Britney Spears gives deposition

January 22nd, 2008 // 119 Comments

Britney “Nipples” Spears showed up at the law office of Mark Vincent Kaplan yesterday and spent two hours giving her deposition in the custody battle between her and Kevin Federline. She was heard outside speaking in a British accent before giving her keys to a valet. It’s been rumored that Britney will give more of her deposition today, but OK! Magazine is saying she’s done for the week:

OK! can also exclusively report that the remaining four hours of today’s deposition (Britney bailed after only two hours) will “most likely be split up into several smaller depositions between now and April 9″ because “she simply can’t sit still,” says a source close to the case.

So Duchess McNip-Nips decided to give a deposition. You know what always helps prove you’re not insane? Using a fake accent during a recorded legal proceeding. Although to Britney’s braless credit, nobody noticed she spent the entire two hours talking about tea and crumpets. Well, except for Mark Vincent Kaplan who, five minutes into her deposition, wrapped his tie around his head and started popping open bottles of champagne. He’ll later be distinctly heard on tape talking on the phone: “Kevin! Dude, bring strippers or I will sue! Ha! But seriously I will.”

Pacific Coast News, Splash News
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  1. hotplateface

    #48 “He should her his own tragedy going”

    Nice grammer retard.

  2. hotplateface

    I don’t know why you all hate on Britney. She’s fucking awesome. She’s just having fun… You guys are all so dumb. You’d all kill to be as cool as her.

  3. my comment

    Her boots are really showing their age in pic 4.

  4. hotplateface

    Showing their age, like your face, no doubt. Is everyone in here like a hundred years old or what?

  5. The Ex

    #51 ohh :( I’m not retarded… im just a bit confused

  6. Auto-Erotic-Asphixiation

    I love that RED lipstick !
    It”s thought to have first been used back in Babylon days.
    Women painted their lips red to advertise they were whores and gave head.
    The apple never falls far from the tree does it

  7. The Ex

    #51 lets both get our “grammar” right. right?

  8. Spartacus

    Britney’s mockney accent shames all us brits!

  9. hotplateface

    Just in case you guys have not figured it out, this is Mike. I am a lowly admin for a big city. basicly I am the office bitch. The only way my life has any meaning is to come on to the Superficial and make fun of you people so I can feel better about myself. My wife says I have a little dick and is screwing by best friend. And by best friend, I mean my German Shepard. I have no friends. No one can stand to be around me for more than ten minutes unless they are getting paid. Once I had a hooker give me my money.

  10. jen

    this chick is loaded, why can’t she buy a bra!!! I think what makes the nipple showing so much worse, is that its coupled with the saggy titties. Buy a bra Brit, buy a bra.

  11. I know Stuff

    Shut the fuck up hotplateface.

    hahaha! There is NOTHING better than some fucked up assclown correcting someone else’s GRAMMAR while showing their own dollop of tard. Cheers to you dipshit.

  12. D. Richards (Meaningless.)

    #36? GB is actually four countries, the fourth being Nothern Ireland.

    And they’re under the same monarchy, as opposed to Russia being a completely different country than the Netherlands.

  13. KT

    Britain is an island. You are thinking of the United Kingdom. So ha!

  14. PunkA

    That red lipstick is flat out horrible on her. And she is too clueless to figure it out. Talk about a walking fashion disaster. Even in Louisiana.

    She is one whacked out chick.

  15. hotplateface

    My name isn’t Mike, and I don’t work… I go to school… something you boobies wouldn’t know anything about. And, no, kindergarden doesn’t count.

  16. hotplateface

    I love it when people make fun of dick size. Mommy taught me that its not the size that matters, but how you use it. And Daddy says I use it just fine. So there.

  17. ella

    KT,
    that’s wonderful that your scottish, scotland is beautiful. i’ve been there and would love to go again.
    however, the accents of england, ireland, and scotland, as they are all part of Britain, are British accents. there is not ” a british accent” , as in only one british accent. There are many different british accents, and the english accent is one of them.
    anyways, this is way too serious and geeky of a conversation for the superficial.
    boobies!!

  18. Tim

    65- Scool. Me likey scooool. But dey don’t wike us wetards thier. Day sey that whe kan lern tings and be smrt lyke you.

    You’re a fucking jerkoff. Shut the fuck up.

  19. LL

    RE “She’s like a big greasy Raggedy Ann doll.”

    Laughed my ass off. It’s true, so true. I was trying to figure out what that fugly hair reminded me of.

  20. #36 – The United Kingdom being four countries is like the US being fifty countries. Face it, William Wallace couldn’t save you and neither will pretending to be your very own country. I mean sometimes I make a paper hat into a crown and use a wrapping paper tube as a scepter and pretend I rule Puerto Rico from my lofty Long Island address, but that, oddly, isn’t legally binding. It’s one fucking country until you can print your own money. And I mean in an internationally recognized way, because my deskjet makes some great Schrute bucks, but the Puerto Ricans were unimpressed.

  21. KT

    My beef was with the poster anyway! At least we keep our arguments more high-end than hotplateface…

  22. D. Richards (Lover.)

    #63? GB is an island! Good for you. But they do possess Nothern Ireland. Fun.

    And I’m sure you’re living in the states, aren’t you, pig?

  23. ella

    true that KT, i enjoyed the debate!

  24. Fetus in a Kilt

    Fuck England. Notice how Ireland was neutral in WW2?

  25. IKE

    I must need help.
    I love seeing her CONSTANTLY erect nipples.

    ;)
    HELP!!
    lol
    ….or just show me more.

  26. KT

    Yes, this freezing corner of North East Scotland called Aberdeen is in “the states”! Pig? A bit defensive are we? I think I won that one.

  27. IKE

    Ok….
    How are they always like 10 degrees-below-freezing erect???
    Someone give her an award for those.

  28. 17, the coronor is waiting for toxicology results on Renfro, which take a freakin’ long time, so no definite cause of death will be known for quite awhile.

    And I think Brit’s speaking with a western Canadian accent. ;)

  29. poopometer

    i seriously do not understand how she suddenly became British….

  30. KT

    Western Canadian or English, bipolar disorder or a breakdown caused by crystal-meth, she’s off her fucking rocker. And there’s no way the arse in the video for “Piece Of Me” belongs to her. I wonder if she can make her nipples erect at will?

  31. It must be nipple implants.

  32. KT

    “Pretending to be your very own country”?! That is the funniest thing I have ever heard. And one of the most ignorant. And thank you for the William Wallace reference. That really was the icing on the I’m-an-obtuse-witless-radge cake!

  33. Geography Bonerific

    Uh, just wondring about all you fuckwads arguing about the UK ……. I guess Wales doesn’t count as a country???

  34. KT

    I think every single one of us “fuckwads” has acknowledged that Wales is part of the UK, actually. What with every one of us saying that the United Kingdom consists of four countries and Britain of three.

  35. D. Richards (Slut.)

    #76? Sure you did, Katie. And defensive? Yes, because you are so offensive?

    See, I’m more pensive, than defensive, but if I was going to be defensive, I would defend myself, from, like, an offense or something, but only if I defended. Sometimes I play in the bathtub and defend one end of the basin that’s occupied by Scuba Steve, from my favorite submarine. That submarine captain is wily too. But steve’s small enough that he can crouch and hide in his undersea grotto.

    You were caught in a technicality. GB is technically the United Kingdom, Right? Yes, which, includes Northern Ireland. Now, back to your delicious haggis. Stomach is good.

  36. Matthew

    stop talking like madonna and her fake british accent brit

  37. #82 – That’s actually very cute, the way those skirt wearin’ men act like they have relevance on the world stage. My point still stands, you’re British… I’m sorry, does your passport say “Scotland” or “United Kingdom of Britain and Northern Ireland”? Hardly ignorance tootsie pop… extra “u” usin’ mothafuckas…

  38. KT

    You are wrong. Great Britain is Britain and surrounding islands: the Hebrides, Jersey, Orkney etc…

    And who is Katie?

    Anyhoo, It’s half six, and Hollyoaks demands my full attention. Happy Burns Night on Friday. I will certainly be stuffing myself with neeps and tatties and will hopefully be the one to address the haggis. I love that my nationality has heritage and culture. Shame for you, really.

  39. Dino

    > She is talking in an English accent

    No she isn’t. I’m English.

    She is doing an impression of Eddie Murphy doing an impression of Dick Van Dyke. After a stroke.

    The trouble is that she simply doesn’t know who she is.

  40. LongWindedFucks

    Guess what? The longer your post is the less funny it becomes. Good humour is usually concise, bad humour usually sounds like talking to your stoned younger sister. I wonder to whom I would be refering…

  41. FCS

    #87 did someone order you from the typical american douchebag catolouge?

  42. redsonja1313

    she really either needs a BETTER BRA or to wear one

  43. #88 – So your passprt says “Scotland”? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeet… I would keep that shit, because it’s either a collector’s item or a misprint… and “half six” is three… and “culture” is just another way of saying we killed alot of people first.

    #90 – Commit! Say a name! Take a stand!!!

  44. Jim

    Like Britney’s nipples, this conversation is going off in all different directions.

  45. Teacher

    I’ll make this simple. The British are the people Americans fought to earn independence, so that one day Martin Luther King could fight for equal rights for blacks, and leave a lasting legacy of…of…of…anyone? anyone? No, seriously, anyone know what the legacy is? Can’t be Sharpton. Except…there’s nobody else, is there? Sharpton and 50-cent. And loss of ground economically and socially. Way to go, MLKers. Livin’ the dream.

  46. It’s not the MLKer’s fault… I blame it on anything that starts with “Brit”. But not the Scots because they’re their own country after all. And of course by “own”, I mean “owned”.

  47. #91 – Woooo… my sides, seriously, you should take that routine on the road… I bet the sun never sets on your comedic empire… Did you see what #91 just did? Ordered me from a catalogue… Priceless…!

  48. Ana Rita

    Lets offer to Britney a bra, please!
    I can’t suport anymore with that nipples and boobs “going down”

    by the way, I love you thesuperficial. com guy.
    my fav site!

  49. Personally, I like skirt wearing men, regardless of what Britney’s nipples are doing.

  50. hi price call girl

    Can someone please get a bra for this saggy-tit bitch?

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