Britney Spears is somehow meeting men

November 18th, 2008 // 59 Comments

Britney Spears, despite being legally insane, went out on a date last night with a mystery man at Sur in Los Angeles. This has to be a kick in the birth canal for all the sane women out there who know that children aren’t an end table for your cellphone yet still can’t find a man. Ladies, I’m here for you – provided you don’t try to change me and make me wear pants. Can’t you just love me for who I am? *sniff* I’m going to my mother’s.


  1. mimi

    Britney is doing GREAT!

    Must be hard to continue to bash someone on their way UP…

    but FISH is an ass-wipe!

  2. mimi

    Oh… and FIRST… all you Britney hating a-holes!

  3. Sigfa

    Someone get this woman an eyebrow comb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. RoflcerOfTheLawl

    I see a sex tape sold for a mil in the future.

  5. Anonymous

    Hey mimi……..HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! On the way up!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You Britards kill me!!

  6. Mia

    He must be gay…

  7. Rome

    She has tremendously improved in the looks-department, but those eyebrows are fucking killing me…

    Also, the dude is hot, great hair, but he looks like she has got at least five years on him. Gold-digging motherfucker. Literally.

  8. Erica

    So Britney has become a fag hag. Seriously look at the last picture – hag on the left, very handsome fag on the right.

  9. Sunflower

    Nice bracelets there buddy. Is he related to Criss Angel?

  10. Smile

    That’s not a man, it’s a boy. Looking for a mother figure. Ummmmm, milfy….

  11. anonymous gay man

    “So, yeah, I kinda hit rock bottom when I went out on a date with this retarded chick. Eyes five miles apart. Got droppings from her dinner all over her clothes. When she started speaking with a British accent I said I had to go to the men’s room and I ended up sucking the first cock I could grab in there. It was then that I knew I couldn’t be with women anymore.”

  12. le fag

    He has an iPhone 2G. That was so six months ago. Upgrade your phone and your choice in ladies.

  13. Fernanado Narcos

    mimi-You know,I feel sorry for you,being so fucking invested in some dope addled retard’s life like you are.It must be awful to have that pathetic a life.

  14. Kim Carnes

    She’ll let you take her home
    It whets her appetite
    She’ll lay you on her throne
    She got catfish eyes
    She’ll take a tumble on you
    Roll you like you were dice
    Until you come out blue
    She’s got catfish eyes

  15. maitre d'

    Ah yes, the tall dark handsome bottomboy and the exquisite lady with the extra chromosome…we’ve been expecting you!

  16. Anon

    Christ if a woman turned up to a date with me and put that little effort into looking good and dressing up for it she wouldn’t see me again.

    Especially when I know she can scrub up nice.

    (scrub up-photoshop whatever)

  17. Mike

    She’s dating Jose Canseco? Perfect.

  18. mimi

    Anonymous – you must be very sucessful…



  19. mONKeY

    Go Brit! He’s Smokin!!
    She is doing quite well for herself..
    can we say jealous much???? lol bunch of FaT losers on here hahahahaha
    Her and her new boy toy are 100 times better looking then any one on here AND she makes 100+ times more $$$.
    Pathetic people amuse me :)

  20. AG

    He looks like a gigolo.

  21. Max Planck

    I hear that this septic tank is going to light the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. Will that be with or without undies?

  22. Britney

    “Honestly, I have no idea where I got the HIV!!! But I’ll do everything I can to make sure my kids don’t—-oh fuck, now they’re HIV+ too. How’d that happen? Maybe from the hives. You know, hives, hiv, same thing, basically.”

  23. Anon

    Damn, I got insulted by a britard.

    If only I cared what mimi thought.

    hahaha…whats the point. she/he can’t read

  24. jzz

    wow he looks like an asshole.
    ugly as fuck.

  25. I heard that she appeared on a millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^ ^^^^with a personal account there. Maybe you have the chance to talk to her online or meet some celebrities there. It is amazing.

  26. crankymiss

    The guy has short legs!
    Not my type.

    And he looks cross-eyed, although I love the Latino look. I think I’m going to bed real soon…

  27. n

    he’s hot but i think a touch gay.

  28. Cindy

    He’s a prostate-touch gay.

  29. Vince Lombardi

    Of course he’s gay…. he’s David Hasselhoff, Jr.

  30. Jo Mama

    Skinny lil fuck ain’t he?

  31. Massa'

    Birock Obomma is using dark make-up in interviews and photo shoots so he looks more like a pure-bred Porch Monkey instead of the oreo he usually looks like. He’s trying to appeal more to all the ghetto darkies that voted for his coon ass, so they’ll still think he’s gonna pay their rent.

  32. boring

    #31 blah blah blah zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  33. michelle

    insane people can still date. i’m surprised papa spears wasn’t hiding out in the bushes.

    i think brit is doing well.

  34. Me 2

    What is up with those eyebrows????

    Whoever he is, he just kissed his privacy good-bye.

  35. observer

    To break the ice, he told Britney “you know, when you get a blowjob, it makes your whole day, but when you get anal sex, it makes your hole weak” and then he started to cry.

  36. I don’t care either way but….
    2nd pic, is it me, or does she look like she somehow developed down’s syndrome?

  37. Shawn

    She must really like the guy. She put on a bra and everything.

  38. lulu

    YUM! He’s HOT!!! go get ‘em brit!

  39. Buffy

    He has eyes like Wonky McValtrex (aka Paris Hilton)

  40. Thats a whoooolata baggage right there!!! good luck buddy…

  41. Zane

    Imagine how much semen you could land between her eyes.

  42. wonder if miniememe going to make another “leave Britney alone ” video!

  43. Ssssss

    Where does she dig these guys up? She’s under constant supervision and she still manages to find herself another guy who resembles an oily, slithery snake on two legs. Kevin Federline, wigga snake — Adnan Ghalib, Muslim pap snake — this guy, gay gigolo who will occasionally loan himself out to famous women for money snake. Way to go Britney.

  44. Shit For Brains

    Probably lots, Zane.
    Your question was riveting and timely.

  45. Sport

    Just ask yourself:
    Would a normal dude, with no issues and NOT a golddigger, EVER go out with Britney?

    Nice try there Rico Suave.

  46. mimi

    Anon –

    Damn, it’s hard to take someone seriously who has no name.

    Get a life… get a name… get a brain.

  47. mimi

    Rough Daddy – no… no video…

    Go aim for the toilet… that should keep you busy for a couple hours.

  48. mimi

    Sport –

    Just ask yourself:

    Would a normal person, with no issues EVER give a dam about someone who only gets off by putting people down?

  49. TheWickedWitchOfTheWest

    The caterpillar eyebrows could be throwing me off…but her right tit appears to be freakish larger than the left one. Maybe she forgot to put in both cutlets when she rolled out of the dumpster?

  50. TheWickedWitchOfTheWest

    that would be freakishly*

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