Britney Spears in a bikini

March 10th, 2009 // 110 Comments

First, let me pay Britney Spears a compliment on these bikini photos of her taken yesterday in Miami: She looks slightly above average – which is a giant step from the days of Predator Britney and the Search for More Taco Bell. That said, remember those “candid” rehearsal pics from her website where she’s sporting sick abs? Either those were Photoshopped, or Britney’s dad needs a better hiding place for the cookie jar. Like space.


  1. Phil

    You’re suggesting she’s overweight? Shame on you.

  2. dude

    My girl looks very f**able!! Good for you, Britney!

  3. TRUTH

    FIRST to say she looks 10 times better than any of you stinking gunts

  4. pizzafaced losers

    I’m sure there will be lots of negative comments, and it’ll be much more negative than for Jessica Simpson or Kim Kardashian, neither of whom has had kids but wouldn’t dream of being photographed from all angles in a skimpy bikini. But you pizzafaced losers are followers and your leader has told you to be Britney haters, so that’s what you’ll do. Baaaaa. Baaaaaa.

  5. Ike Turner

    Times like this I wish Lee Harvey Oswald was still alive. This bitch needs to piss off and die.

  6. Ike Turner

    Why don’t you go eat a fucking shotgun or something?

  7. SoTe

    she looks great! Great ass… Go Brit Brit!

  8. Jrz

    Third pic
    Third row
    “Britney….how big is your ass?”

  9. Shitney Still SUX

    This dumb gutter pig SHOULD be looking better than just about everybody else, it’s her JOB. She ain’t selling singing, or dancing, but her “sex appeal” so hooray for her she’s halfway there.

  10. Jellocee

    Gotta remember – When ur working the muscles they’ll stand our more than when you are just sitting around on a lounge chair. No cookie Jar – no photoshop. Just working vs not working. Not rocket science, my friends.

  11. Bite Me

    We ain’t your friends, douchebag.
    (to #11)

  12. fhyy

    but seriously-she looks really good. whats the problem? she’s not a skeleton, and surely got some meat on her bones, still looks great for me. would love to have her belly (its not flat, but its rather normal for women) and legs. propably too big arms. thats all. hot and healthy looking in my opinion.

  13. Ella

    Wow… I *wish* I looked that good. I mean I’m thin, but her body looks fabulous! :)

  14. LeeHarveyOz

    #6 well said, just let me at that crazed bitch!!

  15. nah

    3rd pic 3rd row = “how big is Kevin’s beer belly now?”

  16. I think she’s lookin’ banging in the little blue bikini, there ain’t much covering on the bottom there is there?… she’s going to be a candidate for pretty soon if she keeps getting in this kind of shape…

  17. Spunkbob Sploogepants

    I’d still hit that and probably still hit it again later if it was still in that shape.

  18. Karen

    Yeah, good point – so how hot is her former dancer husband looking now? We rail all day about the figure flaws of female celebrities while the average American man looks like Kevin (complete with the tunic-tshirt worn as a type of tent over the huge beer belly). Meanwhile the average American woman looks like Britney…plus 30 lbs.

  19. I’d still eat that box.

  20. Frank N. Stein

    I would hook a finger into that ass while doing the doggie.

  21. Jim

    I’d be happy if my wife looked that way after 2 kids. It’s rare.

  22. hacksaw

    I’d hit it.

  23. LeeMajors

    mmmmm, lovely lovely. Id grease her down, make her run from me on all fours, and after I caught her, Id hit it.

  24. Alice

    Britney is so sexy!I love her very much!. I just want to make sure if she has found a new date on”C e l e b M i n g l e. C o M “? I was told that she has a verified profile there.

  25. Mike Walker

    When is she going to realize that those big sunglasses don’t look good on her pigface.

  26. Monkey's Bone

    In about 10 years, she’s going to realize those cigaretts and singing don’t go together. She’s eventually going to burn her vocal chords out.
    Other than that, I love her titties. I’d Bone em.

  27. jonnathan

    she looks terrible and ugly as always

  28. martiniman

    she has no boobs or

  29. Max Planck

    Smokers suck.

  30. Jrz

    27–that would matter if she could actually sing. But she can’t, so if she ends up sounding like Patty and Velma on The Simpsons, it could only be an improvement.

  31. question

    She looks bloated. Which would explain the difference between these and the dance rehearsal pics.

  32. Funeral Guy

    Her music blows but she looks good.

  33. moron

    idiot shitney

  34. melroe

    she doesnt look good.she is ovarreted

  35. ___

    It’s so funny the number of nimrods here telling all of us what they’d do to these women. You’d hit it, you’d hook a finger in her ass, you’d grease her up, maybe you’d hit it later.

    YOU ALL ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKING DIPSHITS. State the obvious why don’t you?

    The fact of thre matter is that your comments indicate that your average IQ is probably around 90 and your maturity is about 13 years old. That being said, if you ever got a chance to stand within 10 feet of Britney (or any other female celebrity, hot or otherwise), it’s pretty obvious that the only thing you’d do is stand there and say nothing like the fucking retards that you are.

    You wouldn’t hit shit, even if you were lucky enough to get a shot. Kooks.

  36. Jackson

    She looks better in her bikini than in her stage costumes. It looks like she lost more weight because her stomach is flat again. I bet Kim Kadaskank wishes she had a nice tight ass like Brittney.

  37. #9,

    Third pic
    Third row
    “Britney….how big is the good Dr Phowstus?”

  38. Valerie

    She has surprisingly good skin–not a whole lot of stretch marks or cellulite.

  39. lalala

    actually she isnt sporting sick abs in the workout picture. its just what you call RIBS.

    and she’s not fat nor skinny. she’s just normal. leaver her alone, she’s had 2 kids.

  40. Des


    She is not fat and she is not skinny; she is fit.

  41. Fati

    she looks excellent!

  42. anon

    She is bulit like a man, no curves, big chunky short, stubby legs.
    No hips, no waist. Big beefy neck, wide shoulders and back.
    she looks like she is on male hormones or steroids.

  43. #43, now get away from the mirror and look at Britney…

  44. anon

    Mr Phow, I am a guy, thanks for the compliment. But even I don’t have a neck as big as Britney’s.

  45. Kay

    For having two kids, she looks so fantastic!!

  46. msjessiemeghan

    not that great.
    But ok.
    Smoking adds 10 years though…but so does kids.

  47. Yeah, she may have a snatch that looks like its been tenderize by my neighborhood Butcher, but I always thought she had nice buns..

  48. Vince Lombardi

    If I was sitting at poolside, my first thought would be: “Welllll, she’s not *bad* looking, but she’s fuckin’ Britney Spears! I mean, c’mon. Do I really need that shaved-head, umbrella-slinging bat-shit drama???”

  49. missywissy

    #36- right on! Like we care what these morons would do to her if they stalked and kidnapped her to even get a chance at what they say they would do. What’s scary is there is more than one asshat that logs onto here and takes the time to write stupid shit like “I would hook a finger in her ass”. What’s scarier is something tells me Britney Spears would enjoy these type of comments about herself if she could actually possess the knowledge to read.

    One more thing, why doesn’t she get in shape like that for her shows???

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