Britney Spears: Horticulturist?

April 27th, 2009 // 43 Comments

Britney Spears has apparently found a new method of therapy: gardening. Because if there’s one person I want wielding hedge clippers, it’s Britney. The Sun reports:

A source said: “Britney has tried every kind of therapy going. She’s studied yoga, seen numerous counsellors and even experimented with mysticism, but they’ve never been more than passing fads.
“This time seems different though. She’s committed to learning as much as she can about horticulture and how it impacts your well-being.
“Whenever she returns to her California home she’s straight out in the garden working. She’s very proud and knowledgeable about what she’s planted and what is growing around her house.”

I can just see Britney now, walking out to her garden with a plastic pail, shovel and dreams of growing a chicken wing tree. She planted one just yesterday down yonder. Though daddy says “a KFC bucket won’t grow nothin’,” she knows the land. She knows the land.

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Comments (43)

  1. 4 water | April 27, 2009 at 10:49 am

    haha great!

    Reply
  2. tarts n' cream | April 27, 2009 at 10:51 am

    Second! Awesome outfit.

    Reply
  3. JANE | April 27, 2009 at 10:52 am
  4. JANE | April 27, 2009 at 10:52 am
  5. Dude | April 27, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Third?

    This site is starting to suck

    Reply
  6. RichPort's Ghost | April 27, 2009 at 10:53 am

    She apparently took that “Bud Light” tree commercial way too literally…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPffRrzU2Ik

    Reply
  7. justifiable | April 27, 2009 at 10:56 am

    You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t lead a horticulture.

    Reply
  8. the world according to ROUGH! | April 27, 2009 at 10:58 am

    Oh this is perfect for Brit Brit! I know some part in West Africa eating dirt is a common practice, and its Fat free! bon appetit !

    Reply
  9. FRIST!!! | April 27, 2009 at 10:59 am

    I have those boots…and I wear them EVERY day, Ryan Hill..

    #7…that was clever. I lol’ed

    Reply
  10. Bobaloo | April 27, 2009 at 11:03 am

    As my daddy used to say, you can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her read.

    Reply
  11. EB | April 27, 2009 at 11:07 am

    I’m sure she trims her bush regularly

    Reply
  12. Christina | April 27, 2009 at 11:09 am

    FISTR!!!!

    Reply
  13. giz | April 27, 2009 at 11:17 am

    haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    Reply
  14. Sportsdvl | April 27, 2009 at 11:22 am

    Too bad she can’t grow some talent!

    #7 – best post in a long time!

    Reply
  15. justifiable | April 27, 2009 at 11:23 am

    I suggest we anticipate the rest of the followers and plant Heidi, Spencer and Miley. Six feet under.

    Reply
  16. bakinmycake | April 27, 2009 at 11:25 am

    come closer to the anvil tree.

    Reply
  17. Nero | April 27, 2009 at 11:34 am

    Somehow i start to like her more and more.

    Reply
  18. Jimmy Jim | April 27, 2009 at 11:36 am

    this site has become the worst celeb news site in a few week span, congrats. TMZ’s arrogance is one thing, but this? C’mon.

    Reply
  19. Boogeyman King Dong | April 27, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Is she still wearing that outfit? *Shudder*

    Reply
  20. Sades | April 27, 2009 at 11:38 am

    #7, damn, nothing can top that, i am going to have to take that one from you because i like to “borrow” art.

    Reply
  21. Aunt Jemima | April 27, 2009 at 11:45 am

    Horticulture and Whoretitculture are two very different things Brit.

    Reply
  22. justifiable | April 27, 2009 at 11:47 am

    #9.14.20 Thank you all so very , very much. Now, if only I can take the Pratts with me, I’ll die happy.

    Reply
  23. FRIST!!! | April 27, 2009 at 11:59 am

    If you can take the Pratts with you, I’ll die happy..

    Reply
  24. justifiable | April 27, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    #23 Murder-suicide pact work for you?

    Reply
  25. Fuck U | April 27, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    Doesn’t take much to grow “weed” does it Britney?
    Thank goodness too, or your stupid ass wouldn’t know how to do that either.
    LMAO@#14!

    Reply
  26. FRIST!!! | April 27, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    #24 I’m in, but let’s do it up RIGHT. First we shiv out her implants and pliers her stupid teeth out, take an axe to at least half her chin, then gouge Spencers eyes out, and tie the two of them together naked in a Jesus Christ pose.

    Then, we will take the easy way out and OD on morphine or something pleasant..

    Reply
  27. joe m | April 27, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Britney earns more money one minute
    than of the jealous losers will earn
    in their lifetime. Wow!

    Reply
  28. RichPort's Ghost | April 27, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    #27 – Hey Joe… grammar much?

    Reply
  29. mafme | April 27, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    Well, like they say: You can lead a whore to culture but you can’t make her think.

    Reply
  30. rich | April 27, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    Don’t you mean WHOREticulturist

    Reply
  31. Old Fart | April 27, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    As Dorothy Parker said, when asked to use the word “horticulture” in a sentence: You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.

    Reply
  32. justifiable | April 27, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    #31 Babaloo’s (#10) dad obviously sort of heard of Dorothy.

    #26 Wow, FRIST, you’re just a little stickler for tradition, aintcha? (Please tell me you’re not Dick Cheney).
    Hell, I was just going to hold them captive until the bleach grows out and the teeth go back to their natural color, remove the extensions and implants and release the pictures on the Fish so there’s really only one way out for them, but you wanna kick it old school who am I to stand in your way?

    How about we OD in Paris? What’s good enough for Jim Morrison, ya know?

    Reply
  33. kate | April 27, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    This is good. :)

    I’m happy for her, that she’s found something that helps her well-being. I hope she becomes a stronger person and throws off everyone controlling her life. She can be strong and she won’t need her Dad controlling her anymore.

    Reply
  34. joejoe | April 27, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    Just remember, Brit: if you water it and it dies, it’s a plant. If you pull it and it grows back, it’s a weed!

    Reply
  35. jenny | April 27, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    Wow #7 is a god damn genius!!!!!! Brits growing some ganja I bet. It would help her out a lot if she did.

    Reply
  36. gerard Vandenberg | April 28, 2009 at 12:47 am

    o.k. folks, YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LAUGH NOW!!

    Reply
  37. keaty | April 28, 2009 at 3:47 am

    is it me or does she completely ruin the whole sexy cop thing and all other sexy costumes.

    Reply
  38. Meream | April 28, 2009 at 4:50 am

    Gardening IS therapeutic but Britney gardening? Funny picture.

    Reply
  39. Vernon Decossas | April 28, 2009 at 8:44 am

    You can take a person from village but can’t take a village from a person.

    Reply
  40. arealcad | April 28, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    you can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.

    Reply
  41. Free runescape | April 28, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    Great stuff here….

    http://www.3stuff.org

    Reply
  42. tatag | August 13, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    woooooww very2 thanks to share :Pi always came to visit ur blog

    Reply
  43. Torie | January 2, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    What makes people soooooooo F-ing stupid??????? Must be the water..

    Reply

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