Britney Spears hates Kevin Federline

June 21st, 2006 // 187 Comments
britney-spears-federline-on-beach.jpg

Despite telling Matt Lauer her marriage is awesome, Britney Spears rented two houses during her recent vacation to Florida so she wouldn’t have to stay together with Kevin Federline. In Touch Weekly reports they spent $250,000 for the trip to Aqua Island and, except for appearing once on the beach together with Sean Preston, stayed pretty much away from each other the entire trip.

superficial

  1. jane's eyre

    BigJim, you rock.

  2. spanglish

    the tabloids get a kick out of showing pictures of:

    here’s Britney hot – - here’s Britney now
    here’s Britney hot – - ooops there went Sean Preston!
    here’s Britney hot – - here’s Federline looking like a wigger
    here’s Britney hot – - here’s Britney wiping her nose up her arm
    here’s Britney hot – - here’s Britney with her fake eyelash hanging

    Does anyone else think federline looks like a white Snoop Dogg?

  3. Jacq

    #50 – Has anyone ever told you you’re a real Mudder Fudder?

  4. superstar26

    #52 They both are just skinny and walk with that goofy ‘jive’

  5. Jacq

    Sorry that was lame. I was reaching. Spank me. Hard.

  6. Fugurself

    i want a woman that will leave me swollen and bruised.
    i want a woman who will make me need stitches.
    i want a woman that will throw all my gucci stuff,
    my canali shirts and my leather things in the bath tub and pour bleach over them.
    i want a woman that will wear me out.
    i want to wake up the next day with my digs trashed,
    my best paintings i worked on the past ten years slashed
    and the windshield on my new sedan deville, busted out.
    i want her pie and chips to be so good that i won’t even care that she did those awful things.
    i will lay in bed smoking some good smoke, trying to figure out how to get her to come back again.
    i want that whale, Britney Spears!!

  7. PapaHotNuts

    One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with Kevin Federline. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

    In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

    This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to Kevin Federline,

  8. Jacq

    #57 – ROTFL SOM

  9. Chicagoboy

    #57 [Applause] bravo, Papa, bravo

  10. TrannyGranny

    How long before she swims into the sunset, with Captain Ahab tied to her dorsal fin?

  11. spanglish

    Britney needs to throw his ass out, but she knows that it will just bring her more publicity. Instead she is going to keep him as a “kept husband,” so can go see him when she’s horny and get knocked up again when this next baby is a few months old.

  12. spanglish

    #57 best use of a religious poem in a superfish comment

  13. CruisingForCock

    57 No one does it like Papa does it. He’s country.

  14. Fugurself

    @50 be sure there is nobody called Cheney hunting in the neighborhood

  15. #10 – Considering the precedents set by the sex tape fiascoes of Pam Anderson and Paris Hilton – I say Britney had nothing to lose if that’s what she’s worried about. Considering the wonders he’s done for her image, she has no way to go but up!

  16. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Papa, you make me moist like SPF’s diaper, or K-Feds FUBU boxer-briefs.

  17. Italian Stallion

    Sing it with me:

    Kumbaya Papa Kumbaya………
    Kumbaya Papa Kumbaya………

  18. CruisingForCock

    Stallion, you’re funny too. We’ll sing one for you as well. It just won’t rhyme as well.

    MeganHarris is a tool.

  19. SpecialAgentWind

    @#31 – Don’t forget Taking the Browns to the Superbowl

  20. pinky_nip

    My legs part for papa like that dude Moses workin’ the sea.

  21. spanglish

    I think he’s cheated on her, probably multiple times, and she doesn’t want everyone to know. But what did she expect when he cheated on Shar (or whatever her name was) to go out with her. And I’m sorry, but if you’re dating her and she’s had two kids by you (or currently knocked up by you), that’s as good as being married. And supposedly Britney cheated on Justin, so she got what was coming to her.

    So he gets to live in luxury and lay around so that she isn’t totally humiliated. But what Britney doesn’t get is that everyone wants her to dump him.

    *whispers* “Britney, that would be a GOOD thing.”

    She should have told Matt Lauer how it really was, did her crying, and asked for help, instead of crying and pretending everything was peachy.

    Britney, don’t do the country thing this time. Don’t stand by your man.

  22. PapaHotNuts

    Mass at 11:00 am at the Church of The Worthless Miracle, followed by a mass orgy and then the weekly “Topless Nun” dance contest. Sister Margaret better tigten her thong because Sister Francis is going to bring it this week. She claims it has already been “broughten” by the Lord, but Jesus ain’t the one puttin’ them dollar bills in her panties.

  23. Walnuts

    meganharris
    ryan69
    zuigdrmrop
    twzzlrgirl
    jacq
    libtard
    sissybelle
    worldwidewendy
    tourettesguyswifeSHIRLENA
    proteon
    sabahat
    joboo
    haroof
    ob1

    And today’s newest members of the fucktard club…….

    OKIEDOKIE and STARMAKER

    Congrats you brainless fucks!!

  24. pinky_nip

    @72: I’d consider tithing at that church.

  25. Aimtrue

    K-Fed must be loving this. I mean he enjoys all the spoils of BS wealth and fame(sure you can debate if you would want that, but he must). He gets some loving from her- she defends him on national television-He does not even have to defend himself-then she gets him a separate vacation home to do whatever he wants in- He must be thinking there is no downside to this. BS would gain points if she just filed for divorce and said the guy is a no good, lazy punk.

  26. nightshirt

    my heart is really broken for that little SP. arent you supposed to t-shirt an infant when in the sun? really – i could cry.

  27. Land-Man

    I wish she’d rent a 3rd house for Land-Fed. I have some vacation time coming up.

  28. spanglish

    Maybe Angelina will see his plight and adopt him.

  29. tallcoolone

    Someone please comment on the tacky flower (?) on her hat.

  30. Fugurself

    @72

    We should call it the “X for Christ” church

    We should have a large BUYBULL that you, sister Jacq or pinky_nip can’t read or understand

    And at the beginning of every service Itallian Stallion will shout “Praise CHEESES”

  31. CruisingForCock

    73 What the fuck is up with the list? And why is Jacq on it? Please keep your list to yourself. Feel free to add me to it you stupid fat bastard.

  32. soccerdiva26

    I just want to say that Britney Spears does not represent everyone from the country. Some of us were not dipped in the shallow end of the gene pool. And I am going to comment on the statement “those cunt-ry girls don’t generally have big dreams.” I am a country girl, born and raised in Franklinton, LA. I am married and have 3 childern. With all this I also have my Masters Degree in Medical Technology and a Louisiana Real Estate License. So not everyone who is country is braindead lossers. So pick your generalizations carefully.

  33. Jacq

    Hey WALNUTS! Here’s one for you since I’m such a fucktard!
    EAT THE CORN OUT OF MY SHIT!

    #72 – Is it ok to screw in the confessional? Even if you’re not drunk on communion wine?

    #79 – I think someone just did. :)

  34. Jacq

    Can Edna Bambrick come to our new church?

  35. Jacq

    Jacq’s Dumb Motherfucker List:

    Walnuts.

    The end.

  36. spatz

    and who pray tell “walnuts” are you to be concocting such lists?

  37. ms0pinion8ed

    $250,000 on a trip to Flordia.. she better be staying there more than a month, wtf?

  38. Chicagoboy

    #85 Most of us know that you aren’t a fucktard. and the ones that don’t are just clueless assholes. Named walnuts.

  39. bigponie

    yoooohooooooo fuck-ya, I can finally listen to howard on-line, now I get to do even less work… fuck-ya yooooohoooooooo

  40. Jacq

    I heart my peeps.

    My favorite topping? You guessed it – crushed walnuts.

    Why is she shelling out all of that cash to stay wherever they went? She OWNS a place in Destin. Here’s a tip, stay there for FREE. YOU OWN IT. Seriously, it’s a few doors down from my friend’s grandmother’s super-duper nice place. No shit.

  41. BoredStiff

    @82 I don’t think having a Louisiana state real estate license and incorrectly spelling “loosers” gets you into Mensa anymore!

  42. Fugurself

    @91 Brilliant. Hehehehehehehehe

  43. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    soccerdiva, I would like plastic today, not paper. But thank you for asking.

  44. Jacq

    #91 – Do they really call them “childern” in LA? I thought the correct term was young’uns.

  45. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Beaver-shots are good for the cuntry. This was concluded from a national pole.

  46. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    94 – I call them ‘yew dumb lil’ nayggers’

  47. BoredStiff

    @94 I imagine it’s kind of tough growing up in LA. when your Mother and father are brothers.

  48. Jacq

    I bet jrzmommy and soccerdiva are friends.

  49. okiedoke

    @73

    who are you again? Oh right, it doesn’t matter.

  50. BoredStiff

    @ 98 I think they “clean each others’ carpets”

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