Britney Spears in ‘The Grossest Story Ever Told’

May 28th, 2009 // 99 Comments

I’ve heard a lot of Britney Spears stories in my day, but this is the first one that made me want to immediately die afterward. Page Six reports:

The pop tart took time off from her “Circus” tour to do an Elle magazine shoot, our spy says, and it was a disaster. “They dressed her in all these beautiful couture clothes — and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasn’t pretty.”

The scariest part of this article? Britney’s menstrual cycle suggests she’s still able to bear children. — Mommy!

NOTE: Please feel free to correct me on that assumption in the comments, but keep in mind I have a penis and therefore secretly think vaginas can talk.

Photo: Mavrix
superficial

  1. Que

    Que flows of red.

  2. TEDBUNDY187

    if I was working on the set I would suck the blood outta her vagie and spit it into her butthole

  3. Botz

    She is so disgustingly fat. So, so fat.

  4. Rachel

    I wish I hadn’t read the comments.

  5. Randal

    Hey there beautiful! Glad to read you’re taking time off from your tour for yourself. Having some space can certainly give one an extra boost of energy, which will do you well once you resume the biggest tour in 2009.

    Smile!

    Randal

  6. Botz

    @5
    Probably because you’re so fat and ugly.

  7. TEDBUNDY187

    then she could poop the blood into my mouth. then we make out and bang naked on a dirty bathroom floor.. oh yea!!! just the way she likes it

  8. If it bleeds, it leads

    What do you expect? It’s freakin’ SLUTney spears, for christ sake. She’s an inbred hillbilly retard with absolutely no sense of personal hygiene.

    Remember last year, when she was still in her “I’s be goin’ wild” phase? 2 incidents remind me of this. The first one is when she was out with adnan the terrorist, and she pulled up her dress in front of photogs, to display her bloody maxipad. The other one was when she was on a Vogue magazine shoot, and was wearing couture clothing. She was eating fried chicken, and kept rubbing her greasy hands on the clothes, ruining them. She also used one of the dresses to clean up after her dog. Then, after ruining the photo shoot, she had the audacity to steal over $10,000 worth of dresses.

    She’s the worlds biggest retarded dumbass. Who cares about her; let the little possum tart continue on with her pretend singing “concert” tour. Once that craters, she’ll hopefully disappear forever…

  9. Valentyne

    It happens to every woman at least once.

  10. sloppy Joe

    Stain Removal Tips:

    Marinara Suace:

    Presoak in powdered Clorox 2 and detergent in warm or hot water. Launder with detergent and Clorox liquid bleach. If oily stain remains, use Stain Out on stain and launder again.

  11. Juliana

    I just hope they make her pay for the dresses… Or the dry cleaning at least!

  12. LGWS

    @8: dude! now i have to wash my brain!

  13. devilsrain

    She probably inserted the tampon in her ass

  14. I heard if you stand close to brit brit you can hear the ocean!

    well, at least shes immune to embarrassment which is good…

  15. slugo

    - thought her menstrual cycle was in the shop

  16. Nero

    Holy crap! That’s one of the grossest story i’ve ever heard!

  17. Aisha

    She’s fat? Man some of u are delluded, or really hate their bodies? She is a normal healthy weight then again Hollywood is fucked up with image.

  18. Dear Randal

    ummm dude, are you writing to the celebrities here? wow I thought I was dumb. I am but gee

  19. Gando

    I know Elle is a women magazine.Don’t they have standard any bandage on stock?

  20. Botz

    @17
    She’s a fat tub of shit. I understand you wanting to feel good about your own horrible, flabby body, but you have to realize that if you’re fat, we’re going to call you on it.

    So stop flapping your jowls. The sound is making me nauseous.

  21. carmen

    I’m with Rachel. I really wish I wouldn’t have read some of the comments.

    Okay, first the “tampon dangling on stage” incident and now this?

    God at this point even Britney’s vag seems to be crying out for help. You were right Superficial Writer…they can talk!

  22. Hmmm

    Did you really have to share this story. Thx Sup :(

  23. Beastman AIDS

    #19
    That’s Randals angle – he’s a regular.
    Think he’s just takin the piss though.

  24. Alli Watermelon

    Yeah, that IS pretty gross. But every girl has freakin had a menstrual accident at one time or another in their life. Granted, she should have been a little more cautious since she was doing a photoshoot. But come on, if this disgusts to the point of naseau…grow up. Geez. *Off to change my sheets, they’re just sooo soiled in BLOOD* Go ahead, puke…pussies.

  25. aunt tilly

    so that tampon string hanging out of her tour costume was a whole 28 days ago already ???? Time really flies when you’re trying to erase disgusting images from your mind

  26. Ewww!

    Sick.

    Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick.

    Sick.

  27. Elle

    @Botz – You’re seriously delusional. She’s gross & scary, but she’s not fat. And your comment to other comments?… Well it shows you’re the biggest fucking piece of shit loser I’ve seen comment thus far – even worse than the vag sucking guy. Kinda shocking and gross, but LOL, at least he’s doin his thing. You’re just an insecure shit. I wish you luck getting through your miserable life with that negative antagonistic attitude.
    I guess it’s cuz you’re super fat.

  28. TrannyGranny

    Ted Bundy is the shit!!!!!!!!!1

    I imagine Shitney the Pears sombrero-like bugina to be like a beheaded person in the Kill Bill movies. Spewing blood and eggs like a fucking lawn sprinkler. I bet she totally sprayed the photo crew.

  29. Valerie

    That is FUCKED up. She IS fucking retarded, you don’t disrespect couture clothes like that! I’ll never be able to put on expensive ass clothes in my life, but if I could, there’s no way I’d “forget” something like that! What a bitch!

  30. TrannyGranny

    I bet it smells cross between an old ham sandwich and sardines

  31. happens to all of us?

    #10- perhaps…. but it seems to happen to Britbrit monthly…heh-heh, get it? monthly ..hahahaha , damn i crack myself up sometimes

  32. Jugular

    @21
    Man you are seriously delusional. I’d like to know what you look like, because you’re more than likely obese.

  33. NATALIE

    FEMALES 12-60 HAVE PERIODS. OVER 500 IN THEIR LIFETIME. IT IS COMMON TO HAVE AN ACCIDENT…SHEEZ

  34. ihatework

    They do not make tampons big enough for that hole…

  35. sahara

    STOP calling her fat
    STOP being complete idiots
    STOP being victims of believing everything you read

    even if it did happen, its happened us all. she’s just the unlucky one to be in the spotlight every 2 seconds of her life. god i hate you people, you’re fools. think back so something embarrassing thats happened to you in the past and imagine it being blown out of proportion as much as this shit gets. fuck it. done with this shit heap. i like the fish writer, just not the cretins who comment here

  36. Kathleen

    NASTY

  37. Jake

    It wasn’t just a typical “accident”. My cousin works for the company that supplied the outfits and she said that there were fountains of blood shooting everywhere. Seriously, it was straight out of Nightmare On Elm Street. People were crying and running around but they couldn’t get away because they kept slipping and sliding in Britney’s snatch blood!

  38. Sonora

    Sahara: STOP being fat.

  39. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    First gressy chicken now this. Insane, and to think I wanted to hit this hard when she first came out with her first single whatever the heck it was.

  40. sahara

    good one sonora.

    well done

  41. jesus

    chubby, bloody whore…….

  42. ahah

    @ 38:

    Best comment, ever!

    You should write grindcore scripts.

  43. tj

    ha ha has it really been a whole month since that concert when her rag tag was hanging out???? seems like just yesterday.

  44. SlowMonkey

    That zit on her chin isn’t helping matters any.

  45. lalala

    I understand that it was good for your readership when Britney was a dumpy mess who shoplifted from convenience stores but she’s not anymore so move on.

    There are a gazillion pics on other sites of Britney in this same bikini in which she looks good and I have no doubt you chose this picture because it’s the one unflattering pic from this day. Lame.

    It’s completely possible that one day soon Britney will go through another crazy spell but until then stop posting made-up stories and accompanying them with irrelevant pictures. It’s old.

  46. Rachel Lee

    Where is the pics.All this talk about a bloody vagina is making me hungry. Did her rag tag have a reminder attached to it so she changes it or does she do like others of her class…..let it rot!

  47. alex

    Is it just me or would anyone else totally use her Cunt blood instead of Ragu.

    …whats that? oh, it is just me? Fucking puritans

  48. ishi-san

    @10: true, but not pass the age of 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  49. mikeock

    This just goes to show you that they don’t grow them very bright down south.

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