Britney Spears allegedly hooked up with some guy in Hawaii and supposedly their encounter was videotaped. The Sun reports:
The man in question says he met the singer on holiday in June and taped their alleged night of lust in Britney’s hotel room.
However, according to the unnamed man, the romp was a bit of a damp squib.
He reportedly told a US magazine: “It was just normal sex, we didn’t do anything crazy. It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out.”
So the last sex tape The Sun reported on turned out to be a joke. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is as well. The video will turn out to be some unfunny comedian, like, I dunno, anyone on SNL, doing a bag of Cheetos. Which is ironically how I imagine sex with Britney is like: Sad, awkward and with a lot of crumbs afterwards. Just thinking about this makes me want to sob uncontrollably in the shower while I scrub off a layer of skin. Where did those crumbs come from? Oh God, must scrub harder.