Britney Spears only wrote two songs on her new album “Blackout.” I’m genuinely surprised. I expected the amount of songs she wrote to be in the negative numbers. How is that even possible? I’m not sure, but Britney would’ve pulled it off – like her clothes. Reuters reports:
While pop singers of Spears’ ilk usually leave the songwriting to the pros, she was credited on seven of the songs on 2003′s “In the Zone,” and five on 2001′s “Britney.” For the current project, Spears enlisted 23 songwriters. She received credit on “Freakshow” and “Ooh Ooh Baby.”
The Superficial has obtained Britney’s song book. Prepare yourself for an exclusive look at the track listings that didn’t make it in:
“Wh@pper Me, Hun-Hun”
“My Most Introspective Ruminations on the Foreign Press in C minor”
“Coke = Brit-Brit nice”
“Me No Mom, Me No Have Kids”
It should be noted that there were no lyrics for “Coke.” It was just a doodle of Mayor McCheese punching Kevin Federline into a bus. Surprisingly, it was tastefully done. She used real ketchup for the blood.
Sam Hain | October 16, 2007 at 8:24 am
What am I first?
J-Rizzle | October 16, 2007 at 8:25 am
First?
shosho | October 16, 2007 at 8:25 am
booooooooooooring!!!
Sam Hain | October 16, 2007 at 8:26 am
seriously? she paid someone for that Gimme More shit? She was robbed.
Lonewolf | October 16, 2007 at 8:26 am
well she created a whole new way to look trailorfab
shosho | October 16, 2007 at 8:27 am
plzz only important news should be posted!!
Jerkoff | October 16, 2007 at 8:28 am
Gimme some George Carlin, I’m in a mood.
IKE | October 16, 2007 at 8:35 am
HEY! My first top 10!!!
really? | October 16, 2007 at 8:36 am
since when is important news ever posted #6??
im really surprised she wrote anything on this album.
whatever, i liked gimme more and radar.
Andrew C | October 16, 2007 at 8:40 am
So I guess she’s not going with her proposed album title ‘Like Is Lindsey Okay’. That makes sense since they’re running about even on the “Oh-MY-God-I’m-a-complete-wreck-o-meter!
Drink another mocha frappe, you dirty, dirty girl.
InstantAsshat-AddFame | October 16, 2007 at 8:53 am
I am honestly surprised. I didn’t know she could read notes, much less write a song.
Yesterday’s pictures…hmmm. I wonder if Brit will make it through the day without going for the Frappuchini Oreo Double Chocolate Moche Latte’ Supreme with a side order of Whipped Cream. The girl has an oral fixation for things that are creamy and keep her up all night, but if she doesn’t quit sucking off those Starbuck’s treats on a daily basis, there won’t be anything else.
SaraDevil | October 16, 2007 at 8:56 am
Wait. Wait. Wait.
She can write?
Auntie Kryst | October 16, 2007 at 9:00 am
Britney’s writing contribution to the 27 songwriters…”Hey y’all how bout one more ‘uhhh’? Y’all got three uhhhs but ya need a fourth ‘uhhh’. That there now sounds like a proper stipper tune. See y’all I can help write!”
JaniBalto | October 16, 2007 at 9:07 am
When will you have the mugshots, Fish?
DushieBlue | October 16, 2007 at 9:15 am
No people, it says she was CREDITED. That doesn’t mean she actually wrote something. For instance, if she decided there should be more moaning in a song, legally she would have to get credited for creative input into that particular song.
Some more songs that didn’t make it:
‘Panties, schmanties’
‘I’m still 1/16th virgin’
‘I’m not your babymama. I demand a DNA-test!’ – co-written by someone who can spell ‘DNA’ properly
‘Rehab is a great place to meet guys’
‘That so IS a dress’
‘Of all the McDonalds-restaurants *it so IS a RESTAURANT, y’all* in the world, you had to stand in line in front of me *sad face*’
MrSemprini | October 16, 2007 at 9:16 am
Someone asked her to describe her children and she said, “Hnhgg arragh narkhzh”. You just can’t argue with that.
DushieBlue | October 16, 2007 at 9:21 am
Btw: I keep seeing this add for james cunt in concert and I just want to add: DIE ASSCLOWN, DIE!!
hegadeth | October 16, 2007 at 9:22 am
Aviators on her and Blowhan. Coincidence? Way better than Wayfarers and Gigantor glasses but still……… Meh.
P911GT10C | October 16, 2007 at 9:23 am
booooooooooooooring
oh, and # 1 and 2, you’re losers.
guurl | October 16, 2007 at 9:27 am
come on, lose that 10 pounds, get those babies back, get it together
Dick Richards | October 16, 2007 at 9:28 am
Twenty-three song writers. Man, people cultivate this music. I wonder who the writers work for? Satan!
hegadeth | October 16, 2007 at 9:32 am
> Look! James Blunt in concert! Pass the razor blades!
DushieBlue | October 16, 2007 at 9:45 am
@hegabeth
I know, right? Everytime I see his face or hear him sing (although the jury is still out on if that screeching sound qualifies as singing) I just want to stab him in the eye. And then dump his body in a meatgrinder. And then feed him to a pack of wild boar. Yes I have issues.
hegadeth | October 16, 2007 at 9:56 am
^ I was with you up until the wild boar. Them things are nasty!
gotmilk? | October 16, 2007 at 10:20 am
so where the fuck are all those britney supporters now, claiming she has a hit song with her new song. oh what? she didn’t even write it & she doesn’t even sing it? frankly, i find that shocking!
Auntie Kryst | October 16, 2007 at 11:15 am
@25 no shit right? If I see one more dumbfuck writing about how she is such a great “artist” I’ll go apeshit. Loved this story, points out what a talentless hack she is.
IWONKY | October 16, 2007 at 11:19 am
What’s dirty and sweaty, covered with zits and spills it’s Starschmucks everyday?
George | October 16, 2007 at 11:24 am
She can write. Oh, that’s right, she didn’t go to the LA Unified School District, she just lives there.
IWONKY | October 16, 2007 at 11:56 am
Gimme Dirty Whore
I see you
But I just wanna eat cheetos
Everytime I go to Starbucks
Just wanna get that extra creamy cream
Public display of my coochie
Smells like no one else in the room
I am a clown like there’s no one around
I’ll keep on schlockin’, I’ll keep on schlockin’
Cameras are flashin’ while I show my ass and
They keep watchin’, keep watchin’
Feels like the crowd is saying:
Gimme dirty whore, dirty whore, dirty, dirty, whore [*4]
The center of attention
Even when I’m up against the wall
You’ve got me in a crazy position
If you’re on a mission
You got my permission
I am a clown like there’s no one around
I’ll keep on schlockin’, I’ll keep on schlockin’
Cameras are flashin’ while I show my ass and
They keep watchin’, keep watchin’
Feels like the crowd is saying:
Gimme dirty whore, dirty whore, dirty, dirty, whore [*4]
I just can’t control myself
Whore, they want whore
Well, I’ll give them whore
Gimme dirty whore, dirty whore, dirty, dirty, whore [*4]
Dirty dirty whore, dirty whore
I’m a whore, I’m a whore babe
I’m just a whore
Dirty, dirty, whore, dirty whore, dirty, dirty, whore [*4]
[Danja:]
Bet you didn’t see this one coming
The incredible lygo (??????????)
The legendary Miss Britney Spears
The unstoppable Danja
You gonna have to remove me
‘Cause I ain’t goin’ no where
gotmilk? | October 16, 2007 at 12:00 pm
seriously though, where did all those fucktards go from last week? not that i like reading through all their drivel, but c’mon, at least stand by your convictions!
IWONKY | October 16, 2007 at 12:07 pm
#30 – They’re waiting for the bell for lunch period.
Joshua | October 16, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Britney Spears needs to get Born Again and become a (Real) Christian.
She needs to follow the Lord Jesus Christ and read her Bible every day and pray for her children.
Then after her life gets in better order, and she gets the Baptism of the Holy Ghost with evidence of speaking in tongues, she needs to start recording good Christian Rock n RoLL Music.
Wake up Brit, the One True God is calling you into His service.
IWONKY | October 16, 2007 at 12:10 pm
see, there’s one
gotbrains? | October 16, 2007 at 12:14 pm
#25 – “claiming” she has a hit? You know, you can use your porn machine to learn things too. Go to the Billboard site. Check the Hot 100 list. She’s still at #3. She dropped all the way from #1 down to #2 on the Digital chart. So my question is, where are all the people from last week who claimed that she’d fall right off the charts? Not that I like reading through all their drivel, but c’mon, at least stand by your convictions!
TS | October 16, 2007 at 12:19 pm
What is the fascination with being first or even being in the top 10? And then stating the obvious? Just wondering…
Someone please educate me.
dr phil | October 16, 2007 at 12:27 pm
#35 sometimes the pussy is kinda loose and beatup if you’re, like, #50.
gerard Vandenberg | October 16, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Why some of the fucking celebs so fake? With the red lipstick and black , red and pink nailpolish!! Why always that faking look? Is white nailpolish and lipstick too ordinary or what!! You have the looks of a cheap WHORE!! For instance, the look of kim kardashian was just fine. Now she looks like a whore: LESS IS MORE!! With make-up, it’s almost the same thing as with clothes!!
Ript1&0 | October 16, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Holy shit! “…ruminations on the foreign press in Cm” LMFAO! That list and #15 have rendered me unfunny*, I can’t top this shit!!! Keep it up!
*I’m not actually sure if I’m funny. But I’m also not awake yet. You have to give the speed some time to digest, people.
gotmilk? | October 16, 2007 at 2:44 pm
34, i apologize. when i said “claiming she has a hit”, I meant 1. she wrote the song 2. she sings the song. neither of these are true. the people who make it seem like she sings the song are the ones who have the hit, not britney. i know this is too much for you to absorb. more importantly, i don’t give a rat’s ass where she is on the charts. 100% of pop music sucks ass, so being #1 on a list of shitty songs isn’t very impressive. in conclusion, fuck off. thanks!
BigL | October 16, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I bought a hilarious “Show me your Britney” Shirt at this site:
http://www.cafepress.com/larryadair/3338091
mabbo | October 16, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Big deal. She didn’t write anything for her first two albums either. And for the record, most of these big name pop stars don’t write their hit songs: Bette Midler, Cher, Celine Dion etc. Rihanna doesn’t write her songs either. It’s all made by super star producers like Timbaland. The boy bands didn’t write their music either: NKOTB, N’Sync, BSB. I bet people like Janet and Madonna only have a limited roll in their song writing. So Brit isn’t the only “fake” artist. Oh, Kelly Clarkson, anyone? Yeah, like she really writes anything.
BunnyButt | October 16, 2007 at 4:45 pm
Leave Britney alone! She’s the greatest musical genius of our time! It’s not her fault people keep stealing credit for her work! Don’t you listen to these haters, Britney! In 500 years, people will still be listening to your music and loving it! Well, maybe not 500 years … more like 100 … um, or maybe 1.
LabotomizedHilton | October 16, 2007 at 4:57 pm
You forgot:
“quit your fucking crying or mommy will get naked again you little fucking brats”
Track 7 I believe.
brithater | October 16, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Yes Brit wrote 2 songs on Blackout. It was her idea to add “Baby” at least once in each song. Wow, I never would have thought to do that. This girl is good.
Igottabemeee | October 16, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Maybe she added subliminal messages to the songs that you can’t hear…
“Britney is beautiful, buy her records”
“Go to places like Superficial and stick up for me. I am your God”
ya know, stuff like that. be wary
Tia | October 17, 2007 at 12:36 pm
C’mon Britney!! you’re rich ! I can pull of loking better than you and I shop at Forever 21!
Britney spears hot nude sexy pictures wallpapers music album video songs | October 22, 2007 at 4:54 am
Britney spears hot nude sexy pictures wallpapers music album video songs