Britney Spears gets her bikini on, my eyes suprisingly don’t hate me

July 28th, 2008 // 112 Comments

I’d traveled to all four corners of the Earth, and at last, I found her again. This would be our final battle. The killing blow to be delivered by the bazooka I won off an Army colonel in a game of Russian roulette. But, suddenly, there’s a commotion. It’s coming from- from- my pants? What manner of trickery is this? Arousal? How can this be? No no no NO!

“Y’ALLLLLLLLLLLLL”

She’s spotted me. With my khaki tent fully pitched, I must flee – or must I? I find myself drawn to the creature. I step out of the brush and approach it. Instead of paralyzing fear, I feel strange emotions. Is this how it was meant to be? Two brutal enemies become star-crossed lovers. Yes, I can feel my heart warming as the anticipation of embrace grips me. It’s at that moment I realize my folly. I had tucked a Snickers bar in my safari hat earlier that day. Well played, Beast. Well pla-

“CRUNCH!”

Photos: Splash News

  1. Michelle

    Not bad.

  2. she does look quite good here. what did she do? Or who did she switch bodies with?

  3. House

    could it be?! My wish kinda sorta maybe came true? I can’t wait till she gets hot again…honestly.

  4. Woozie22

    She looks good! I think her dad has her back on track. Only time will tell…..oh and much better than Spencer and Heidi stories…..gag!!

  5. male superficial commenter

    She’s not stick-thin. After having kids, I expect women to become stick-thin again. At least, in the event that I have sex someday, I’d like the girl to be stick-thin, like a small boy I can put my penis in.

  6. lulu

    Keep up the good work Brit–hopefully you can get back into the shape you were before you freaked the fuck out.

  7. r

    Wow, she looks stinkin hot. Stop the weight loss there, maintain. Hot hot hot.

  8. Good Sheiss

    That’s some funny shit there!!!!!!!!!!
    She does look great, almost enough for my Lordly standards (tightens vise grip on teste just one more slight turn)

  9. Kathleen

    Much better!

  10. dan

    Well give me 8 tequila shots and maybe I can do something with her… Yiaiks!

  11. Dizammm

    There’s my girl Britney.

  12. She looks GREAT! I need the number of her personal trainer–stat!

  13. jesus

    chubby little hobbit. ass hangin out the back of the largest bikini bottom in the world. cankles, white trash………she should die so her kids have a chance at a decent future.

  14. Anexio

    Brti is work out all the time now that her kids is on there own and with supervison. she spend all the day dancing the pop and signing with the backups dancers and shows them what to do and move and make her look all good an d showtunes and stuff. all you pople that say bad thing abouther are sure wrong now are not you.

    ha ha brit alwyas get the lastest of all the laughts.

  15. ph7

    Warning! It’s a trap. She crosses the threshold back to do-able, but her batshit craziness is still percolating under the surface.

    PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION!

  16. nipolian

    Her dad finally stepped in and said: “Look enough of this shit……. From now on we do things old school…….You’re gonna do the traditional Hollywood diet of cocaine and greyhounds.”……..It’s obviously paying off.

  17. I’m confused – this is really the crazy chick who porked up???? Brit is looking good, but as another poster noted – the “crazy” is still lurking so beware any who approach her…..

  18. Jackson'shole

    Abortions do a body good–or belly anyway.

  19. Christopher

    Can’t be her, must be some kind of clone… I mean, I see her smokes, but where is her six-foot burrito?

  20. Did anyone check out my website for all the hot news and fantasy league sports information?

  21. Lest we forget

    Wish I could go to the gym but Im busy raising kids that weren’t taken away from me for being batshit crazy. HORRIBLE MOM!

  22. Sid

    It’d be ironic if she got the abortion after hanging out with Mel Gibson.

  23. Clem

    She looks un-disgusting but not even close to hot. Compare with the Sophie Monk photos.
    Keep smoking Britney ya dumbass.

  24. isaidit

    She still doesn’t mother her children…. loser!

  25. temp

    wow. she looks great. :)

    hope she keeps it up!

  26. WHATS ALL THE FUSS ABOUT!!! SHE DON”T LOOK THAT GOOD!!!!!

  27. Ted from LA

    No boots, no BritBrit.

  28. Mark

    Good mom, bad mom – I’m a guy, what the fuck do I care? The only question is whether she’s sploogeworthy. Right this instant: yes. In a day or so, who knows…

  29. it's me Fuckers!

    she’s doable again! Even batshit crazy she is doable… god knows what you could provoke her into doing in the sack… ;-)

  30. Ted from LA

    I’ll bet with all these changes, her kids won’t even recognize her.

  31. Rick

    I’d stick it in her psychopooper and hang on as best I could.

  32. BigJim

    Thunder thighs hiding a gaping axe wound that is her enormous cooter.

  33. McLashen Anchovy

    she looks like crap, no wait she looks great, she looks like crap, no wait she looks great, she looks like crap, no wait she looks great, she looks like crap, no wait she looks great, she looks like crap, no wait she looks great!

    So fiiiiiiickle… whichever way the wind is blowing I guess!

    bod? ok
    mind? fubar

    and a fucked up in the head schizo woman is the laaaast person you want putting your manhood near sharpish teeth.

  34. Eric

    “and a fucked up in the head schizo woman is the laaaast person you want putting your manhood near sharpish teeth.”

    LMAO@you frightened little pussies! Sex with a psycho chick is PHENOMENAL. The problem is the clean getaway.

  35. Will

    well…. she is looking better than she has in a very long time…

    damn, but the cigarettes are one of the most unattractive thing a woman can do. yuk

  36. Dozer

    Ted from LA – her kids will recognize her when she gets the bag of cheetos and smokes a cig with them.

  37. Britney

    Ah would luv to put a liplock on yer lovelog!

  38. tim

    Her body may tone up, but she can never get rid of the stupid hillbilly face.

  39. non-gay male

    “Her body may tone up, but she can never get rid of the stupid hillbilly face.”

    So?

  40. Bath Time for Brittney

    She looks like a bowlegged old maid.

  41. moobs

    For such an artist, she never really seems to spend “any” time actually making music!

    Tanning is HARD WORK ya’ll!

  42. Ho Ho Ho

    Look how short that guy standing next to her is. He must be a hobbit or something. She probably has him dress up like one of Santa’s Elf’s when they have sex.

  43. Bob

    I’d hit it

  44. Mandy

    Wow it’s BritBrit looking average. Some of you’s are just way too involved in the celebrity world.

  45. malicious

    what’s with the wedding ring?

  46. Derek

    I think she finally found a bikini that looks flattering on her…

    I’d hit it either way.

  47. ann

    huh. She is wearing a ring on her ring finger. At least her hair is looking better. Call me crazy, but I see some darkening/shading under her belly button. Lipo?

  48. manicpanic

    She looks great <3

  49. Steph

    Brits Looking smokin Hot!! and That ann person sure likes to start the rumors!!!
    Lipo???? ppffttt who cares if she got lipo anyways??

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