Britney Spears is going bald

March 9th, 2006 // 38 Comments

britney-bald.jpgBritney Spears is so stressed about her pop comeback her hair is falling out. Reports claim that Britney is wearing huge hats to cover her thinning hair line. One source said:

‘It looks like the poor poppet is suffering from stress-related alopecia. The real cause of her thinning hair is her constant fretting about getting slim and developing a new look for her return to pop.”

In less than one year, Kevin Federline has made Britney fat, annoying, and now bald. Although I guess I should take some responsibility for putting the pressure on her to thin down. Calling somebody a beached whale might not be the self-esteem booster I thought it was.



  1. one more thing she has in common with my own boyfriend.

  2. LRo9

    It’s also common to lose lots of hair about 6 months after giving birth because of post-pregnancy hormones, but definitely not so much hair that you go bald! Yuck. I can’t wait to see what she’ll look like when the balding is complete. If I knew how to use photoshop, I would make a picture of it. HINT HINT…

  3. CheekyChops

    LRo9, I do think you’d be doing a service by photoshopping her bald so that the world won’t be too shocked when it actually happens. Link please.

  4. suzy

    lol, well maybe if she stopped coloring her hair so many times… and always getting extentions…

    i always wondered why the hell she cut her hair if she was always gonna get extentions to cover it up? LET IT GROW!!!

    jeez… oh and pretty soon christina aguilera will be going baled… she’s died her hair more times than who knows what!

  5. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I believe this site single-handedly is causing the bulk of Britney’s stress-related ugliness. How could you do this to Louisiana’s sexiest export? Really, that’s the best we can do. For shame, editors, for shame.

  6. Lynette Carrington

    And EXACTLY how many hints does Brit need to get rid of K-Fed? It’s time he becomes K-Fed-EX.

  7. Chica44

    Here’s what she would look like bald. Too bad this is also a pick of her when she was thin, but you get the point.

  8. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Ho ho, Lynette Carrington, you slay me

  9. Topaz Vamp

    What the hell’s a poppet?

  10. Tania

    I wonder if her pubic hair is falling out too? She’ll go from a shag rug to hardwood floors without the pain of waxing!

    Ugh, I can’t believe I’m jealous of someone who’s balding.

  11. Zanna

    “constant fretting about getting slim”…..okay…I thought she was pregnant again? I don’t think making a pregnant comeback is going to be hot.

  12. booface

    nice cameltoe in the bald picture.

  13. SuperSpence

    If a girl wants to lose her pubic hair that’s perfectly acceptable. Losing hair on top of her head, however, is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated in any polite society.

    Get thee to a nunnery, you balding fatass!

  14. sophiecatrupertjerk

    Wow – a pregnant and bald comeback. Now that’s hot!

    Also, nice cameltoe in the bald picture. Maybe K-Fed should go for her ass, after all, it is the other vagina.

  15. drinkthebones

    Calling somebody a beached whale might not be the self-esteem booster I thought it was.

    ^^ well now, i don’t know. i definitely felt better after you said it.

  16. playahater101

    I think God is telling her to leave K-fed. Maybe the stress of having a cheating husband is having that effect. Her and Kelly Osborne should swap balding remedies.

  17. Zed

    The bald head will go nicely with the unwashed hair, bulging tummy (preggers or not), and obviously-not-put-together-by-a-stylist way of dressing.

    Hey, she’s already hit rock bottom–what can a little baldness do to make her look worse?

    Embrace the baldness, Britney. Embrace it. It’s so … you.

  18. Doc

    ive pretty much lost all hope of her ever being hot again… a sad day for us all, but it was nice while it lasted… is there any pop star out there thats actually getting better looking??? I guess maybe Kelly Clarkson?

  19. Jayne

    first Kelly Osbourne and now Britney :(

    Sad times.

  20. Georgia


    I will never be sick of hearing about Britney’s misfortunes.

    I’m usually a nice person, but she deserves everything she gets for torturing me through out high school with her “music” and slutty appearance.

    I hope all of the guys who were busy pleasuring themselves to her image are happy now.

  21. miadm2002

    Who cares? She’s fat, stupid, trampy and now she’s going bald. Thanks for small favors, now maybe she won’t think she can sing either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. CantBeANun

    Are you kidding me? You tend to lose quite a bit of hair after having a baby. The “reports” say she is going bald, of course that is what the “reports” say because it makes a story. No one cares to hear about hair falling out due to post-pregnancy hormones

    Give the girl a break already

  23. Kimbo

    I’m not even gonna lie[I know this is totally evil], while all the stories on The Superficial make me smile, this one actually made me all warm and tingly inside: HAPPY.
    *Being married to K-Fed.
    *Being compared to a beached-whale.
    *Apparently,always eating Cheeto’s according to this site, lol.
    *And now balding?
    Who would’ve guessed this would’ve been her life a few short years ago? =D

  24. andrewthezeppo

    I still can’t believe it took this long for everybody to realize she’s not attractive whithout extentions, professional make up, lighting and photo touch-ups.

    Years ago, like the Ooops I did it Again era she was already hedious when not spackled with make-up and pounds of fake hair. But at least she used to have a nice body.

  25. BoardBetty

    #10 – try chemotherapy. You’ll be hair-free in no time with little to no pain whatsoever!

  26. gogoboots

    I didn’t know women that young could go bald, except Kelly Osbourne, but that’s from dyeing your hair a million times in the last year or so. Brits needs to get over the comeback and getting fat and just retire. There’s plenty of other female popstars who suck that can take her place…there’s like an assembly-line machine that just pops ‘em right out…!

  27. VinSlayer

    Call me crazy, but it kind of makes me feel bad for her. Damn, she just had a kid, she shouldn’t be expected to be slim immediately. On the flip side, her hill billy trailer trash ass should have the common courtesy of saving us all from seeing her fat post-pregnancy ass in a freakin’ bikini. Have some common sense!

  28. christee

    after the last few weeks, should have a page each for shitney and parisite (downward spiral, anyone?). it’s gonna be ok, brit…duckboy still loves you!

  29. That’s all that salt water making her hair fall out you know she is trash, she doesn’t wash her hair, looks like a slob, maybe she can go on the Maury show and get a makeover and Rogaine might donate her some products for them to endorse for them for her baldness?

  30. HughJorganthethird

    Fat, Pale, Bitchy, Smelly and Bald. K-Fed is a lucky dude.

  31. NaughtyBits74

    “her return to pop” <—why does she have to come back? who misses her? And why is she worrying about hairloss? There is such a thing as hair pieces and extensions…many of which I know she’s worn on many ocassions.

  32. cheetaqueen

    hardwood floors are beautiful, shes not. You cant put her in the same context as hardwood floors.

    “”"”I wonder if her pubic hair is falling out too? She’ll go from a shag rug to hardwood floors without the pain of waxing”"”

  33. dodah1

    A return to what? She’s over. Someone really should tell her that by now. Seriously.

  34. mykerocker1

    i think its sad when people pick on celebrities. they are still people. i guess it makes people who feel bad about themselves feel better. britney spears just had a baby and my sister had problems losing her baby weight too, its normal. u can alugh at her but people could be saying the same stuff as you. i think shes trying hard to look good so give it a rest. nasty coments can hurt people

  35. mykerocker1

    she will return buddyjust wait. if you were famous how would ya’ll feel about seeing this if it was about you

  36. my2centsthatsall

    I had a baby 4 months ago, I going bald too!! I finally have something in common with the girl!!!! : (

    My children use car seats!!!!!

  37. she will look cute after getting bald

  38. dear john dvd

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