Britney Spears has a mystery man

May 15th, 2006 // 110 Comments

  1. suzy

    lol @#16

    and he looks responsible too!!

    I mean, I’ve never see “KFed” even HOLD Sean P.

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with any of his kids… and that people’s cover doesn’t count!

  2. BigJim

    Re: The he’s not bad comment…

    Quasimoto looks good compared to K-Fed.

  3. sweetcheeks

    I remember when that dude was pledging, and he had to stick a banana in his ass and let the “brothers” peel it with their teeth, and he cried a lot and they put mayonnaise on his nipples and called him an ugly girl.

    Oh, wait… maybe he wasn’t pledging. Maybe it was that gay porno I was watching. I gotta quit that.

  4. CrazyBrunette

    The baby is quite cute(considering that astound look on his face).Give britney some credit the kid is dressed decently not like her shitface husband who thinks he’s the next eminem.

  5. 86

    No no no guys, that’s Danny Bonaduce’s son.

  6. Jacq

    #32 – Something tells me that you’re a fatty!

    Tsarinaamanda – I heart using the word asshat, ergo I heart you. :)

  7. pinky_nip

    How many “shotguns” does this kid get in a day? He always looks like he’s completely STONED in every picture I’ve seen.

  8. CrazyBrunette

    I have actually never seen that kid smile.Except the ones when he was a few days old but he didnt know what life was waiting for him back then.Poor thing!

  9. He looks kind of funny, but I never knew there were even such jobs such as male nannies. Now there is a use for the changing tables in men’s bathrooms. I always thought it was to get more leverage to piss farther that way you didn’t have splashback from the urinals.

    Guess I was wrong -

    here are some more pictures of this mysterious flaming red haired large nosed man.

    He looks like a real winner. Much more so than her current husband, Kfed the homo.

  10. shankyouverymuch

    That’s so fuckin

  11. xannalvzhallax

    For Gods sake calm down, what is she not allowed to be snapped with a different guy other than Kevin?! It’s probabaly just her friend so stop making a big deal about nothing, just because you havn’t got anything else to post on this page.

  12. Laurie

    She’s 5 months along?! Isn’t her other kid like only 7-8 months? That is some fast Irish twins there Britney.

  13. Shelley Bonnechance

    This young man appears to be groomed, is wearing real clothes and doesn’t have that vacant, stoned look in his eye. He kind of resembles Prince Harry, who I think is really hot in a scary, old-enough-to-be-his-mum kind of way.

    Trade up, Britney!

  14. Errrika

    HOly shit, isn’t that Lyle Lovett?

  15. gogoboots

    I think that’s her cousin…we can only hope Brits is cheating on K-LOSER!

  16. Lipgloss Assassin

    new low: making fun of a baby.

    granted, there are some fucked up looking infants, but he’s still a baby.

    he’s got years to grow into those “retard eyes” (stupid comment, btw #49. I hope your kids have hooves)

    there’s no hope for britney. pray for Sean Preston

    if you’re an atheist, just kidnap the poor bastard. you’d be doing him a favor

  17. bxmona

    Could that be her brother folks?

  18. Jacq

    #66 – How dare you call him a bastard! They were married when she got pregnant! Obviously you’re new here. That’s a relative high – you missed the thread about punching a pregnant Gwyneth Paltrow in the stomach. Aaaah, those were the days. It’s a sad truth that ugly babies DO exist. Take, well, Apple for example.

  19. DancingQueen

    “Here can you hold this, I need to have a cigarette ya’ll.”

  20. Wild Rose

    Like Shelley Bonnechance, America’s “Pop Princess” has always had a thing for Prince Harry, perhaps even going as far as hoping she could one day marry into England’s Royal Family. Alas, being of puny brains and total lack of foresight, she settled for a useless sack of shit with ZERO CLASS to breed with. Let’s only hope this guy is K-Fed’s replacement!

  21. tamtamtam

    #37 — asshat?! hahahahahaha. you rule!

  22. krisdylee

    ooooohhhh, I know who he is… A really bad Prince Harry impersonator.

  23. PapaHotNuts

    That guy found the baby in the lost and found at Wal-Mart.

  24. 86

    and now he’s giving her a complimentary carry-out. She’s gonna give him a buck.

  25. andrewthezeppo

    can you say UPGRADE!

  26. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    I think he looks like a thinner Samwise Gamgee.

    “Don’t you lose him, Samwise Gamgee, and I don’t mean to. I don’t mean to.”

  27. 86

    God I wish she’d get hot again. It was so fun hating her. Now I just feel sorry for her, and that’s no fun for me.

  28. iambananas

    He’s cutier than K-Mooch… but that’s not saying much.


  29. Shelley Bonnechance

    I don’t think Sean Preston looks retarded – I think he just looks like a baby. Babies aren’t really all that big into philosophy or world economics or the grotesque Fellini/Hatfield/McCoy comedy that is their home life with the families they were birthed into, so I never really expect them to have all that much facial expression.

    Most of the time, they’re probably just thinking, “Milk?…naaah. Nap?…Not sleepy. Steaming diaper full of mushy poop that will seep out of my romper, up my back and into my hair, necessitating a complete bath for me and a Jack-and-Coke for mum?…[grunt]“

  30. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Remember our deal, people. Remember.

  31. Feed_Me_Chocolate


    tee hee! It’s obvious you’ve had a baby. During my baby’s first sponge bath, my mom and I had him on the kitchen counter on a cushy bath mat, and he decided to launch an explosive bowel movement assault, that shot out at high speed and hit the toaster. We promptly took a picture to bring out for the future key moment when he’s brought his girlfriend over to meet us. Fun times.

  32. spatz

    #66 youre an idiot. dont defend britney spears or any of her spawn to me. sadly, all of kfeds children have this vacant, i’ve been dropped on my head one too many times looks in their eyes. i cant help it.

    so its ok to say something horrible about MY kids its not ok to call out britney spears kid for having a retarded looking face? your fucking dillustional.

    id say something about your kids but i bet your womb is a barren, cobweb filled lonely place.

  33. spatz

    *dillusional. sorry.

  34. PapaHotNuts

    @ 80 – I remember. Do not respond to it.

  35. Feed_Me_Chocolate


    Ha ha! This is why I love the Superfish. Where else do you get the opportunity to say, “deliciously cunty”, “TCLTC”, or, “your womb is a barren, cobweb filled lonely place”?

    Tom Cruise Loves a Barren, Cobweb-filled Womb. (because he really prefers the cock).

  36. Someone told Brit to “go fly a kite” but she had cheeto dust in her ears and heard “go try a kike.”

    I think I’ve been reading too many Land-Man comments. I need to kick him in his Land-Vag.

  37. Jacq

    #81 – I love it! You’re already planning how to embarrass him! My mom danced in the mall and I thought THAT was bad.

    One of my parents favorite stories to tell about me is when the “church lady” came by the house one day to visit with my mom. I disappeared while they were talking and got really quiet. A short time later, I came down the hall with the toilet brush. I had been scrubbing the toilet. (P.S. that was the last time I did housework).
    My brother got himself locked out of the sliding glass door in the back of the house when he was about 18 months old. He went around the house and began to hit the front door. My dad asked, “Who is it?” His reply: “Oten the dan door!”
    I love kids, they’ll embarrass the fuck out of you.

  38. Jacq

    #86 – It’s actually an Air Cock.

    God, I love it here!

  39. NoraBalora

    Say what you want about Britney but that baby is adorable!

  40. Captain Awesome

    The comments today are fucking lame. Superficial, you have failed me today

    Ye have gone flat!

  41. Feed_Me_Chocolate


    Most creatures in the animal kingdom have cute babies, whether or not they grow up to be beautiful or not, so it’s not that big of a deal that this baby too is cute.

    Exhibit A: The hyena cub

    See? Hyenas are in my opinion, some of the fugliest animals ever. But they baby’s not that bad, huh?

  42. gammanormids

    OMG! There is an hilarious picture of her in PerezHilton, with SP looking so unconscious at the back seat :)

    I forgot to call you yesterday, Brit!! Happy Mother’s day, to the best mother ever!

  43. Feed_Me_Chocolate


    ha haaaaa!
    Oten the dan door. Great!

  44. Jacq

    I would imagine that the only guy Britney cheats on Kevin with is Chester Cheetah. If the next kid comes out orange and walking on all fours, he may be the father (or it may just be that she gave birth to Jessica Simpson). One website recommends that you use chopsticks to avoid the tell-tale “cheeto fingers.”

  45. Jacq

    #92 – Fucking priceless! There’s no way that his brain is connected to the stem anymore. Still smarter than dad, though. And she’s got those huge WT curlers in her hair. Well worth the laugh.
    I tote around a sack of potatoes with more concern and caring.

  46. irisheyes

    #80 & #84 I laughed at the other comments posted and then I saw yours, relived last week, and almost fell out of my chair. Thanks for brightening my Monday

  47. it must be a relative… he’s pretty chumpy looking…

  48. Pagan Queen

    Holy rednecks batman – it is Prince Harry!!!

    How would the Queen react to that? I dont think they serve cheetos at high tea.

    Britney Spears-Windsor. Has a nice name to it, huh? A true American Princess.

  49. o-n

    The poor kid has a Gap baseball hat on..

  50. Britney is so fat, she’ll neer ever lose that weight. EVER.

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