Britney Spears’ husband and mother are useless

To nobody’s surprise, and to everyone’s smug delight, Britney Spears has been having some money concerns ever since Kevin Federline married her bank account. So Britney has sent in her mother Lynne to keep an eye on Kevin’s spending, which now includes a multimillion-dollar venture to build a dance school with Michael Jackson’s dad, Joe.

And Lynne is doing a great job! I mean, for a blind and illiterate chimp. Which she would have to be because: “multimillion-dollar venture to build a dance school with Michael Jackson’s dad”? Any other financial manager would read that and immediately burn down Britney’s house for the insurance money. Hell, even Koko the gorilla would at least sign, “Get me some gasoline and a matchbook!” But then again, Koko isn’t blind and illiterate. Or a Spears. And that’s why she’s a national treasure.