Britney Spears getting married for a third time

May 4th, 2006 // 76 Comments

federline-spears-renew.jpgBritney Spears is planning on renewing her vows in Vegas after Kevin Federline allegedly proposed for the second time and promised to stop letting her down. Supposedly, he got on one knee and said, “Let’s fucking do it again!” A friend of the couple tells Heat magazine:

“Kevin has pledged his eternal love to Britney and swears he is going to stop acting like a jerk to her. Britney is jumping for joy. This is all she’s every wanted to hear.”

If I was Britney Spears I’d want to relive the biggest mistake of my life too. Maybe next week she can relive the joy of finding out she’s pregnant again. You know, take a pregnancy test, find out she’s knocked up, and then lock herself in the bathroom for eight hours sobbing and cursing men for having penises.

Source

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  1. CruisingForCock

    50 Good point but I suppose it is because deep down – I love the cock – just like Tom Cruise.

  2. Punkin

    My guess is the press conference was actually about a break-up, but Britney opened up her big mouth and decided to tell K-Fed and he freaked out about his sugar mama kicking him out and got all mushy-gushy… gawd… it’s making me sick to even think about it.

    I mean, does she really think that we CARE enough that it was worth all that trouble to call press conference and keep it all secret and lure in the press through those methods.

    Oh, she does???

  3. CruisingForCock

    Bring it on Krisdylee.

  4. Anndralina Steals Husbands

    dont even tell me that this is what the press conference was held for.

    thats probably what he said about the baby too “lets fucking do it again”

    he probably is just jumping at the chance to wear another jumpsuit that says “da pimp “….because he needs validation.

  5. Zed

    What is wrong with this woman?! Is she even capable of having a sane thought? Or of having even one nanosecond of wisdom ever?

    EVERYONE EVERYWHERE hates this guy K-Fed. Even Brit fans. He has a “delusional sense of entitlement”, he’s a golddigger, he’s a d*bag, an embarrassment, etc., etc. everyday everywhere. DJs laugh at him. Didn’t she SEE the PopoZao video of him doing those ridiculous, retarded hand movements? And hasn’t she heard him say stupid things like “My new album is going to set the dance floors of America on FIRE!” or “I’m hotter than a pizza oven!”

    Lord, I just cringe for her and the embarrasment he causes her–but I should stop wasting my time cringing because she seems to think he’s fine–someone she wants to marry a SECOND TIME.

    Arrrggghhh and more arrrggghhh! What an idiot!

    Which reminds me, hey where’s Duckboy? He should be cryin’ a river just about now.

  6. DuckBoy

    They look really cute in this picture.

    And you people beleive everything you hear, this story is obviously fake.

    Damn

  7. Mr_Hunt

    This story can’t be legit, can it? I hope Paris steals D-Fed from Brit. They would make the perfect Hollywood couple.

  8. christee

    zed, of course he said it would be hotter than a pizza oven! when you work at little caeser’s on the dl (like k-fug), you KNOW these things. and those weren’t funny hand movements, no no- that’s how they knead the crust. and why, you may ask, is he working at little c’s? obviously, shitney has grown tired of cheetos, and is hitting the “harder” junk. food. he’s just supporting her habit.

  9. Fa Cube Itches

    56 – God, the Waffen-SS was less loyal to Hitler than you are to Britney. Exactly how many restraining orders does she have against you at this point? 200?

  10. Now that’s just silly! babadababdaba

  11. Zapp Brannigan

    So what happened to the press conference?? Was this just a rumor that turned out to be untrue?

  12. BarbadoSlim

    “let’s fucking do it a again baybee, yeah on account of my semen being so fertile, joos my woman”

  13. britney is a fat minger

    It’s so SAD. She used to be voted sexiest woman on the planet, and look at the fucking state of her, marrying a retarded red-neck, popping out retarded babies and eating nothing but burgers. It just shows how stupid men really are- we women KNEW she was a thick, ugly cunt all along. We are united in being glad she has proved it to the world.

  14. sweetcheeks

    K-fed looks like he should be nibbling a piece of cheese and darting around on the floor. He even has the shifty, beady eyes.

  15. flamarkel

    I got down on my knees and pledged my everlasting love to my ATM yesterday if it would stop eating my card. It’s pretty much the same thing.

  16. Jacq

    #41/42 & 50 – After the girl passed out, she just drew her blood.

  17. shell

    “Let’s fucking do it again”
    Is he a romantic or what?

  18. Zed

    #58 christee :)

    He’s Little Cesar’s night guy washing the floors and cleaning the ovens, which are just cooling down by the time he gets to them.

    Hence the phrase: “Hotter than a pizza oven”–he’s always got his head in one of them, and he should know.

    Too bad the springs on one of those pizza-oven doors doesn’t spring shut on his neck.

    Oooh. That was mean. True, but mean.

  19. PocketRocket

    LAST!!!!

    Tome Cruise Loves The Cock

  20. LickyLicky

    She looks so old and tired and forced in this photo. No 24 year old should look like that, esp one with seven figures in the bank.

    Unless she traded six of them in for Cheetos, MooLattes, and Red Bull. Nevermind; I just answered my own question.

    Oh, Kevvy, Kevvy, how was I supposed to know
    That you were suck a dick, yeah
    Oh Kev, I peed on an EPT
    There’s two lines on the stick, yeah
    Now I really need my tubes tied
    All you do is get fried
    And hang out at stripper clubs
    Cause
    This big fat ass is killing me
    And I’m
    I’m not as sexy as I used to be
    Used to be
    Hope Yoga can fix my behind
    Fix my behiiiiiiiind
    Don’t impregnate me one more time!

  21. christee

    hey now, zed! several years ago, when i worked at little caeser’s, the after-hours clean up guy was much cooler and smarter than k-fug. clearly, he’s management material. all.the.way. and further proof, pizza! pizza! = popozoa! popozoa!
    p.s.- i agree about the oven door and his neck and all that :)

  22. _meh_

    Now that’s love – who wouldn’t want to renew their vows to the K-Fedmeister. After all, he’s done so much for her…

    I can’t wait for the day when I meet my very own Kevin Federline

  23. LilJenny

    Fa Cube,

    I can’t afford anything as classy as Circus Circus. Let’s do it at that driveup place or at the Frontier.

  24. OneEpiphany

    WHO CARES! My question is, “Why doesn’t AOL use spell check?”

    “Kevin has pledged his eternal love to Britney and swears he is going to stop acting like a jerk to her. Britney is jumping for joy. This is all she’s (every) wanted to hear.”

    How about “…this is all she’s EVER wanted to hear.”

  25. WTF

    Britney Spears is a white-trash hillbilly….im surprised shes not getting married AFTER her 5th kid! Good for you Brit..your changing the world one hick at a time.

  26. parishaswarts

    this has been an interesting, yet dangerous year…

    britney drops her baby on its head

    our vice president shoots an elderly man in the face

    scary!

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