Britney Spears is a fat pig

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What’s that? Not enough updates about Britney Spears and her VMA performance? Well here’s some more, you greedy bastards. Us reports that after her performance, Britney ran off stage screaming that she looked like a fat pig, and was so awkward during her performance because she could see herself on monitors.

“She was also able to see video of herself throughout the auditorium,” a backstage source tells Us Weekly. “She flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ She was inconsolable.”

Has she not taken a shower in three years? Or looked in a mirror? What exactly was she expecting to see? It’s not like she had grown a tail and had a robotic arm. “Oh my gah, wuh happened to me? *munch munch munch* Why I look so fat? *munch munch munch* It must be special effects. *munch munch munch* I love Cheetos.”