everday.

    Where are her tan boots? She hasnt’ worn them in
    two hours, I miss them.


    Digital artist and designer Geoff Brandeis-Burton’s
    t-shirt collections available exclusively here:

    http://www.cafepress.com/teepod/.

    Reply
  20. poop | February 27, 2008 at 11:48 am

    She should stop wearing that red lipstick. She looks insane.

    Reply
  21. The Honorable John G. Roberts | February 27, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    I previously stated that I do not want this weak shit in the federal system. Britney Spears is not our problem.

    The US Marshall Service is HEREBY ORDERED that if she tries to cross state lines and make it a federal issue SHOOT TO KILL,

    If her lame-ass attorney or any bozo claiming to be her lame ass attorney files anything with her name on it in any federal court SHOOT TO KILL

    And on general principles find that shit-dribble-bearded leach Lufti and SHOOT TO KILL.

    John G Roberts
    Chief Justice
    United States Supreme Court

    Reply
  22. noneyobeezwax | February 27, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    yeah, fuck the feds, this shit needs to go straight to the U.N. she needs to be charged with crimes against humanity. this isn’t a U.S. problem, this is a global problem.

    Reply
  23. Anonymous | February 27, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    Auntie Kryst:

    You know who Esquivel is? I’m pleasantly surprised.

    Reply
  24. Hecubus | February 27, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    Oh yeah I remember this chick, used to be a singer or something, right ?

    Reply
  25. gotmilk? | February 27, 2008 at 12:34 pm

    whoah hold it…did she wash her hair?

    Reply
  26. Gerald_Tarrant | February 27, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    #23 – Anon, Esquivel was never douchey enough to hang out with Brit. I wouldn’t be shocked to hear her rip his stuff off though. Maybe she will claim this guy is Esquivel and say he gave permission to use his works.

    Reply
  27. Italian Stallion | February 27, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    Wouldn’t it be great if she flipped out and killed K-Fag and got life in prison? Instead of bars they can put her behind glass so we could visit and point and laugh…………….

    Reply
  28. Grunion | February 27, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    Nice to see the jowels are back. Not to mention the ten-head. At what point does a receding hariline become female patern baldness (FPB)?

    Reply
  29. FCS | February 27, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    Britney’s dad dresses her funny.

    Reply
  30. Mick | February 27, 2008 at 1:47 pm

    “the probate court … found that she was incapable of retaining her own counsel.”

    not to mention feces.

    Reply
  31. Auntie Kryst | February 27, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    @23 Thanks Anon. Despite all evidence to the contrary, sometimes I’m not a complete cretin.

    Reply
  32. cora | February 27, 2008 at 9:21 pm

    There’re too many troubles with britney. Just learned she is looking for someone at the celeb singles site ~~~~Tallmingle.com ~~~. Not sure if she has already prepared for the new relationships.

    Reply
  33. kate | February 28, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    Has anybody hear about Pop Fiction. This show on E! Its going to be on air March 9th at 10:30 et/pt. If anybody knows about it let me know. Also ive seen these. This show is going to be good. It has to be its so secretive. Ive been hearing crazy rumors about it too!! Heres the link

    http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/popfiction/index.jsp

    CHAOS IS COMING. POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

    o HOLLYWOOD ARMAGEDDON.  RESISTANCE FUTILE.  POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

    Reply

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