Britney Spears is a fat pig

September 12th, 2007 // 160 Comments
0912_britney_spears_fat_pig.jpg

What’s that? Not enough updates about Britney Spears and her VMA performance? Well here’s some more, you greedy bastards. Us reports that after her performance, Britney ran off stage screaming that she looked like a fat pig, and was so awkward during her performance because she could see herself on monitors.

“She was also able to see video of herself throughout the auditorium,” a backstage source tells Us Weekly. “She flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ She was inconsolable.”

Has she not taken a shower in three years? Or looked in a mirror? What exactly was she expecting to see? It’s not like she had grown a tail and had a robotic arm. “Oh my gah, wuh happened to me? *munch munch munch* Why I look so fat? *munch munch munch* It must be special effects. *munch munch munch* I love Cheetos.”

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Comments (160)

  1. cocaKelli | September 12, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    Terrible.

    Reply
  2. justplainconfused | September 12, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    Ok, that’s enough about Britney for the day, unless you have opportunity to report her tragic death.

    Reply
  3. Ugly People Safaris | September 12, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    I want to eat her. Not eat her out… but eat her bc she looks soo juicy and plump.

    Reply
  4. lorena | September 12, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    Karma Police hahaha

    Reply
  5. Ugly People Safaris | September 12, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    tragic death? PUH-Lease!

    Reply
  6. wedgeone | September 12, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    She has mirrors at home, but they’re all covered with some type of white powder.

    Reply
  7. jersey | September 12, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    bottom line:
    you could lipstick on a pig but it is still a pig!!!!!
    put your baby maker away and go back to beating inanimate objects with umbrellas. now that was a performance. give up the dancing and the singing brit your not good at it anymore!! go back to irrational actions like shaving your head and what not. thats the only time i ever found you entertaining anyway!!
    my genius idea is still:
    CHARM SCHOOL WITH BRITNEY SPEARS!!!
    VH1 CALL ME I GOT MORE IDEAS WHERE THAT CAME FROM LIKE:
    we could do a mr potao head version of britney vajay vajay

    Reply
  8. georgie porgie | September 12, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    Hmm … she’s been through a lot. I wonder what will be the final embarrassment — that one last thing that will make her suicidal. ‘Cause this landslide just keeps on moving and Britney is too stupid to clean up her act.

    Reply
  9. Rachel | September 12, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    Puhleez. There is NO WAY she said that. She’s too busy taking her clothes off, jumping in the ocean in front of the paparazzi and being “desired” by the likes of Monsieur Angel to think that! It’s Britney BITCH!

    Reply
  10. Fifth Stooge | September 12, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    Curly was fat too.

    Reply
  11. Fifth Stooge | September 12, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    So was Schemp.

    Reply
  12. BINKY! | September 12, 2007 at 3:22 pm

    HAHA, I don’t believe she said that, but it’s funny to imagine.

    God I have no life. But then I come on this site and suddenly I feel at peace with the world.

    Reply
  13. Stupid Cindy | September 12, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    A fat pig. Has anyone ever seen an anorexic pig?

    Reply
  14. harry potter | September 12, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    Fat pigs of the world unite!

    Reply
  15. veggi | September 12, 2007 at 3:24 pm

    She should try the bulimic pig tactic.

    Reply
  16. Szandra | September 12, 2007 at 3:25 pm

    Remélem megdöglik ez a szegény beteg marha …

    Reply
  17. gas | September 12, 2007 at 3:26 pm

    If you read this you are a fart

    Reply
  18. Meisterburger | September 12, 2007 at 3:27 pm

    The camera adds 10 lbs. She thinks she’s fatter than she really is.

    Reply
  19. veggi | September 12, 2007 at 3:27 pm

    @16————

    Brit! Take the food out of your mouth!

    We don’t understand what you’re saying!!

    Reply
  20. Jimbo | September 12, 2007 at 3:29 pm

    She ran off the stage saying she looked like a fat pig. Did she forget about the pig fest she had in her room when she got to Vegas?

    Hey Veggi How are you doing today?

    Reply
  21. elle | September 12, 2007 at 3:31 pm

    if that’s fat, i’m jabba. she’s just not toned that’s all. big deal. now ENOUGH of britney BLOODY SPEARS.

    Reply
  22. Binky | September 12, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    Yikes. I seem to have a troll. Of course I don’t use caps or ! – so I suppose I can go back to sleep.
    Next.

    Reply
  23. blugardenia | September 12, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    You get crap for skinny and curvy. Britney is not fat. Visit the rest of the world for a reality check. This is why so many women out there are starving themselves to death. You do need to get your life straight for your babies, Brit. Keep a thick skin & concentrate on your mental health. the rest will follow!

    Reply
  24. Jeffrey Dahmer's Ghost | September 12, 2007 at 3:33 pm

    Somebody spear that pig! Make a good roast! Look at that ripe golden skin! Yum!

    Reply
  25. Victoria | September 12, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    Bloating and swelling usually accompany a late night out drinking margaritas and shots (I should know from personal experience)!

    Reply
  26. Morgan | September 12, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    I guess you guys were right…she’s complaining that she didn’t do well because she saw pictures of a scary dog!

    Reply
  27. jrzmommy | September 12, 2007 at 3:36 pm

    PUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON THEN YOU STUPID REDNECK BITCH!

    Reply
  28. Gertie | September 12, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    She’s got a monkey up her butt. *nods sagely*

    Reply
  29. bottlesandcansjustclapyourhands | September 12, 2007 at 3:38 pm

    see, ya’ll, if ah wouldda had on mah brown hair then ah wouldnna look’t so dang fat.

    Reply
  30. InstantAsshat-AddFame | September 12, 2007 at 3:39 pm

    #26–Touche’! ROFL

    Reply
  31. joLIE | September 12, 2007 at 3:39 pm

    She didn’t know what her figure looked like because she’s actually blind. Sad but true. It happened when she was hanging out with Parasite and accidentally caught a glimpse of the entrance to hell between Paris’s legs. made her own look like frolicking puppies and kittens
    ————————————————————————————
    Brangelina haters, check out this great site dedicated to exposing them for the pair of skanks they are!
    http://www.medialady.proboards105.com

    Reply
  32. mish | September 12, 2007 at 3:40 pm

    I don’t think she looks a fat pig, just a TERRIBLE choice of outfit which didn’t flatter her one bit. Women needs guts to wear that.

    Talk about slutty.

    Reply
  33. Britney Fan #1 | September 12, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    How can people be so heartless
    How can people be so cruel
    Easy to be hard
    Easy to be cold

    How can people have no feelings
    How can they ignore their friends
    Easy to be proud
    Easy to say no

    And especially people
    Who care about strangers
    Who care about evil
    And social injustice
    Do you only
    Care about the bleeding crowd?
    How about a needing friend?
    I need a friend

    How can people be so heartless
    You know I’m hung up on you
    Easy to give in
    Easy to help out

    And especially people
    Who care about strangers
    Who say they care about social injustice
    Do you only
    Care about the bleeding crowd
    How about a needing friend?
    I need a friend

    How can people have no feelings
    How can they ignore their friends
    Easy to be hard
    Easy to be cold
    Easy to be proud
    Easy to say no

    Reply
  34. theShizaan | September 12, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    Hey now, pigs aren’t fat…they’re just big boned.

    LOL, I said “boned”

    Reply
  35. Tim | September 12, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    It was mostly water weight.

    Reply
  36. DeeDee | September 12, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    She just needs to stop wearing “clothes” built for the old, hot Britney.

    Reply
  37. kleist | September 12, 2007 at 3:43 pm

    27 — Exactly!
    The thing I hated most about her performance was her outfit. It was a worthless piece of trash and the only reason she put it on was because she wanted to show off to the world. Less, less, less — that’s what she wanted. She has no style, no class, no substance. She’s worthless, unentertaining, not in the slightest way can she be considered a musical ‘artist’. What a mess.

    Reply
  38. Ugly People Safaris | September 12, 2007 at 3:43 pm

    @33 that is quite possibly the gayest lamest attempt at poetry I have ever witnessed.

    Reply
  39. D | September 12, 2007 at 3:44 pm

    23,
    She’s not really fat, but she does make terrible clothing choices, considering her current size. She also made a living being the hillbilly that losers most wanted to nail. Live by desire, die by desire, right?

    Reply
  40. LadyJane | September 12, 2007 at 3:44 pm

    This shit’s gettin’ old. I’d rather hang out with Wally than read another fucking Britney post.

    Reply
  41. Fred Durst | September 12, 2007 at 3:45 pm

    Britney, come back!

    Reply
  42. Lola | September 12, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    I wish she’d embrace her non skinniness (how can one call that fat, unless one is media-fed-distorted ?) and bring on a great show. The “Omg she’s fat” Generation is so fucking boring, no wonder creativity is about rehashing and dumbing down, it’s all that’s left when a brain is full of SHIT.

    *clap clap clap clap*

    Now will some hot creative gals of all shapes and sizes step up to the plate and end this mindnumbing culturedeath ?

    Reply
  43. Lola | September 12, 2007 at 3:47 pm

    Hay-ell no I ain’t warin’ no cor-set….that’ll cuver me up too much. *turns to “handlers* hey, Ya’ll, dotchy’all thank mah stummick looks good, ya’ll?

    Reply
  44. Elle | September 12, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    It’s time to take the piggy to market.

    Reply
  45. Lola | September 12, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    OMG! Your name is Lola, too #42? THAT is SO wild!

    Reply
  46. veggi | September 12, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    I like to poop in boxes!

    Reply
  47. Texas Tranny | September 12, 2007 at 3:53 pm

    @44
    Or to the fucking slaughter house.

    2 fucking Shitney post in a row, god damn you Fish, please find something other than this bitch.

    Reply
  48. BunnyButt | September 12, 2007 at 3:53 pm

    My dog’s name is Lola …

    Reply
  49. Lola | September 12, 2007 at 3:54 pm

    That must be one excellent looking dog!

    Reply
  50. Texas Tranny | September 12, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    @46
    Thanks, now I’ve got the theme song from Weeds playing in my head.

    Reply

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