Seen here knocking back her hourly quota of Starbucks and Subway, Britney Spears allegedly sexually harassed one of her bodyguards who finally quit after getting tired of trying to make her wear underwear. The Sun reports:
“She was always giving him the come on and he felt if he didn’t reciprocate he could lose his job. He finally handed in his notice last week and is considering legal action.
“She runs round the house naked and yelling at staff. All her guards knew they could be removed if they looked at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for Fernando, she took a liking to him, so he was under more pressure than most. He wanted to be a good security guard and look after her but the situation became unbearable.”
The last straw came when Britney’s dad JAMIE – who is in legal control of her and can hire and fire staff – kicked off after she left her Los Angeles home without underwear.
“Jamie went mental when he saw the pictures and Fernando was made the fall guy. He was not fired but told he was to blame. He had had enough.”
So basically guarding Britney Spears is like babysitting a nympho toddler who keeps trying to bang you. I just assumed that was a given.
UPDATE: This just in…
Dear Internet Website The Superficial,
Your last paragraph was the most elegant combination of words to fall upon this director’s eyes. I do believe I have what you young people refer to as “a boner.”
Bestest Regards,
Roman Polanski
That’s just disturbing.
bar room hero | June 9, 2010 at 1:19 pm
whiskey – tango
gogo | June 9, 2010 at 1:22 pm
the laast!!!!
chupacabra | June 9, 2010 at 1:23 pm
she’s so godamned gross.
poopsmith | June 9, 2010 at 1:24 pm
haha damn this bitch is insane
Sport | June 9, 2010 at 1:25 pm
She ALWAYS looks like such a mess. Its been years since she shaved her dome, hasnt that shit grown back by now? Her nails are always scabby, her glasses suck, she has no style.
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
How can you be that rich and yet so damn clueless.
Not a hot mess – just a MESS.
WhiskeyDust | June 9, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Let’s see……….
Dead Pool…..
Lindsay……. Britney……..
Still take Lindsay in a LANDSLIDE.
Beeotch | June 9, 2010 at 1:32 pm
From the first two pics, I would swear she is growing a mullet….(an unwashed one that is)
Shabby Knife Fighter | June 9, 2010 at 1:33 pm
She’s a multi millionaire.
Master Spook | June 9, 2010 at 1:38 pm
I saw it all.
Jen | June 9, 2010 at 1:40 pm
that bitch is seriously loony. i kind of feel bad for her. WACK-O. and i agree #5, Sport: its a lost cause now. she’s done for.
chris | June 9, 2010 at 1:44 pm
yum, i’l spank that ass
PostmortemG | June 9, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Dear Typer Of The Superficial:
I hereby give you approval to continue throwing together such strange, alchemic combinations as Britney Spears and Roman Polanski. As much as i hate Quentin Tarantino, i must say that your particular brand of postmodernism is actually tolerable. Now toss in just a bit more cruelty, and we´ll all continue to laugh even more.
Sincerely,
PostmortemG
Darth | June 9, 2010 at 1:45 pm
WTF,is this true!?
Hunter | June 9, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Are you serious? KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON! You are a fuckin’ adult… GEEEEZ……
RtSS | June 9, 2010 at 1:51 pm
This is wrong… California is in economic distress already. We don’t need to have a HAZMAT team following her around mopping up the drizzle she leaves behind, only because she decides to not where panties. For the love of God! These celebrities can get away with anything. Also, the smell of stanky fish must float around her; like that pig-pen character in the Peanuts comics/cartoons. I, imagine, there’s a flock of seagulls that also fly around her trying to get some of those fresh sardines.
joho777 | June 9, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I’ve always though that Britney was as dumb as a box of rocks.
But Britney is obviously mental too.
The article reminds me of Amy Winehouse’s reduced cognitive ability and her morinic conversations and responses to questions. All due to brain damage from crack.
What is Britney’s excuse?
Of course you have to have her :bodyguarded” so she doesn’twalk out with her pubes hanging out scaring children and small dogs, she doesn’t marry some geekc who happens to smile at her, and doesn’try to buy the entire Target store and all the cars in the parking lot.
But considering everything, I think that Papa Joe should turn her loose to live as she wants.
It might be entertaining for those of us living in L.A. County.
jacob's elevator | June 10, 2010 at 12:12 am
I agree, the more I see Britney the more i Suspect Drug abuse, she has all the Symptoms of a drug addict, from her change in looks to her behavior to the way she speaks
G | June 9, 2010 at 1:56 pm
“There was something in the air that night. The stars were bright, Fernando.”
Aw c'mon | June 9, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Seriously, I feel for the guy. Being a bodyguard is NOT supposed to be a babysitting position. They’re there to make sure no one hurts her, not make sure she’s not flashing her snatch to the world. If shitney is so retarded that she plays these “I’s gonna be-a flashin’ mah snatch ta da world” games, then the bodyguards are in a no win situation; if they attempt to check that she’s wearing underwear, she could easily cry rape or sexual harrassment.
Btw, I totally believe this story. Remember the reports that came out when she was in the process of trying to get her kids in the custody hearings? The court appointed person who put the report together wrote of how she would walk around the house naked (she’s totally hypersexual), how she smeared dog feces on her couch, etc. Let’s face it, shitney is a total & complete retard; she’s batshit crazy. Anybody that signs up for a bodyguarding gig with her better get used to either puking after seeing her naked or hope they turn gay immediately…
Amanda | June 9, 2010 at 1:58 pm
She looks like she smells.
BostonFreek | June 10, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Amanda I sooooo second you on that. Totally looks like she smells……like fermented cheese and stale beer.
Twizlah | June 9, 2010 at 2:05 pm
That last line should win the Pull-It-zer Prize for journalism.
pimp | June 9, 2010 at 2:10 pm
i’d cleanse her stinky asshole with my tongue…
Essdee | June 9, 2010 at 2:11 pm
@19, and she probably smells like she looks, too.
ROUGH is never having to say you're sorry! | June 9, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Some Kevin Costner he is. I and the judge’s response? ‘Dude gimme an effing break will ya’
Anonymous | June 9, 2010 at 2:17 pm
He should have spent some time looking at pictures of BS before 2004 and then smashed it.
Now he’s got no job and sounds gay for bitching about a chick being naked all the time. Who cares if she runs around the house naked? It’s her house,
How the hell did he he stuck with underwear duty? LOL He must of drawn the short straw.
britney spears, phd | June 9, 2010 at 2:19 pm
@#16 (joho777)
i love the irony of you describing someone as “morinic”…what a dumbshit you are…
Randal's Rectum | June 9, 2010 at 2:27 pm
This just in!
Could that be our sweet little Britney walking down the street, leaving a trail of stardust behind her?
It most certainly is, and carrying a Jarrod special to boot!
Randal’s Rectum
cutesy | June 9, 2010 at 2:36 pm
awwwwwwww fernando!!!!!
ALL he wanted to do was to be a GOOD guard!!!!
Jon | June 9, 2010 at 2:41 pm
I don’t care. I would take the reins of that hot mess in a heartbeat. You’d still see her in the tabloids but at least she’d be smiling more.
cutesy | June 9, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Awwwwwwww Fernando!!!!
All he wanted was to be a GOOD bodyguard!!!!!!
Corny | June 9, 2010 at 3:07 pm
“Unfortunately for Fernando, she took a liking to him”………… yes how unfortunate for Fernando and my favorite line is….”He wanted to be a good security guard…” yes cause isn’t that the ultimate gooooal for young Fernando in life, to be a good security guard. how Hard it must of been for him to see Britney Spears at home naked.
mancuso | June 9, 2010 at 3:14 pm
Poor Fernando, barely escaped* The Brit only to stumble headfirst into Da Gaga’s new Albino Catholic Nazi Moe Hispanic Clone Gangbang video.
No wait, that was Alejandro….
But there’s a Fernando in it, I’d swear.
Or was that ABBA?
Also, Brit was left screaming “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!”
(*Now, all things said – whydn’t he just bang her good? I mean, come on! It was a classic 80′s B-softcore screenplay situation, why not go with the flow?)
pimp | June 9, 2010 at 3:15 pm
how is someone ruled not competent to take care of finances, but perfectly fine to raise children? this country is fucked!
Anon | June 9, 2010 at 3:23 pm
It’s not like she’s raising the kids. She has nannies the couple of days they’re with her and the dad raises them.
Thankfully, although maybe the fact it’s k-fed is the reason your country is fucked.
me | June 9, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Do u really think she would have to “harass” bodygaurds hahahahaha she’s britney spears, that guy is an idiot and any1 that would believe his story….poor guy???? I’m lmao
Anon | June 9, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Maybe he’s not as hard up as you?
toresen | June 9, 2010 at 5:05 pm
who’s the bigger man. the bodyguard who bangs her, or the bodyguard who doesn’t and cries to mommy.
Anonymous | June 9, 2010 at 5:48 pm
Twitney: Go away and never come back.
Gary B | June 9, 2010 at 8:46 pm
In the late 1990′s this story would have been the stuff of fantasies, now Brit running around nekkid and carrying on like a crazy person is the stuff of nightmares.
Captain doodle | June 9, 2010 at 9:51 pm
Johnny Depp fan? http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=243190222678
jacob's elevator | June 10, 2010 at 12:09 am
OMG i have never laugh so hard before on these sites, not even in the Geekologie,
This is pure GOLD, everyone’s comments here are HILARIOUS :D
The ONLY REASON I see for him Complaining is if he is MARRIED, or ENGAGED, or something like that,
I mean imagine if you have a girlfriend that you love, and then some crazy B!tch is running around asking you to do her?????
Or
he is gay,
but he is is single and straight, he is just a Big Puss!!!!! whiny moron,
he could have gotten laid and thats it, she might even give him a new car or something, i am not saying for him to prostitute himself, but if a girl came up to me and said she wanted to do it and im single, YOU THINK IM GONNA TELL THE POLICE ON HER? and Britney is a Celebrity for god’s sake!!
i don’t know, Britney is kinda crazy, but she is not that gross, not at all, i have seen way worst girls at the clubs, so she is ok,
sunny | June 10, 2010 at 2:35 am
Britney hadn’t sex for a long time probably.
tutugui | June 10, 2010 at 3:27 am
hell, wat’s is the point of eating subway when she’s gonna feed on that pack of chips later?
justinwood | June 10, 2010 at 7:17 am
So britney is in the media once again. Nice to watch her with new issue.
MCSE courses UK
Nero | June 10, 2010 at 10:24 am
Another one who does like a plate full of penises for breakfast!
bimbamboing | June 10, 2010 at 10:35 am
Frappucino’s and Cheetos are the remaining ingredients from that diet.
Nero | June 10, 2010 at 11:47 am
*Sweet voice* Is this good girl already boss about her own finances?!
el ces | June 10, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Umm, why wouldn’t he just tap that?? Thats all she wants.
el ces | June 10, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Umm, why not just slip the beef to her?
Lana | June 12, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Did anyone else notice the dollar hanging out of her pocket? Guess Daddy is letting her get her allowance.
missywissy | June 16, 2010 at 1:17 pm
are you serious??? Get a life.
Jose | June 15, 2010 at 7:10 am
Oh geez, I just know the usual onslaught of white trash insults that will no doubt follow this post. Especially with the $1 bill sticking out of her pocket. Y’all are ridiculous really, venting all of your highschool hate gossip every time you see a Britney post. Hey im not the Whacko who went on youtube.com crying LEAVE BRITNEY ALONNNE WAAAAH, but seriously yall disgust me far more than a Britney without perfect makeup or perfect clothing. The fact is, she just doesnt give a shit what all you little nothings think. And i love her for it. To all you little scamps that cant wait to get on here and bash her for this or that.. GET A LIFE.
missywissy | June 16, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Why is she an insane bitch for buying Subway? I don’t get it. Wow, don’t ever look my way. I put my money in my pocket too.