Britney Spears has a secret

February 17th, 2010 // 74 Comments

Britney Spears has some sensitive information to hide and it’s not the fact that there’s no way these latest Candies pics were taken recently or outside of a virtual reality. TMZ reports:

Lawyers for Britney Spears’ conservatorship have made their move to keep confidential “critical information” about Britney and her children.
The information is so sensitive the lawyers note on the open market “The possibility of such enormous profits presents a substantial risk that Ms. Spears’ most confidential medical and personal information will be disclosed.”
So the attorneys want the sensitive info about Britney, Sean Preston and Jayden James sealed, and stat.

Is this about the time she covered her kids in BBQ sauce and tried to grill them? Because no one’s really going to be floored by that one. The only surprising information that could possibly come out of these medical reports is finding out Sean and Jayden are not only up-to-date on their vaccinations but were never once hospitalized after getting stuck in a chimney because “Mama wanted us to steal Santa’s sack of toys.”

Photos: Candies
superficial

  1. Mike Nike

    Leave Britney Alone (insert tears here and crying like a gay-boy)

  2. Anon

    Did she buy them from africa?

  3. Anon

    Did she buy them from africa?

  4. Anon

    Bloody website. Made me post it twice.

  5. Richard McBeef

    The are all HIV+.

    Bet you 5 bucks.

  6. KIKI

    The secret is that she never sang her own songs, Milli Vanilli style.

  7. It appears that Britney is not short of sponsors and she looks great! I saw some of the video from the shoot and she was on the money. She’s an entertainer, she has a very loyal fan base and she’s incredibly hot. She doesn’t have to work, her concert tour was a big financial success. I guess some people have a hard time with that. As far as this “sensitive” info is concerned, it sounds “invented”.

  8. John

    The secret is that she had her kids’ blood surgically replaced with buffalo sauce to marinate.

  9. Anon

    She sexually abuses them.
    It’s believable. She practically masturbates in front of young girls when shes on stage “dancing”

  10. Hate secrets

    Hermaphrodite?

  11. test

    @5 Yeah, i thought the same thing.

    @6 That´s a fact not a secret

  12. liam

    LMAO I saw pics of brit the other day and she was fat. These pics are photoshopped to hell. She hasn’t looked like that since 1999.

  13. whiskey

    I would put money not on HIV, but that she still breastfeeds.

    Look at those nipples. She’s got a fetish, and it involves breastfeeding until they are in their teens. Lucky bastards.

  14. Howdy

    The kids look kinda down syndrom.

  15. whiskey

    It isn’t HIV. Look at those nipples. She still breastfeeds! And she will until they are in their teens. (Lucky bastards.)

  16. Jade

    Dang you all are ignorant and just plain mean. She has come a long way and I think she looks great. Should everyone’s private life be personal? Stop hating…just sayin…

  17. Yay! More Britney Please!

    Oh yeah! I love me some batshit Britney covered in secret sauce.

    But you’ve got to admit, she’s smoking hot in these pics.

  18. Listen, when 33% + of adults have some kind of STD, you can bet these over-sexualized stars ALL have something because they are surrounded by sex everywhere they go. Might be simple like herpes or HPV, or serious like HIV or Hepatitis. Anytime you hear someone talking about keeping medical records secret, it’s about STD’s. No one cares about your stomach ulcer or bunions or bad back. STD’s are a damage to your sexually appealing image though.

  19. Mal Gusto

    #5 nailed it. The kids are HIV+ and one or both are not K-Fed’s

  20. ian

    I’ll give 4 to 1 on HIV but’ll I’ll only give you 2 to 1 on HepC.

  21. Arrrr

    Whatever! Britney is back and looking great! I hope the best for her!!!

  22. EuroNeckPain

    The position of the head is wrong. It doesn’t line up with the rest of the body.
    The artists did not paste it right.

  23. ohhowsplendid

    Candie’s made a grammatical error.

    Do you <3 BRITS LOOKS?

    I think they mean Brit’s.

    Apostrophe.

  24. bbmaggee

    #14.. I concur. I bet it was some sort of “mama’s use of drugs” induced mental retardation.

    I think if it was the hiv Kevin’s ex would have somehow made that her buisiness and leaked the info.

  25. yuki

    secret = her brain is actually a large bag of cheetos dust.

  26. leid-girl

    WAAHAHAHAH

    Look at the second picture. her tummy DOES NOT have those muscles.
    Her thighs are bigger, and her face is plumper. She isn’t even that tan nor toned.

    NOW…look at the first pic..the final photoshopped edited pic.

    Wow…….the editor did a GREAT job adding a tonned tummy, tan, and slimmed, pointy chinned face on Britney!!!!!

    Thank God for photoshop………………..man, that company wrote a good program!!

  27. just another girl

    KIKI – February 17, 2010 1:09 PM

    The secret is that she never sang her own songs, Milli Vanilli style.

    *****************

    Did you read that CDAN blind item too??? I read that right before she had her meltdown and always thought it was her.

  28. What a stupid little whore...

    The “secret” is that she’s got HIV, and so do her kids. Stupid little slut fucked a bunch of dudes, and one of them gave her HIV, which she passed on to her sons. If this got out, she’d lose all her fans (with the possible exception of the gay audience, and they may dump her as well). What a stupid little whore…

  29. Fookin' Lawyers

    Why would they put this info out there, unless they WANTED someone to try to ferret it out? Her lawyers have now created a shitstorm around her med recs by even having anything to say about this. Publicity stunt?
    Sometimes I actually feel sorry for her.

  30. Oh come on...

    She looks like Jessica Simpson about 10 years ago. I had to look at the caption to see who this was, and when it was supposed to be from. Ain’t NO WAY that’s a recent Britney pic.

    #8, that is the best comment I’ve read today. Hahahahahaha!

    Still, the whole damn thing is just sad.

  31. Fake Shitney Pics

    Why do companies insist on faking pictures of shitney? Everyone & their mother knows the dumbass headshaving leg-spread slut hasn’t looked like this since she was 16…

  32. legalstunt4show

    TMZ (ever so reliable) buys and sells court documents, photos, medical documents to lawyers, her ex-spouse (who act clueless) and vice versa? She paid to a dumb, deaf, mute and blind lawyers (no wonder she cannot handle, right)? If you filed for divorce, you already cannot tolerated each other and you have a man (that ONLY hooligans and men with issues with women will defend) who still used excuses to be with his first ex through kids (just to be away from home) when married to Britney, now used kids to live off woman with lawyers and judges preying on the same fame and fortune?

    After getting his huge payout and no longer need to hide behind his lawyers, – “Mr judge, that insane woman I divorced can spend as much time with the kids, good for her mental illness, I am very busy with fucking, golfing, partying with the huge payout received from my lawyer every month. Any problem, put the blame on the incompetency of the psychiatrist, doctor and her conservators just like MJ case” This is a kind of man who treated his marriage lightly, zero respect for women he married and you can bet if he can still attract a rich, lonely, young and famous woman, he will make off with whatever it takes! In 2007, he already made zero effort for a reconciliation with lawyers guaranteed of a huge payout using kids and a mother-in-law soured relationship with her daughter, ever willing to call him a “good man to sell her story” (no wonder, Britney accused the mum of fucking and being con by him)!

    With a legal system that works against the rich for that this kind of unscrupulous poor man, what is this different from extorting the rich? Use kids to exploit their mother and that’s legal protection for them? Besides, insanity, bipolar, now add a HIV record for the kids? Why don’t claim the 2 kids are not even Mr Kfed? Sean, a breed btw JR and Britney, Jayden, a breed btw Britney and Jason, with that wavy, blond hair!

  33. photoshop much?

    Everyone knows Brit hasn’t looked like this for ages. Hell, she NEVER looked this skinny in fact, she never was the thin type–it’s just that she was fit and athletic-looking at her prime, but she never was model thin.
    Even if you wanna photoshop her, at least do it more subtly.

  34. Nicole

    Oh my god, get the fuck over it guys. If you don’t like her don’t post shit about her. Remember the old saying, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?
    Seriously.

  35. we're superficial

    Nicole, this site is called the Superficial. If we don’t like how she looks we’ll point it out.

  36. get real

    Wow. Photoshop overkill

  37. Brit looks great!

    She looks incredible! I hope that there is nothing too terribly wrong with her or her kids. I would say that she may have some sort of mental illness such as schizophrenia or manic depression. Luckily those are treatable, but it would be wise for her to remain in the care of others who truly have her best interests at heart. I really love Britney, as crazy as she may actually be she’s not pretentious and is very much herself. And in an industry of phonies, it is refreshing to see anyone who is for any reason willing to be real.

  38. shhhdon'ttell

    I hate 2 say it, but I believe it’s hiv as well. It’s been hush shush rumors for a couple of years now about how many stars in hollywood have it.

    Sad but true, just think about the incestous relationships these people have… in some nasty way they have been in close contact with each other and if 1 gets found out then they all will- which is why their have been no repoted incidents.

    Come on now- look at how hiv is in the “regular” population u think it’s not happenin in hollywood?

  39. Nicole

    @36 Yeah, this is a great website. And I mean that, I love it. Thats why i come onto it, but it just gets a bit old with everyone bagging britney all the time! She’s trying to get her life back on track and all people try to do is bring her down.

  40. Boxy Brown

    Why the fuck do you idiots come to a website entitled “The SUPERFICIAL” and complain about people being mean or superficial? Stop bitching and go back to your hugbox.

  41. All that was known was that their album artwork was that of a mythical jackalope, leaving the people behind this piece of electronic pop/rock genius a huge mystery. Later, it was revealed that the band was the product of a trio of Swedish friends, singer/songwriter Andrew Wyatt and production duo Christian Karlsson and Pontus Winnberg (more commonly known as Bloodshy & Avant, the Grammy winning team responsible for Britney Spears’ megahit “Toxic”)

  42. Nicole

    Boxy Brown, I’m not insulting the website or the content. I’m saying people need to lay off Britney.
    Oh, and ‘hugbox?’ Lols.

  43. allinejore

    does anybody know what the crap is up with the “britney spears has a secret” thing? i saw a countdown on britneyspears.com that said like 14000 days… what is it?

    http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/advanced-acai-review-does-advanced-acai-really-work-1778693.html

  44. Tire Swing

    I’m not sure who has less command of basic English: TMZ or Britney’s lawyers.

  45. anon

    Well HIV is one way to keep your weight down.

  46. Doc Schweinstrudel

    No, she doesn’t look overly thin, in pic 1 at least. I believe it is her actual figure. I love the jeans with zippers on a side she poses in.
    Aids? Why such a venom on the poor kids, they are innocent.

  47. hold5150

    Sensitive legal shit or the sensitive medical information? The legal document were being requested to be sealed by her first lawyer, whereby whatever shit Britney had been, the jerk deserves NOTHING, given a 50/50 with childcare support was a TOTAL LEGAL JOKE in 2007 because this shitty man has to work to feed his blackie wife and 2 blackie kids he dumped! Which right mind man married a black woman or was it marry to the famous “Jackson” name?

    A father who wanted to be paid to babysit his own kids, demanded for full custodian rights without the need to be 24/7 with kids after claiming his ex-spouse medically unfit and insane? Where is the responsibility of a SANE man and where are his own irresponsible parents who never teach him what marriage is all about? How convenient it is to claim “kids need their mother”! If you know “kids need their mother”, why the fight over kids? Why don’t pay back 10 times whatever that had been extorted? Kids do not come packaged with dollars so why the legal extortion through kids?

    Monitored visitations to exploit someone famous, with all her whereabouts being kept under surveillance through use of kids, bg and nannies who wait to be sacked to sell their story? Why not drag the kids to court weekly, monthly to check which parent they want to be with till they ended up in a 5150 hold? Insane or driven to insanity? Since Mr Kfed such a GREAT man, there should be no shortage of GREAT rich American women for him including women’s lawyers, journalist, ever willing to buy his story like how they bought Lynn Spear’s story? Buy story through psychiatrist, doctors, knowing all the juicy details of how many men she slept with using HIV to trace? It’s more likely Mr Kfed need to be tested, stuck with a lawyers’ paid woman he can’t f–ked for 2 yrs!

  48. It is pedo bear on her?

  49. cathy3243

    Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at- Agemingle @ co–m a nice and free site for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.

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