Britney Spears gives deposition

January 22nd, 2008 // 119 Comments

Britney “Nipples” Spears showed up at the law office of Mark Vincent Kaplan yesterday and spent two hours giving her deposition in the custody battle between her and Kevin Federline. She was heard outside speaking in a British accent before giving her keys to a valet. It’s been rumored that Britney will give more of her deposition today, but OK! Magazine is saying she’s done for the week:

OK! can also exclusively report that the remaining four hours of today’s deposition (Britney bailed after only two hours) will “most likely be split up into several smaller depositions between now and April 9″ because “she simply can’t sit still,” says a source close to the case.

So Duchess McNip-Nips decided to give a deposition. You know what always helps prove you’re not insane? Using a fake accent during a recorded legal proceeding. Although to Britney’s braless credit, nobody noticed she spent the entire two hours talking about tea and crumpets. Well, except for Mark Vincent Kaplan who, five minutes into her deposition, wrapped his tie around his head and started popping open bottles of champagne. He’ll later be distinctly heard on tape talking on the phone: “Kevin! Dude, bring strippers or I will sue! Ha! But seriously I will.”

Pacific Coast News, Splash News

  1. The Laughing God

    I’d say the milk from those cans is about 80 proof. No good to toddlers, unless you’re trying to create another Chris Farley, but since I just spend 90 bucks at the pump for premium; I think I might be willing to, at least, milk her for free fuel.

    And for my own amusement…

    @62: the Netherlands aren’t a real place, that is where Peter Pan comes from. You mean the Nether Regions, now that is a real place.

    @70: ROFLMAO

    @95: The dream was killed when he was killed.

  2. D. Richards (Chef.)

    ‘KT’, Katie, you’re my Scottish orifice now. I bet you have one hell of a hairy crotch too! I’m not afraid to mount an expedition to the center of your flower; base camp would be located on the edge of the pubic hair shelf, mid-way down you thigh; I’d climb all day and night, pitching underneath your clitoral hood at dusk; after which I would make my way to the cavernous vagina, to toss a coin in, and make a wish. You leprechaun. Ha! I’m kidding, I Know leprechauns are Welsh.

    Scotland, Ireland, Wales, they’re all owned by England. England is the UK’s mother. Canada’s and Australia’s too.

  3. EuroNeckPain

    This site can get really funny at times, I laughed my ass off reading your geographical/historical comments *- wipe eyes -*. I remember that at school, no one could ever remember what was the difference between Great Britain and the UK and which parts it was made of. If you add the Commonwealth to that, and the amount of flags that more or less look like the British(?) flag, you just give up.
    I am wondering, could it be that Britney reads this kind of sites, and noticed how many people mimicked her southern accent in writing, and suddenly decided to use another accent, that would sound more classy ?

  4. BunnyButt

    What about the Falkland Islands? Where do they fit into this discussion? Maybe Brit’s accent is faux Falk.

  5. LL

    Whether RichPort’s comments are technically correct or not, his posts are the most entertaining. Who would think to bring Puerto Rico into it? Only RichPort.

    I’m being flailed on another website right now by some anonymous douchebags because I called people who write for newspapers “copywriters” instead of “reporters.” Apparently they’re really picky about that shit.

    Don’t upset the Scots or they’ll invade us with haggis. I think the living would envy the dead.

  6. Sauron

    How much millilitre did she deposit?25?

  7. BaldAsBritney

    #97 nice work, your comebacks are almost as lame as your posts.

  8. tee hee

    39. Go back to the “fee-oh-peens”.

  9. thegimp

    seriously..if she has ANY serious medical HAS to be a severe case of maximus-nipple-pokism. there is a syndrome called that right?

  10. Ript1&0

    Thank fucking god you are back with the meaness DR.

    It just hasn’t been the same around here…

  11. #107 – Yeah, okay. Of course to you, “comeback” is when your dad pulls out and spews your siblings all over your posterior. But yours is funny too…

  12. makemepuke

    Erect or not ..her nipples are pointing straight to the ground and that aint fuckin sexy whatsoever, you’d think with all her money she’d at least have the dignitiy to get a boob job so her nipples point towards the sky instead of the public having to endure a National Geographic type situation. For all of her superficiality it makes no sense that her nipples point down. Man is she fucked up.

  13. El Sueno

    What’s the fastest anyone has ever died from smoking?

  14. Jennifer

    She was said to have a personal account on ‘’ club with her hot pictures and blogs there. The site is getting hotter and hotter, cuz quite a few millionaires and celebrities tend to go there.

  15. Anonymous

    Hey Jennifer:

    Hi there, I’m a loser with no life. I’m paid $3.50 per hour to post idiotic drivel, directing you to some lame dating website that takes your money and gives you nothing in return. I have no job, so I sit around all day and post this garbage on as many websites as I can under many different aliases. I don’t have any friends, so I must rely on these moronic posts to make myself feel better about myself. My mother hates me and dropped me on my head as a child. You can find me at I’
    I heard Jamie Lynn Spears met her older man, I mean match, at this site. and all those other fucking dating sites that get spammed around here are all registered to this asshole. Du Qiang 800 West El Camino Real, #180 Mountain View, California 94040 United States 650-906-0405

  16. Mickey Mouse

    #36 try 4… Scotland, England, Ireland, Wales….. Idiot!

  17. Mickey Mouse

    #36 try 4… Scotland, England, Ireland, Wales….. Idiot!

  18. Mickey Mouse

    #36 try 4… Scotland, England, Ireland, Wales….. Idiot!

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