Britney Spears is a sexual harasser

June 9th, 2010 // 60 Comments

Seen here knocking back her hourly quota of Starbucks and Subway, Britney Spears allegedly sexually harassed one of her bodyguards who finally quit after getting tired of trying to make her wear underwear. The Sun reports:

“She was always giving him the come on and he felt if he didn’t reciprocate he could lose his job. He finally handed in his notice last week and is considering legal action.
“She runs round the house naked and yelling at staff. All her guards knew they could be removed if they looked at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for Fernando, she took a liking to him, so he was under more pressure than most. He wanted to be a good security guard and look after her but the situation became unbearable.”
The last straw came when Britney’s dad JAMIE – who is in legal control of her and can hire and fire staff – kicked off after she left her Los Angeles home without underwear.
“Jamie went mental when he saw the pictures and Fernando was made the fall guy. He was not fired but told he was to blame. He had had enough.”

So basically guarding Britney Spears is like babysitting a nympho toddler who keeps trying to bang you. I just assumed that was a given.

UPDATE: This just in…

Dear Internet Website The Superficial,

Your last paragraph was the most elegant combination of words to fall upon this director’s eyes. I do believe I have what you young people refer to as “a boner.”

Bestest Regards,

Roman Polanski

That’s just disturbing.

Photos: Fame

  1. bar room hero

    whiskey – tango

  2. gogo

    the laast!!!!

  3. chupacabra

    she’s so godamned gross.

  4. poopsmith

    haha damn this bitch is insane

  5. Sport

    She ALWAYS looks like such a mess. Its been years since she shaved her dome, hasnt that shit grown back by now? Her nails are always scabby, her glasses suck, she has no style.


    How can you be that rich and yet so damn clueless.

    Not a hot mess – just a MESS.

  6. WhiskeyDust

    Let’s see……….

    Dead Pool…..

    Lindsay……. Britney……..

    Still take Lindsay in a LANDSLIDE.

  7. Beeotch

    From the first two pics, I would swear she is growing a mullet….(an unwashed one that is)

  8. Shabby Knife Fighter

    She’s a multi millionaire.

  9. Master Spook

    I saw it all.

  10. Jen

    that bitch is seriously loony. i kind of feel bad for her. WACK-O. and i agree #5, Sport: its a lost cause now. she’s done for.

  11. chris

    yum, i’l spank that ass

  12. PostmortemG

    Dear Typer Of The Superficial:

    I hereby give you approval to continue throwing together such strange, alchemic combinations as Britney Spears and Roman Polanski. As much as i hate Quentin Tarantino, i must say that your particular brand of postmodernism is actually tolerable. Now toss in just a bit more cruelty, and we´ll all continue to laugh even more.


  13. Darth

    WTF,is this true!?

  14. Hunter

    Are you serious? KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON! You are a fuckin’ adult… GEEEEZ……

  15. RtSS

    This is wrong… California is in economic distress already. We don’t need to have a HAZMAT team following her around mopping up the drizzle she leaves behind, only because she decides to not where panties. For the love of God! These celebrities can get away with anything. Also, the smell of stanky fish must float around her; like that pig-pen character in the Peanuts comics/cartoons. I, imagine, there’s a flock of seagulls that also fly around her trying to get some of those fresh sardines.

  16. joho777

    I’ve always though that Britney was as dumb as a box of rocks.

    But Britney is obviously mental too.

    The article reminds me of Amy Winehouse’s reduced cognitive ability and her morinic conversations and responses to questions. All due to brain damage from crack.

    What is Britney’s excuse?

    Of course you have to have her :bodyguarded” so she doesn’twalk out with her pubes hanging out scaring children and small dogs, she doesn’t marry some geekc who happens to smile at her, and doesn’try to buy the entire Target store and all the cars in the parking lot.

    But considering everything, I think that Papa Joe should turn her loose to live as she wants.

    It might be entertaining for those of us living in L.A. County.

    • jacob's elevator

      I agree, the more I see Britney the more i Suspect Drug abuse, she has all the Symptoms of a drug addict, from her change in looks to her behavior to the way she speaks

  17. G

    “There was something in the air that night. The stars were bright, Fernando.”

  18. Aw c'mon

    Seriously, I feel for the guy. Being a bodyguard is NOT supposed to be a babysitting position. They’re there to make sure no one hurts her, not make sure she’s not flashing her snatch to the world. If shitney is so retarded that she plays these “I’s gonna be-a flashin’ mah snatch ta da world” games, then the bodyguards are in a no win situation; if they attempt to check that she’s wearing underwear, she could easily cry rape or sexual harrassment.

    Btw, I totally believe this story. Remember the reports that came out when she was in the process of trying to get her kids in the custody hearings? The court appointed person who put the report together wrote of how she would walk around the house naked (she’s totally hypersexual), how she smeared dog feces on her couch, etc. Let’s face it, shitney is a total & complete retard; she’s batshit crazy. Anybody that signs up for a bodyguarding gig with her better get used to either puking after seeing her naked or hope they turn gay immediately…

  19. Amanda

    She looks like she smells.

    • BostonFreek

      Amanda I sooooo second you on that. Totally looks like she smells……like fermented cheese and stale beer.

  20. Twizlah

    That last line should win the Pull-It-zer Prize for journalism.

  21. pimp

    i’d cleanse her stinky asshole with my tongue…

  22. Essdee

    @19, and she probably smells like she looks, too.

  23. ROUGH is never having to say you're sorry!

    Some Kevin Costner he is. I and the judge’s response? ‘Dude gimme an effing break will ya’

  24. Anonymous

    He should have spent some time looking at pictures of BS before 2004 and then smashed it.

    Now he’s got no job and sounds gay for bitching about a chick being naked all the time. Who cares if she runs around the house naked? It’s her house,

    How the hell did he he stuck with underwear duty? LOL He must of drawn the short straw.

  25. britney spears, phd

    @#16 (joho777)

    i love the irony of you describing someone as “morinic”…what a dumbshit you are…

  26. Randal's Rectum

    This just in!

    Could that be our sweet little Britney walking down the street, leaving a trail of stardust behind her?

    It most certainly is, and carrying a Jarrod special to boot!

    Randal’s Rectum

  27. cutesy

    awwwwwwww fernando!!!!!
    ALL he wanted to do was to be a GOOD guard!!!!

  28. Jon

    I don’t care. I would take the reins of that hot mess in a heartbeat. You’d still see her in the tabloids but at least she’d be smiling more.

  29. cutesy

    Awwwwwwww Fernando!!!!

    All he wanted was to be a GOOD bodyguard!!!!!!

  30. Corny

    “Unfortunately for Fernando, she took a liking to him”………… yes how unfortunate for Fernando and my favorite line is….”He wanted to be a good security guard…” yes cause isn’t that the ultimate gooooal for young Fernando in life, to be a good security guard. how Hard it must of been for him to see Britney Spears at home naked.

  31. mancuso

    Poor Fernando, barely escaped* The Brit only to stumble headfirst into Da Gaga’s new Albino Catholic Nazi Moe Hispanic Clone Gangbang video.
    No wait, that was Alejandro….
    But there’s a Fernando in it, I’d swear.
    Or was that ABBA?

    Also, Brit was left screaming “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!”

    (*Now, all things said – whydn’t he just bang her good? I mean, come on! It was a classic 80′s B-softcore screenplay situation, why not go with the flow?)

  32. pimp

    how is someone ruled not competent to take care of finances, but perfectly fine to raise children? this country is fucked!

  33. Anon

    It’s not like she’s raising the kids. She has nannies the couple of days they’re with her and the dad raises them.

    Thankfully, although maybe the fact it’s k-fed is the reason your country is fucked.

  34. me

    Do u really think she would have to “harass” bodygaurds hahahahaha she’s britney spears, that guy is an idiot and any1 that would believe his story….poor guy???? I’m lmao

  35. Anon

    Maybe he’s not as hard up as you?

  36. toresen

    who’s the bigger man. the bodyguard who bangs her, or the bodyguard who doesn’t and cries to mommy.

  37. Anonymous

    Twitney: Go away and never come back.

  38. In the late 1990′s this story would have been the stuff of fantasies, now Brit running around nekkid and carrying on like a crazy person is the stuff of nightmares.

  39. jacob's elevator

    OMG i have never laugh so hard before on these sites, not even in the Geekologie,
    This is pure GOLD, everyone’s comments here are HILARIOUS :D

    The ONLY REASON I see for him Complaining is if he is MARRIED, or ENGAGED, or something like that,
    I mean imagine if you have a girlfriend that you love, and then some crazy B!tch is running around asking you to do her?????
    he is gay,
    but he is is single and straight, he is just a Big Puss!!!!! whiny moron,
    he could have gotten laid and thats it, she might even give him a new car or something, i am not saying for him to prostitute himself, but if a girl came up to me and said she wanted to do it and im single, YOU THINK IM GONNA TELL THE POLICE ON HER? and Britney is a Celebrity for god’s sake!!
    i don’t know, Britney is kinda crazy, but she is not that gross, not at all, i have seen way worst girls at the clubs, so she is ok,

  40. Commented on this photo:

    Why do her extensions always look so bad?!

  41. Britney hadn’t sex for a long time probably.

  42. tutugui

    hell, wat’s is the point of eating subway when she’s gonna feed on that pack of chips later?

  43. Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    I like her! She looks good to me here…Nice hair and jeans too.

  44. justinwood

    So britney is in the media once again. Nice to watch her with new issue.

    MCSE courses UK

  45. Nero

    Another one who does like a plate full of penises for breakfast!

  46. Nero

    *Sweet voice* Is this good girl already boss about her own finances?!

  47. el ces

    Umm, why wouldn’t he just tap that?? Thats all she wants.

  48. el ces

    Umm, why not just slip the beef to her?

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