Britney Spears hires a new manny

July 20th, 2006 // 99 Comments
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superficial

  1. She really doesnt care how she comes across as a mother. Talking on the phone while the nanny pushes her child around. Why exactly does she needa nanny to do that?

  2. henrysgirl

    #31, ya know, I was thinking the Manny looked alot like Ben Affleck as “Holden McNeil” from “Chasing Amy”.
    Ben Affleck. What a wuss. He wishes he had a pussy so he could actually give birth. Maybe in his next life he’ll come back as a Seahorse.

  3. hopeless_screenwriter

    @50 I’m glad you found my nightmare humorous. However, If anyone wants to know the secret of getting the smell of ass out their hair.

    *****************
    Buy a bottle of Sno Bol (Extra Strength)
    You know that blue stuff you use to clean the rim of your toilet, and also if used as a hypothermic-blow-dart can kill an elephant.
    ********************

    Pour it in your toilet and all over your head (avoid contact with eyes, I had an old pair of swimming goggles… seemed to work o.k.) stick your head in the toilet and flush like 20 times. That did the trick for me, but it took months to figure out the Sno Bol secret to getting rid of that rank bung!!!!

    Pert and Finesse do not work to alleviate Ass-head!

    Sincerely,
    Hopeless, ) a.k.a Mr. Stinky Skull
    a.k.a Asshead.

  4. Sir Psycho Sexy

    This story would be a lot more interesting if the 70′s porn star happened to be the father of the baby in the stroller, or the one in the bovine fuck sack that Britney calls a uterus.

    Make it so, number one.

    51. If Britney had to take care of a baby without adult supervision, it wouldn’t last a week, duct taped to the bumper of her car, dropped from a ferris wheel, drowned in a jacuzzi, … because she’s ‘cuntry’.

  5. england06

    #51 so true!

    If she wasnt Britney, her child would have been taken away a long time ago by social services, and the other at birth. shes an endangerment to kids. thats not the only reason. she wore a red spandex suit. she should be arrested. ugly fucking hick.

  6. CruisingForCock

    She looks really stoned. Good drugs make me see babies too.

    http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/20/people.remini.ap/index.html

  7. PaisleyMoon

    WOW! Brit looks SOOOO good these days. Her hair is perfect, her skin glowing. Except for the baby bump, she could pose for Playboy. She’s awesomely beautiful and SP is the cutest baby in the world. The only thing missing from these photos is her handome hot hubby. He must have been at work. I love the Federlines! More, more, more!!!

  8. The Nanny looks like Johnny Drama, I guess Arie finally found him a gig?

  9. That’s not Ben; K-Fed is just on the Britney diet.

    OH SNAP!

  10. notadamsandler

    It took Michael Jackson about 15 years to rise to stardom and fall to freakdom. Britney’s gonna do it in 5. Soon she’ll have 12 kids, lose a front tooth, and live in the worlds biggest two story trailer.

    http://ultrarealism.blogspot.com/

  11. ffordegroupie

    So that’s Baby-Catchin’ Man?

    And is it my imagination or does SPF look MUCH more alert in these pics than in many others, where he just looks perpetually stoned? Maybe Britney gives him pot from Poppa Kevin’s stash to keep him from crying, y’all.

  12. SPF is sporting a mohawk, I imagine he’ll have a rat tail in few years so he’ll fit in with the rest of the kids in the trailor park.

  13. amjxray

    @12- italian stallion. oh, just keep us all rolling with those witty comments of yours you FUCKTARD. Get a life, maybe get a fucking job and do something more productive you worthless piece of shit!

  14. I don’t get Stallion at all. He makes jokes about African countries and when someone says “greaseball”, he gets a wedgie or something.

    http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/07/20/nicole_richie_is_malnourished.html#comment-88159

    Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.

  15. pinky_nip

    @63&64: Yeah, you two couldn’t get Stallion if you have a magical vagina.

  16. DonLes91

    *sniff* My feelings are hurt now. How will I finish my day?

  17. DancingQueen

    If memory serves, wasn’t Twitney’s Ben Affleck obsession one of reasons she and Timberfuck broke up in the first place? Maybe she demanded that the manny cut and dye his hair and grow that horribly wrong goatee to look more like good old Ben to fulfill her “fantasy.” Ugh, just made myself puke.

  18. All women should have a manny… and a great sex toy-

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com/sex-toys.htm

  19. nc72

    Justin Timberlake is pussy-whipped! I’m sure he’ll nanny for free.

    http://www.exposay.com/it-was-love-at-first-sight-for-timberlake/v/2757/

  20. januaryanne

    call me a little southern girl but these comments went beyond even my ability to appreciate them – they went from funny to straight up dirty. this is what happens when the superficial starves us from stories. we go all binge and purge up in this joint. it ain’t pretty. come on there’s got to be something about anna nicole smith you can post. COME ON. PLEASE I NEED A STORY.

  21. Italian Stallion

    @63 Who the fuck are you anyway and why do I care. Oh yea, thats right, I don’t. When have you ever contributed something witty or funny to this site? I could give a shit about this fat trick and her fucking manny’s. I had just heard that on the radio and it sounded pretty funny. Ethiopia invading Somalia, I mean come on. I must have offended you by that comment. Let me guess, you were one ugly gene away from picking bananas in some third world country, huh? I have a life and a job fuckface so come up with something a little more clever next time. I’m not the one on here all fucking day leaving fifty fucking comments. I come here during the day when I’m bored at work to get a laugh, so fuck off……………

    @64 I’m not offended at the greaseball comment, I actually find it funny, I was just fucking with that idiot because of the “My family has been here for 200 years” and all that shit. So sorry if you think that of me………………

  22. Of course Shitney has cankles, she eats 43 bags of Cheetos every day. And the only time her son isn’t in jeopardy is when she has that man servant around.

  23. ChickenScratch

    @71 Stallion, add me to your list of chicks that love you.
    You are my hero. You tell them!

  24. Johnny Drama got a job!

  25. give_it_to_me_baby

    everyone seems to be hung up on brit’s weight she is like 6 7 mos pregnant and just had a baby like what 10 mos ago id say shes not doing too bad if she were still thin everyone would just say shes anorexic she just cant win either way

  26. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    28 – That letter was totally fake. If it was real there would be a whole lot more mention of crazy pussy-eating contests in the rainforest canopy, because I’ve vacationed with the Doctor before and that’s how he likes to unwind. Faker!

  27. DancingQueen

    Even before she was pregnant I don’t think anyone would ever mistake Britney for an anorexic. It’s seems like she’s always fought to keep weight off since she was a teenager. She has a pear shaped body and it’s easy to see why she piles on the pounds when she’s walking around drinking the super big gulp sized sodas and frappacinos. You have to give a shit about what actually goes into your body to stay in shape. This heffer obviously does not.

  28. @63 – Wait don’t tell me…you’re SOMALIAN.

  29. bigponie

    @63 if your gonna bitch about someone at least be original “fucktard”, do you even know what it means at your age.

    let me explain in the simplest form.

    fuck = an elongated object with a rounded tip, inserted into a circular\ellipse object followed by a gyration motion

    tard = see “amjxray”

  30. PapaHotNuts

    Q: How do you kill a fly?

    A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a shovel.

  31. pinky_nip

    Q: What’s so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?

    A: You know she’ll swallow.

  32. DonLes91

    Hey, Stallion…FUGGEDABOUDIT! Lol

  33. PapaHotNuts

    @81 You are a racist. I make a joke about flies and shovels, but you had to make fun of a starving person.

  34. pinky_nip

    @83: It’s okay… I can make that joke because I swallow too and I’m not even 1/16th Ethopian. I’m just slutty.

  35. Do Freebird

    Had a dream the other day where I was ramming Mr. Johnson in the only tight hole left in Mrs. Federline. She was screaming “Don’t stop, Please don’t stop” or maybe it was “Stop, please dont, stop please …” what-ever. Anyway, all of a sudden, this tiny little head starts popping out her vagina. Well, I hadn’t finished making my chocolate marshmallow sunday in her rectum, so I start pushing the head back in ……

    All of a sudden, I find myself buck ass naked in a drunken, drug induced stupor, surrounded by NY police, being pulled off of this cheesey statue of Brittany giving birth on all fours holding onto this dead bears head.

    That’s it. I swearing off snorting Crystal Meth, and washing down LSD with a pink of Everclear.

    From not on it’s lime flavored gin. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

  36. Better a manny–or anyone at all, really–than Britney caring for the kid herself. At least the manny won’t drop the kid. Or pose nude in Bazaar.

    http://glossedover.com

  37. @84 – Wait a minute…you don’t have to be a slut to swallow. I swallow all the time and…..

    never mind.

  38. andrewthezeppo

    Um,

    That guy has been her main bodygaurd for like 5 years. He used to have a mustache, seriously he’s been around since like the “Ooops I did it again” days -

    why did I know that *sobs*

  39. DancingQueen

    Notice how we see all these pictures of her with her Mannys and the baby, but never with her Mom. Her family must really hate her for marrying that douche-bag K-Fag. Otherwise why wouldn’t we see her Mom with her once in awhile while she’s out walking around with her underwear hanging out and being a bad mother?

  40. She’s most likely on the phone to White Castle to make sure she doesn’t have to wait for her bag of sliders once they get there.

  41. hopeless_screenwriter

    @81 & 81

    Ethiopian 14 year old has mid-life crisis.

    **********************
    That one may take a minute to sink in.
    ******************

    Hopeless

  42. hopeless_screenwriter

    @81 & 81

    Ethiopian 14 year old has mid-life crisis.

    **********************
    That one may take a minute to sink in.
    ******************

    Hopeless

  43. hopeless_screenwriter

    sorry about the double post. sucks

  44. #10, LOL!!!!!!

  45. She’s so heinous.

  46. biatcho

    She spends the past year lugging this fat kid around in her arms like a bobble-head doll, tripping over cracks in the sidewalks & almost killing him and NOW that she finally invested in a stroller she hires someone to push it around for her?
    Lazy good-for-nothing fat pig trashfuck.

  47. cdagress

    Britney is sexy

  48. A Nobody

    What’s with white trash chicks and cell phones?

  49. I totally agree – leave the poor girl alone! The earlier mistakes (i.e. the car seat issues) were dumb – but stumbling? I must do this 20 times a day! Cut the girl some slack! At least she’s WITH her kids and not leaving them behind like countless other celebs!

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