Britney Spears is desperate

March 14th, 2006 // 56 Comments

12:00 – smear picture of Brad Pitt with glazed donuts. 12:01 – Britney Spears bursts into room, sweating and gasping for breath (“me want sweeties! sweeeeetieeesss…*breaks off into garbled snorting, drooling*). Either that or someone let a walrus into the local frame shop. You know what I’d like to frame? Her tongue. I’d put it in a museum where little kids could poke it (“eww, it smells like cheetos and pubes”).

Thanks to Kim for the tip.


  1. Angelina is SO going to kick her ass for this one…And frankly, I’d pay to see that fight.

  2. annadisaster

    She looks like she’s laid in the sun and let one side of her face get sunburnt.
    Either that, or she just has a bad bruise on her forehead.

  3. booface

    Her tongue smells like pubes??? That’s the grossest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m gagging.

  4. Frame the tongue? Why not just frame the pubes stuck between her teeth? “Belonged to the artist formerly know as K-Fed.”

  5. memichelle77

    That Brad Pitt may be hot, but he’s no K-Fed.

  6. hafaball

    So, she eats pubes? I guess when you’re hungry, grab a pube. And I can’t believe it, well actually I can, but I’m more attracted to Brad Pitt then her…there’s only so much a man can do to keep his straightness.

  7. Why do you have a picture up of my old Cafeteria Lunch lady licking a poster?

  8. TeamLacheyRools

    anyone notice shes not wearing a wedding ring? Is this because a) her fatness has spread to her fingers and it wont fit or b)(and this is the ne we’re praying for) she has kicked the little termite known as Kfed into touch? What happened Britters? You can take the girl outta the white trash but you cant take the white trash outta the girl. Sad, but true.

  9. c1ndy

    It’s obviously a craving relating to her pregnancy.

  10. xaputa


    I hope she goes nuts like mariah.

  11. blueballs

    What’s up with these scum sucking stars and their fugly Elton John inspired sun glasses. I wish I owned a few trailer parks cuz I’d hire Brittney as my spokeswoman

  12. Grphdesi23

    These stories becoming more and more boring each day………..

  13. lysistrata11

    Does this not look photo-shopped to anyone else?

  14. LinguisticAnthro

    That looks like it was Photoshopped.

  15. LinguisticAnthro

    #13, great minds think alike. And simultaneously. :)

  16. Even if it is photoshopped, the fact remains that she made this ridiculous pose…For some reason I find this picture disgustingly erotic.

  17. christee

    i think it’s photoshopped, too. you can see a reflection behind brad, and it ain’t shitney’s.

  18. mamacita

    #1 Fatty

    I do believe you’re right. Angelina will do some damn jujitsu on her ass. When she’s done, she’ll be all “Now what???!!! Biyatch!!!”

    I saw those pictures on another, I think-and there were more than one and there were different poses. I think they’re real. She’s standing outside of a store window and doing that.

  19. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed

    It isn’t photoshopped (and why would someone). You can see the reflection of her shoulder in the glass on the lower right. Furthermore, Bahahahahahaha. “Me want sweeties!”

  20. Photoshopped or not, what was Brad thinking when he chose to wear Hammer pants?

  21. christee

    i noticed the shoulder after. time for an optometrist visit!

  22. christee

    maybe licking this poster is her fat-loss secret? doesn’t seem to be working…

  23. aimatcha

    Britney’s a lesbian now? Salivating over a poster of a woman with facial hair.

  24. PKClover

    Not photoshopped. Just being silly our little Brit. Glad to see stars really are just like us. I have the same picture of me doing that to Colin Firth. But it’s really him. And then I was slapped with the restraining order.

  25. Mary45

    Slap some dark hair on that bitch and she could be Gene Simmons daughter… (SORRY Gene!!)

  26. Swordman

    Hmmm Cow girl or girl cow, you make the call

  27. Swordman


  28. Swordman

    Once a month, the majestic Slothbritney migrates from the bedroom to the bathroom. If you look closely, you can guess its age by counting the fat rings.

  29. ESQ

    This is the type of behavior you would see from prepubescent teenage girls. Now real women just go home pull out the toys and fantasize about their icons.

    Britney it is time to grow up. Chances are your kids will mature faster than you.

  30. lysistrata11

    #2-It does look like a bruise. Maybe someone (or even herself) finally worked up the nerve to slap her silly for marrying that freak of nature.

  31. Tha-Flash

    She ain’t desperate!

  32. Grphdesi23

    If she’s going to drool over Brad Pitt, she should have at least put up a better picture.

    Long haired Brad Pitt= skank.

  33. lysistrata11

    Oh my goodness, you’re right. It isn’t photo-shopped. You can see a reflection of her tank top also in the picture of Brad. *Shutters* That means that someone actually finds him attractive with that crazy hair and those ridiculous pants. Eww.

    And by the way, where is Duckboy during the embarrassing pictures of Britney? ;)

  34. Mooooooo, this cow is sooo tired.

  35. mamadough

    God, if i were brad pitt, i’d be feeling pretty embarrassed right now. knowing that a landward sea cow has her tongue anywhere near my non-real-just-a-picture crotch. blah! (cringes)

  36. Is there some award for Most Public Retard? I mean, one thing about her is she never fails to amaze with the depths of her moronic behavior. She should take class lessons from that paragon of good taste Kate Moss. You know damn well Britney uses a common silver-plated jimmyjane orgasm-inducer ($225.00 retail, Home Depot), not the limited edition, gold-plated exclusive the posh Ms. Moss rides. Those classy Europeans best us yet again! Oh, to be a European! Why, God, Why?

  37. LoneWolf

    This particular shot may not be photostopped, but you can bet that a pose like that will be photostopped in the future. We’re going to see pictures of Britney with everything from Cheetos to an ejaculating penis in her mouth.

    Every time I think I can’t be any more amazed by her stupidity, she raises the bar. WTF was she thinking?

  38. gogoboots

    EW! Cheetos and pubes? What will you guys think of next…

  39. PandoraKnight

    Poor Britney. I feel bad for her. She’s not fat, or disgusting, or a slut or anything else people want to label her. She’s just trying to make it and she let some loser take her down a few pegs. I know many many girls who have done the same in hopes of having Mr. Right but end up with Mr. Retard. And now she’s producing offspring from him. If I had to live with the KFED I would be licking pictures of Brad (ok Angelina) too.

  40. reesestet

    I believe that picture was taken back in the nineties around the time Brad did Legends of the Fall. Damn he was sooo hot.
    I didn’t even notice Brit was in the picture. If I was married to that greasy loser I would be masturbating to Brad Pitt photos, too. Hell, I would be masturbating to Carrot-Top for that matter.

  41. Come to think of it – this is truly a sign she’s done. It’s a total downgrade from when she could pull a still-hot Colin Farrell and could do that to him for real.

  42. asmith

    Well, duh. That piece of paper is smarter and more useful than her husband…

  43. These people are ON DRUGS. Am i the only one who sees this?

  44. mamadough

    if cheetos powder were cocaine, britney would be sniffing it off models asses.

  45. Tania

    Ok, first things first. I’d take Brad even when he looks like this:

    Second: I’m not turning into Kimmie and I’m not Brits #1 fan, but I have to say she’s just being goofy here. She’s made it known for a long time that she loves Brad Pitt. And come on, TONS of people take goofy pictures like this when they visit celebrity wax museums, right? Same basic thing.

  46. DuckBoy

    she’s such a goof, I love her

  47. Her tongue scares me.

  48. Evangelia

    #12..agree :(

    cheeto powder
    cheeto powder
    cheeto powder

    can we find something else to say now?

  49. Dee

    ugh..she is so NOT cute but still better than that crappy pic of bradley….

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