Britney Spears is a Coke addict

March 15th, 2007 // 77 Comments
britney-spears-pepsi-generation.jpg

Britney Spears, a former Pepsi spokeswoman, has become addicted to Coke and allegedly drinks 24 cans of Coca-Cola a day. Additionally, Star reports she’s been a terrible patient in rehab. An insider says:

“Britney has a seriously bad attitude problem. She’s been very demanding; acts like a 12-year-old and throws temper tantrums when she doesn’t get what she wants! She refuses to pick up after herself and even asked if she could hire a maid! She’s asking for this and that, special food, special everything … and she’s not that nice to anyone.” It’s likely that Spears is acting out, reports that mag, because she feels she doesn’t belong in rehab in the first place. “I heard she keeps saying she is just sick from postpartum depression and that she does not have any real addiction problem, which is a joke. She has an addiction.”

Is it smart for an addiction treatment facility to be giving somebody 24 cans of Coke a day? That’s like going to fat camp and being served fifteen meals of chocolate covered butter a day.

superficial

  1. She looks like Princess Buttercup. So pretty…so CLEAN. *sigh*

  2. Go go goo :D
    Yes, here she looks untypically[for her] clean!

  3. biatcho

    I feel so sorry for her. She’s so young and confused, under so much pressure, and everybody is judging her. Even while she’s working hard to fix her personal problems, uncaring people make harsh comments. I hope she sees how this reflects poorly on them, not her. Go Brit!!! Love you!!!

  4. chickiee2002

    She looks really great here. Hopefully she will get her act cleaned up and look like this again someday! Clean, and pretty!

  5. Addictions are the new black.

  6. BarbadoSlim

    Unclean piece of sewer trash Ugh, all that sugar and High Fructose Corn Syrup is gonna balloon her up reeeeal nice.

  7. gossipfiend

    Drinking large amounts of soda makes it alot easier to throw up, especially if you have very little in your system to trow up in the first place. It is probably a trick she learned from years of being bulimic

  8. Fifth Stooge

    #3 biatcho- I’m citing you 1 demerit for plagiarism.

  9. fergernauster

    To me, the most shocking & depressing component of all this Britney Spears fall-from-grace & rehab hoopla is that she does not seem to want her babies.

    She is not fighting for her kids.

    Perhaps because she is one herself.

  10. Nsomniac

    I believed this story right up until they said she used the word “postpartum”. At that point it lost all credibility. I’m pretty sure if you used that word in a sentence to her, she’d squint one eye, cock her head like a labrador, and reply with “is that like an afterparty or something?”

  11. fergernauster

    Wow. They actually COULD make her pretty at one time…

  12. itspat

    and she thinks “brooke shields” is something you put in your panty on heavy flow days.

  13. PunjabPete

    She is gonna get faaaaaattttt….

    Acting like a 12 year old? Shocker!!!

  14. Mmm… chocolate covered butter…

  15. TrimSpaBaby

    #9 Nobody ever says “no” to this stupid bitch – she does what she wants and she’s got the money to bankroll whatever her peabrain chooses to do. She can’t believe anyone is gonna cross her on doing what she wants with those kids, either.

    She’ll bail out of rehab by Sunday, just wait.

  16. okiedoke

    What an old pic.

  17. whackjob

    pepsi = sweet innocence
    coke = whore

  18. Daldianus

    Fatcamp is where she will be heading next if she keeps drinking 24 cans of Coke a day …

  19. But I’d do the girl on the pic!

  20. Dr.kevinpothead

    “served fifteen meals of chocolate covered butter a day.”

    LO-motherfuking-L!!!!!!!!!!!!
    shes so hideous, and i dont feel sorry for her at all. i love when she hung out with paris herpes, going out and partying with 2 babies at home, flashin her vajayjay, and says “im sorry i partied so much i just havent had a birthday party in 2 years!” honey, let me tell you something, when you have kids, THEY COME FIRST!!!!!!!!!
    worst.mom.EVER.

  21. jrzmommy

    24 cans of coke = 5 lines of coke.

  22. Donkey

    #17
    LoL! I see a Pepsi ad coming out of this.

  23. veggi

    if by 12 cans of coke a day, they mean vicodin, hydrocodone, and vallum, then I might believe this story. And I

  24. BarbadoSlim

    @13…hahahaha you mean faaaaaattttt….er…

  25. PunjabPete

    LMAO….

  26. julyper

    24 cans of Coca-Cola a day? Considering she sleeps – at least – 8 hours, she drinks the 24 cans in 16 hours, so, 1.5 cans for hour? WOW.

    sick from postpartum my ass, she just wants someone else to take care of her children while she’s “getting better”. Cow.

  27. hiyalewzers

    This story definitely seems real. All the Britney-in-rehab leaked confidential info stories seem real. Look, there’s a unicorn!

  28. MonkeyBrains

    24 cans of coke per day. The carbonation must be seeping from her pores. She must be using this rehab time to develop the ability to burp out the entire alphabet. She might be able to fart out the entire alphabet simultaneously.

  29. bedbugsandballyhoo

    No wonder she’s gotten even fatter in rehab. Anyhow, she always seems to just switch one addiction for another.

  30. veggi

    hiyalewzers! bahahahahahah. unicorns. thank you.

  31. guymorgan

    COMMENT ABOUT HER BEING FAT WHEN SHE ISN’T GOES HERE :

  32. lambman

    Um, a can of coke has 155 calories, multiply that by 24 a day and that’s 3,720 calories a day just from Coca-Cola….that’s insane

    Also, why is this rehab fascility releasing statements about her conditions, treatment and behavior every day? Isn’t there any sort of patient confidentiality?

  33. TashaVin`

    …which should put in every parents mind that they should smack them around when they need it, or you’ll end up like BS

  34. jrzmommy

    32–yeah, hello!! HIPPA laws? Well, in her case hippO laws. nyuk nyuk

  35. jrzmommy

    but it’s probably another resident or a real jerk off of an employee.

  36. pana1718

    hopefully she will look like this again!

  37. That’s so funny last night I had this dream that someone gave me this giant box of coke. And I was all like, how much did all this cost, and this dude was like 100 bucks. Wow that’s a lot for 100 bucks. Then I put some on a cookie sheet and stuck it in the oven. I don’t know why. Then I cut a cat’s paw and it turned into a cow. Then it died and I was really sad, because it was my favorite.

  38. That pic is from YEARS ago, before she pooped out her first crotchfruit. Today she looks like the “after” picture.

  39. MrSemprini

    Send her to me. I will straighten this little tramp out and she will be a perfect lady when I get through with her. I do need to borrow a cattle prod, first. And, a kitten. And, a bottle of Vick’s Vap-O-Rub. And, some, uh, uhm, bacon. Mmmm, chewy, smoky bacon. ohhhhhhhh

  40. ch474

    Deep at heart she’s always been a hillbilly from Louisiana. Soon she’ll just be a toothless hillbilly from Louisiana, birth’n babies like a PEZ dispenser.

  41. GoFigure

    @40 You mean like Mike Hamilton?

  42. HollyJ

    Of COURSE she drinks Coke… She’s from the South.. Southerners drink COKE not Pepsi–because Pepsi sucks blue whale schlong and tastes like the smell that comes out of a septic tank.

    If she’s drinking lots of Coke, she’s prob not eating as much. Caffeine’s a known appetite killer.

  43. DrPhowstus

    @6 — Damn! I was gonna say the HFCS would do wonders for her hips you crafty fucker. That’s what I get for working and not doing the important shit.

    This bitch must get delerium tremors when she’s away from Coke for more than a few minutes. That’s why she didn’t have a steady grip on that umbrella. Those caramel coated, nicotene laden lungs are really gonna affect her angelic singing voice. I for one am disappointed. And of course by disappointed I mean HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Getting head from a unicorn could be painful.

  44. Missallanpoe

    Ah, I hardly post here anymore. But this…this gave me the lol’s. I can see someone trying to take a can of coke away from her and she trying to scratch their eyes out screaming, “precious!”. Time to switch back to water, Britney lard ass.

  45. Lowlands

    I remember when i got 24 cans in the rehab.Every 2 minutes i had to fill those 24 cans with petfood and then the next 24 etc.

  46. Dr.kevinpothead

    MonkeyBrains on March 15, 2007 9:20 AM

    24 cans of coke per day. The carbonation must be seeping from her pores. She must be using this rehab time to develop the ability to burp out the entire alphabet. She might be able to fart out the entire alphabet simultaneously.

    BWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahahaha!!!!!!
    fucking funny shit, MonkeyBrains!!!!!!
    theres a video of her on utube all fucked up, rolling on X and beltching like a linebacker

  47. HollyJ

    maybe they took away her Cheetohs

  48. hilaroushillary

    wow, this pic really looks like what .. taken 30 years ago. Yeah, it’s been so long since she looked like that. stupid bitch.

  49. sea

    Addicts typically crave lots of sweet sugary substances in rehab. It’s their bodies way of trying to adjust without the drugs. Especially if they are coming off of hard drugs like cocaine or heroin. I love how she makes up lies (depression, not needing rehab) and yet the truth always comes back to bite her.

  50. There’s this Ryan Reynolds flick, “Best Friends”, that’s not too funny however Anna Faris plays this poptart that’s modelled on Britney Spears. When I had the misfortune of watching it, I thought Faris was being intentionally over the top in portraying said poptart as overly possessive, incredibly insecure, and an all around slut/freak. Now I am not so sure. Is there anyone out there who is truly praying for Brit anymore?

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