Britney Spears’ house is kid-friendly


The latest issue of Star magazine claims Britney Spears’ house is allegedly equipped with a fully functioning “fantasy room” And I’m talking of the sexy variety. The double-locked room is loaded with whips, ticklers and a closet full of outfits. NY Daily News reports:

“She wears Catholic schoolgirl uniforms, a maid’s uniform and a Cinderella outfit,” claims the mole. The source also contends Brit is so obsessed with Marilyn Monroe that she wants her nose redone to look like the blond model of self-destruction.
“Britney is sexually obsessed,” the source tells Star.

What’s even worse is that Britney’s sex-toys make it out into the living room. You know, that place where her toddler sons like to play. Of course, they’re probably too busy fighting off disease and infection to notice:

Star’s source also claims the house is a stinky sty — that the white couches bear hideous stains of diaper-changing and Britney’s dog. According to the tab, a “court-appointed watchdog” is set to declare the place a potential “health hazard.”

Britney Spears’ house sounds pretty much how I expected: Her kids lie twitching in the corner after mommy left her tickler in their Power Wheel. London, the Yorkie, quietly watches as he craps in the toy box. And there’s no sign of Britney anywhere except for the loud snap of a whip and the occasional cry of “Hurry, before I turn into a pumpkin!” Though I’m surprised there’s no mention of a pack of wolves roaming the halls. I figured they’d be there somewhere. Unless the creepy guy in the clown costume with the child-size burlap sack let them out.