Britney Spears wears a bikini, I die a little inside

May 18th, 2008 // 177 Comments

It came from the sea…

Britney Spears rocked/tested the goddamn strength of her bikini this weekend while vacationing with Mel Gibson and her dad in Costa Rica. Alright, let’s cut to the chase: Pregnant or swallowed a dolphin? Personally, I dunno, could be either one. The smoking and ATV riding suggest a lack of fetus, but keep in mind it’s Britney Spears. She could be petting a shark with raw steaks tied to her chest, and I’d still be scratching my head going “Hmm. Maybe…”

Photos: Splash News
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  1. booyah

    FIRST?

  2. oh no

    britney, what happened!?

  3. UNCLE NED

    It’s a beer-gut.

  4. ?

    Give her a break, the girls been through a lot and so what if she’s gained a few pounds im sure many of the people on this site are not a size 2 either

  5. ?

    Give her a break, the girls been through a lot and so what if she’s gained a few pounds im sure many of the people on this site are not a size 2 either

  6. Natalie<3

    I dunno why everyone thinks shes so fat. i think she looks great. the little tummy is sexy

  7. WelcoMatt

    People need to give Britney a break!!! She’s mentally ill (Bipolar Disorder) and is obviously taking antipsychotic medication (to combat bizarre behaviors like shaving her head and talking in an English accent). That’s kind of weight distribution is due to that type of medication. I saw it all the time in the mental health facilities I’ve worked in. I know it’s funny to make fun of celebrities, but not when they’re so obviously suffering a situation that’s beyond there control. Anyway, that’s my 2 cents….

  8. yeehaw

    ok. everyone has their bloated days. on these days, you don’t wear a fuckin’ bikini. common sense. you’d think with her, she’d KNOW she’d get the attention, so if she’s feeling/looking fat, NOT to walk around like that.

  9. much love brit

    yea but if you like to wear bikini’s and your on vacation why should you be forced to wear a one piece ,,just because the public will look at your pictures and judge them? puhleasee. fuck that. good for her.

  10. Nicole

    She’s had two kids. Get over it.

  11. Eric

    So the fuck what?! She looks better than all the fatasses I see at the beach!

  12. Jimbo (a different one)

    Huh. Be damned, reasonable comments on the Superfish? What is this, leap year or something?

    Yeah, she’s out of shape but on any reasonable scale she still looks pretty good. If you haven’t fucked worse you’re probably a virgin.

    Still barking insane though. Probably about an 8 on the scale of 1 to Amy Winehouse.

  13. foxy

    oh bayjeesus…please put it AWAY!
    guess that’s what happens when you stop taking synthetic speed aka Ritalin.
    but at least wear a bikini that’s less than 2 sizes too small.

  14. mantenea

    and seriously like imagine being photographed while at the beach when your trying to have a relaxing time… why should she have to care what her body looks like 24/7 . people need to get livess no wonder these celebs turn bonkers.

  15. NotBad

    Not bad. I have fucked fatter. Realistically, she is slimmer and hotter than your average American.

  16. Liz

    Not to echo a famous cliche, but really, LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE.

    I completely agree that not everyone is a size 2 in Hollywood, and I think only about 1% of all women genuinely look good in bikinis and it’s probably because they’ve had work done.

    And Britney is post-two babies and severe mental trauma.

    And I’m not saying this because I’m fat. I’m a normal size 5 and proud. Thank you.

  17. fsda

    I agree she looks great. Just cuz she’s not sucking in 24/7 or starving herself does not make her disgusting

  18. tina

    britney for president 2008

  19. BritsAfattie

    Holy Christ……
    that
    is
    nasty
    Whats up with all the 14 year old fat girls on the planet posting tonight. I had no idea the Superfish was popular with the tween crowd

  20. Ja…she’s less fat then 75% of the USA so they should think twice before they call her fat ,but she sure lost her edge

  21. yeah

    She is pregnant. I know this, because she is smoking. Her redneck roots, wouldn’t have it any other way.

  22. Zapruter

    Am I the only one that thinks she looks like bigfoot in that first shot? Seriously. The gait. The forward leaning stride. Head slightly turned toward camera with the “uuuuhhh” look. Ad some hair and it’s a dead ringer.

  23. HAnn

    I would fuck her up and down left and right and lick her ass crack

  24. yeaa

    to number 19.. the only post that sounds like an immature 14 year old is your post …i’m a size 2 but why should people want to hide their bodies while theyre on vacation
    because the paparazzi decide to follow them and take pictures so we can laugh at their bodies because most of us are ugly as shit and want to be able to talk shit about someone where they can’t say shit back…??
    talk about self concious…

  25. BritsAfattie

    #24

    Only people that announce they are a size 2 are the ones that forgot to put the zero afterwards.

    zing!

  26. General Tao

    It’s irritating that so many comments are prefaced with “…but I’m a size 2…” or something to that extent, as if it somehow is more justifiable if you’re thinner yourself.

  27. Hemlock Queen

    Eh… It’s an improvement. She’s on psych drugs and cheetos. Does a body fat. I’ve been on some that definitely balloon you and it sucks.

    Buutt, if I knew I was going to get photographed by the paps then I’d at least pick a more flattering bikini if I was going there. Otherwise I’d pick up a cute one-piece that was more flattering to some weight gain. We salaciously pick over every celeb on the planet, and Britney get’s constant harsh criticism.

    We also know Brit has the style sense of a goldfish. Ahh, poor girl, she doesn’t have a chance. I hope she’s at least feeling better.

  28. Dura

    Am I the only one left that would still do her OR still want to see her “Sex Tape”

  29. eh

    i dont think she looks half bad, she looks happy in some of the pics so i hope she is having fun

  30. Donkey Punch

    She was lucky there weren’t any Japanese or Nordic types around when she was swimming because they would have hunted her for the whale meat.

  31. suzy

    I think she looks great. She looks normal and healthy.

    Her medication could be the result of a little weight gain/little change (since she’s been to the gym).

    just give her a break, she’s getting better!

  32. britney is fat

    @26
    exactly!

    if you tweenies are going to defend her bloated and self-indulgent fat ass then at least have some solidarity and admit your own weight problem.

    want to lose weight? drop the fattacinos and anything else that comes with more E numbers than ingredients.

  33. bleek

    ya well, she is still hotter than kim kardashian

  34. Afikpo Chic

    britney is simply a moron!! an idiot!!! has she lost all her feminine intuitions?

    why would she dress in something that will make her look like a hippo? there are so many bikinis out there that would make her look like a million dollars even if she is now fat. she is simply giving FAT a bad name to hang it.

    why can’t people use their brain and maximize there hotness quotient before stepping out. shame on you, brit!!

  35. joey joejoe

    my penis just left the building.

  36. Kimberly

    I know no one (including me) wants to hear this but…
    Give the girl some credit. For someone who was pregnant and gave birth twice, she has a pretty good body. She doesn’t have stretch marks (God’s curse) or cellulite (God’s curse specifically aimed at women). So she’s a little out of shape. That’s nothing a little Bally won’t fix (see how I did some advertising there…).

  37. Liz

    She isn’t hot. More importantly, what’s Mel getting out of all this? Mentally disturbed people holiday together now?

  38. caliwine

    What do you expect she has had 2 kids, I mean she wont ever look the same !!! Unless plastic surgery is an option ?

  39. Gargamel

    She’s apple-shaped. All the fat goes on her tummy and not her thighs.

  40. bettygreen

    she is fat but sexy.Her blog and photos were found at milllionaire datingsite

    —”W e a l t h y D a t e r.com”—- last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is seeking on that

    site.

  41. Gargamel

    You can see a good comparison of a pear-shaped body and an apple-shaped body in pic 13. She’s not pregnant – it’s just fat.

  42. I think one of those penis thiefs from the Congo just got me!

  43. Afikpo Chic

    #36, you must be stupid or hard of hearing. the problem with people is not that they are fat but that they do not know how to dress their sizes. there are so many ways you can dress up to look 100times better than you really are if you wear the right stuff. brit is just chubby there are a billion ways a chub can dress and she would look badly hotter and better than a skinnie it is all about wearing the right clothes for ones body. what is happening to american women!!? no dress sense.

  44. gweilo

    As a long time Westerner who has lived in Asia for over 10 yrs, she is a hunk of a whale. It is the American diet to blame, not her 2 kids. I see everyday women who have many kids and they are far skinnier than Britney.

  45. gweilo

    As a long time Westerner who has lived in Asia for over 10 yrs, she is a hunk of a whale. It is the American diet to blame, not her 2 kids. I see everyday women who have many kids and they are far skinnier than Britney.

  46. fax

    Perfectly normal girl especially in your country!
    She looks hotter than most of you.

  47. Jen

    She has a nice body. It might not be perfect, but who’s is?

  48. Sarah

    Her hair still looks better than Elisha Cuthberts.

  49. snarky

    Thats completly freaky looking; its like she’s really muscular… and yet fat at the same time. And nothings hotter than a big ol’ gut hanging over with a naval ring piercing; yipes. Her shorts and bikini are way too small for her. And to think I was too paranoid to wear a bikini; cripes I look better than that. Anyways, I suppose if she feels free, happy, and healthy; then what the heck; its better than the messy, f’ed up state she was in before.

  50. Ok, you ALMOST got me, but these are really shot of Dog The Bounty Hunter, right? Right? No?……oh shit!

    *vomits out a lung*

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