Britney Spears: Horticulturist?

April 27th, 2009 // 43 Comments

Britney Spears has apparently found a new method of therapy: gardening. Because if there’s one person I want wielding hedge clippers, it’s Britney. The Sun reports:

A source said: “Britney has tried every kind of therapy going. She’s studied yoga, seen numerous counsellors and even experimented with mysticism, but they’ve never been more than passing fads.
“This time seems different though. She’s committed to learning as much as she can about horticulture and how it impacts your well-being.
“Whenever she returns to her California home she’s straight out in the garden working. She’s very proud and knowledgeable about what she’s planted and what is growing around her house.”

I can just see Britney now, walking out to her garden with a plastic pail, shovel and dreams of growing a chicken wing tree. She planted one just yesterday down yonder. Though daddy says “a KFC bucket won’t grow nothin’,” she knows the land. She knows the land.

Photo: WENN

  1. 4 water

    haha great!

  2. tarts n' cream

    Second! Awesome outfit.

  3. Dude


    This site is starting to suck

  4. She apparently took that “Bud Light” tree commercial way too literally…

  5. justifiable

    You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t lead a horticulture.

  6. Oh this is perfect for Brit Brit! I know some part in West Africa eating dirt is a common practice, and its Fat free! bon appetit !

  7. I have those boots…and I wear them EVERY day, Ryan Hill..

    #7…that was clever. I lol’ed

  8. Bobaloo

    As my daddy used to say, you can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her read.

  9. EB

    I’m sure she trims her bush regularly

  10. Christina


  11. giz


  12. Too bad she can’t grow some talent!

    #7 – best post in a long time!

  13. justifiable

    I suggest we anticipate the rest of the followers and plant Heidi, Spencer and Miley. Six feet under.

  14. bakinmycake

    come closer to the anvil tree.

  15. Nero

    Somehow i start to like her more and more.

  16. Jimmy Jim

    this site has become the worst celeb news site in a few week span, congrats. TMZ’s arrogance is one thing, but this? C’mon.

  17. Boogeyman King Dong

    Is she still wearing that outfit? *Shudder*

  18. Sades

    #7, damn, nothing can top that, i am going to have to take that one from you because i like to “borrow” art.

  19. Aunt Jemima

    Horticulture and Whoretitculture are two very different things Brit.

  20. justifiable

    #9.14.20 Thank you all so very , very much. Now, if only I can take the Pratts with me, I’ll die happy.

  21. If you can take the Pratts with you, I’ll die happy..

  22. justifiable

    #23 Murder-suicide pact work for you?

  23. Fuck U

    Doesn’t take much to grow “weed” does it Britney?
    Thank goodness too, or your stupid ass wouldn’t know how to do that either.

  24. #24 I’m in, but let’s do it up RIGHT. First we shiv out her implants and pliers her stupid teeth out, take an axe to at least half her chin, then gouge Spencers eyes out, and tie the two of them together naked in a Jesus Christ pose.

    Then, we will take the easy way out and OD on morphine or something pleasant..

  25. joe m

    Britney earns more money one minute
    than of the jealous losers will earn
    in their lifetime. Wow!

  26. #27 – Hey Joe… grammar much?

  27. mafme

    Well, like they say: You can lead a whore to culture but you can’t make her think.

  28. rich

    Don’t you mean WHOREticulturist

  29. Old Fart

    As Dorothy Parker said, when asked to use the word “horticulture” in a sentence: You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.

  30. justifiable

    #31 Babaloo’s (#10) dad obviously sort of heard of Dorothy.

    #26 Wow, FRIST, you’re just a little stickler for tradition, aintcha? (Please tell me you’re not Dick Cheney).
    Hell, I was just going to hold them captive until the bleach grows out and the teeth go back to their natural color, remove the extensions and implants and release the pictures on the Fish so there’s really only one way out for them, but you wanna kick it old school who am I to stand in your way?

    How about we OD in Paris? What’s good enough for Jim Morrison, ya know?

  31. kate

    This is good. :)

    I’m happy for her, that she’s found something that helps her well-being. I hope she becomes a stronger person and throws off everyone controlling her life. She can be strong and she won’t need her Dad controlling her anymore.

  32. joejoe

    Just remember, Brit: if you water it and it dies, it’s a plant. If you pull it and it grows back, it’s a weed!

  33. jenny

    Wow #7 is a god damn genius!!!!!! Brits growing some ganja I bet. It would help her out a lot if she did.

  34. o.k. folks, YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LAUGH NOW!!

  35. keaty

    is it me or does she completely ruin the whole sexy cop thing and all other sexy costumes.

  36. Gardening IS therapeutic but Britney gardening? Funny picture.

  37. Vernon Decossas

    You can take a person from village but can’t take a village from a person.

  38. arealcad

    you can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.

  39. Free runescape

    Great stuff here….

  40. woooooww very2 thanks to share :Pi always came to visit ur blog

  41. Torie

    What makes people soooooooo F-ing stupid??????? Must be the water..

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