Britney Spears is a faker

December 13th, 2007 // 101 Comments

Britney Spears claimed to be too sick to give a deposition yesterday in her custody battle with Kevin Federline. However, Britney was spotted out until two a.m. hitting up various gas stations, according to TMZ:

Cameras caught the popwreck and an assistant leaving her home away from home, the Four Seasons, for her other home away from home — a gas station — last night. Brit didn’t answer when we asked why she missed her extremely important deposition that morning, saying little more than, “It’s cold, y’all.”

After filling up at that station, Britney drove to another one. What is with her and gas stations? The only scenario I can come up with is that her real father is a Squeegee and Britney’s never going to stop searching until she finds him. Even if it means losing her two children, That One and Who’s His Name.

superficial

  1. Auntie Kryst

    @45 Oh wow! Anexio has a troll.
    @46 easy there, it’s just jokes.

  2. Actually I think she’s looking pretty good here. Love the boots.

  3. lux

    Ok, I don’t believe Anexio is real. This has to be the work of a comedian.

  4. feg

    nice Wonder Woman boots. think those are from the sex room?

  5. PrettyBaby

    Sympthighs

    What more can a person say?

    Sympthighs indeed.

  6. PrettyBaby

    #18 Yes Danielle, the cone has shape, form and a beautiful coloring unlike…. that…. which…. is ….. in front holding….. a fucking burrito…..

  7. PunkA

    The only thing shockign about this whole deal is that she continues to wear thsose tragic red boots. Otherwise, business as usal for Britney. She is basically as mature as a 14 year old.

    She needs to grow up. Hope the judge just finds her in contempt and proceeds without her. Or has her forcibly brought to court to appear, then drug tests her on the spot. LIVE. That would be great TV.

  8. MoreFromTheDeposition

    Lawyer: So Miss Spears how has your life changed.

    Britney: I’m completely different now. I’ve found a man who loves me. His name is Anexio.

    Judge: Anexio, are you helping Britney get her affairs in order?

    Anexio: I will be there for brit even though she do not kmnow me ever.

    Judge: I will allow Anexio to be involved in relationship with Britney. If and only if I can come over on Weekends for the occasional threesome.

    Britney: Yes you honor.

    Judge: Anexio your in

  9. Shallow Val

    IN CASE YOU ALL MISSED THIS YESTERDAY EVENING, I AM REPEATRING IT!

    PEOPLE I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!

    Anexio is pulling all of our legs. It’s a FACAAAAAADE! I got it. It’s all contrived. It’s just too good for anyone of us to avoid responding. It’s just too good, I tell you.

    That’s pretty good, Anexio, or whatever your name is. It may actually be Krazi Hot Kelli. Did y’all ever think of that?

  10. IfAnexioISKraziHotKelliThenSheHasAFinallyLearnedSomethin

    just sayin

  11. Auntie Kryst

    @59 I figured as much Val, but I just can’t stop it. Brit Brit has to always pig out and I must reply to Anexio. Jebus save me.

  12. Ted from LA

    For the record, she had diarrhea and decided to go out for a late night burrito to try to cure it. Nobody said she was a valedictorian.

  13. Cobra

    Actually, her children are called “Whats Hisface” and “Whatchamacall’im”. Get your facts straight, Superfish.

  14. Cobra

    Actually, her children are called “Whats Hisface” and “Whatchamacall’im”. Get your facts straight, Superfish.

  15. AnexioIsOk

    @59 All of this is a joke anyway. I know Anexio is not real but then neither am I. It’s just a little fun in the middle of another work day. Anexio is writing some stuff that is fun to make up stories too. Besides Britney will die soon enough and Anexio will have to come up with a new act. Maybe Anexiohan or something.

  16. The Beer Baron

    Maybe she’s trying to score some drugs? The Palisades Mobil station on Sunset sells weed there.

  17. Shallow Val

    Gas stations are great for hittin that pipe in the bathroom, specially if they are outside the station. OR, she is truly just putting herself on the papp map.

  18. PunkA

    Bet she meets her dealer in the bathroom at the quickie mart. doing a sex for drugs trade. She is classy.

  19. Matthew

    it still proves to me she don’t want kids and she will lose them this trainwreck will have a fame done

  20. Gaffla

    @59

    I genuinely believe #44 and #45 are the same person. And if I’m right, then man you’re a genius. Hands down.

  21. What's That Smell?

    She looks so Christmas-y in those red boot and the green top. I feel another Christmas TV classic coming: “How the Brintch Ate Christmas”

  22. whackjob

    The superficial often become seriously detached from reality, especially when mental illness, drugs and alcohol are combined (remember the Michael Jackson interviews?).

    Isolated and insulated from the real world, they think the papparazzi are their friends and fans (“it’s ok Brit, we love you, you’re safe, you can go in, etc.)

    She’s acting homeless because she is: physically, spiritually and emotionally. (yes, I did take Psych 101 fifteen years ago as a matter-of-fact).

    Now I ain’t wishing anyone dead, especially around Christmas time, but it won’t be long now. Just saying I don’t see anybody kidnapping her ass and pulling a Black Snake Moan on her. “man, Ricci was hot in that. What was I saying?”

  23. Lowlands

    Looks like she’s suffering from insomnia.

  24. Sauron

    Red,blue,green,dark brown glasses and a white purse.What country flag is that?

  25. Miserable Bastard

    Ever try reading Finnegan’s Wake? Anexio @ #3 could be James Joyce reincarnated. In any event, for those of you at the office, sniff a permanent marker and then try reading #3 in a James Earl Jones voice, or possibly as Patrick Stewart. It definitely enhances the experience.

  26. WishesBritneyWould DieSpredEagledOnSunsetBoulevard

    @70 – Sorry 44, 58 and 65 are me and I reply anonymously. Anexio is not me. I can’t type like that. I would go insane. Auntie Kryst does it good but I don’t. That Anexio stuff I typed in 58 I actually cut and pasted from his #3 post.

  27. Sick to my stomach

    For the love of God, someone PLEASE help us all and put her out of her misery and ours. I’m begging someone to hurry. And what’s up with the hideous red friggin boots?

  28. D. Richards (moron), (skank), (pathetic)

    Hey where can I hok up with some well-hung black men?

  29. michael korrs

    18-
    it looks like
    v-8
    vitamin water
    and deer park water

  30. Eat my shorts

    Oh, I can’t believe that the rag mags have Britney as having eloped and the Fish hasn’t even snapped that one up.

  31. Celebutard Hater

    There’s plenty of us out there who are quite impatient for Shitney to off herself. It’s true that this happy day it’s coming, but, as long as she has money to finance her drug/sex/food/shopping/alcohol binges, she’ll live (exclusively) to indulge herself. That could take years, even with her carrer in the crapper. Our only chance to witness the glorious event of her suicide while we’re young is to hope for a case multiple O.D.

    My bet is overdose on chilli fries and Cuervo, while snorting a yard-long line of blow with two dildos jammed in her ass

  32. So she is well enough to drive around in circles for no reason, but not well enough to fight for her childern? WFT!

  33. Sateen

    Anexio, in the words of Steven Hyde –

    I’m gonna explain my feelings to you through a highly disciplined form of Japanese poetry: Haiku.

    My heart aches with pain.
    When I see you I vomit.
    Die away from me.

  34. Cromag

    You can take Brittany out of the trailer but you cant take the trailer out of the Brittany.

    She has to be the most pathetic human to ever walk the face of the planet.

  35. Kaylie

    Apparently she didn’t go to the court yesterday because she didn’t want anyone to tell her what to do. Well, if she wants to get her kids back, she better follow their instructions.

    It would be somewhat different if Britney was the smartest girl in the world, and always showed good judgment, and her career was sound, and she had good relationships with her friends and family. But she obviously has a variety of problems (I think the biggest problems is that she is extremely stupid, immature, and has some type of mental issue right now), so if anything, she definitely needs to listen to others because she doesnt have the capacity to do things on her own properly.

  36. Another top star’s news. But who knows she had a profile at interracialconnect.com which is a niche interracial dating site? She had a hot video there. She is really sexy with bikini in that video. someone thought it is naughty. but I don’t think so. I think it is sexy.

  37. Liz

    Well of course she wasn’t sick…christ who believed she was?

  38. chels3222

    Anexio- From what I can gather from your gramatically disasterous post, you believe that Brittany should be exempt from the law merely because she ‘deserves to be left alone’. I’m sorry my darling, but you sound just as ‘foolish’ as your puesdo-chum Brittany. As for the ‘court fool’ judge who attended law school for three years and probably practiced for several years as an attorney before earning the priviledged position of ‘court fool’, it’s a good thing he doesn’t waste his times reading the trash that’s on this website.

  39. iburl

    cumon guys! I have sympthighs for her two! Her babys are hers! I dont want to be the arogant here but brit should go the stupid judge court man when she wants too! Not when the court fool say she have!

  40. Sebastián

    I’m beggining to warm up to Britney. The woman has gone COMPLETELY mad and, as such, she’s a pleasure to watch. I’m hooked on moronics.

    Let’s rejoice in Britney’s crazyness. Who else would offer “it’s cold, y’all” as a justification for missing a court appointment? What other celebrity would steal panties to (supposedly) annoy the paparazzi? She’s just genious! This is reality as good as it gets.

    I’m waiting for BriTV

  41. nikkifickletavi

    I thought anexio was a anagram for Brittney at first but then I realized that just looking at pictures of her makes me stupider. Love the bad grammar, keep it coming! I’ll get a book out of this site yet!

  42. What in fucks name is she wearing?

  43. What in fucks name is she wearing?

  44. Unkle joe

    Id like to jackoff on Britknees green shirt!

  45. So Sad, but she is acting her age!! How do people expect her to act Like she’s 30??

  46. Anexio

    Hey Phil, get a clue. Spears the shithead is 28 years old, not 12. She’s a fucking wacko lunatic self absorbed c-word.

    Oh, she’s just normal!!!

    There are young women in our armed forces stationed in Iraq that are 18 years old and are in charge of millions if not billions of assets. They are extraordinary people and to compare them to Britney Spaniel shows a major difference.

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