Britney Spears getting married for a third time

May 4th, 2006 // 76 Comments

federline-spears-renew.jpgBritney Spears is planning on renewing her vows in Vegas after Kevin Federline allegedly proposed for the second time and promised to stop letting her down. Supposedly, he got on one knee and said, “Let’s fucking do it again!” A friend of the couple tells Heat magazine:

“Kevin has pledged his eternal love to Britney and swears he is going to stop acting like a jerk to her. Britney is jumping for joy. This is all she’s every wanted to hear.”

If I was Britney Spears I’d want to relive the biggest mistake of my life too. Maybe next week she can relive the joy of finding out she’s pregnant again. You know, take a pregnancy test, find out she’s knocked up, and then lock herself in the bathroom for eight hours sobbing and cursing men for having penises.



  1. happyjoyjoy


  2. happyjoyjoy

    1st, cool

  3. Kg

    3rd time’s the charm! And not just marriages, it goes for babies too. You’ll see.

  4. The superficial needs to do a post on the baby-sitter story. Britney wanted to hire a baby sitter to keep track of Kevin and to keep him out of trouble because he is too hard of a partier.

    The story can be found here:

  5. o-n

    #4 Actually, Superficial already handled that one…

  6. Binky

    This is what happens when they put CIA Richard on your ass.
    (I hear Richard is a real Dick)

  7. Grphdesi23

    Somewhere, there is a hell with these two in it.

  8. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    She’s getting married for the “thrid” time?

    What number is that, I must’ve missed it in preschool.

  9. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Ya know, most people wait until like, 10, 15 years to renew their vows. Jumping the gun, aren’t they? Like THIS time will be better. It’ll really STICK this time. Yeah.

  10. LilJenny

    “Let’s fucking do it again”

    Words I have always wanted to hear in a marriage proposal. *sigh* Brit gets all the good ones

  11. ESQ

    Will this bitch ever learn that her husband is a complete retard? It is just like everyone in the world knew O.J. was wrong except for 12 jurors..please.

  12. Fa Cube Itches

    LilJenny: Wanna get fuckin’ hitched?

    Best I can do…I’m not a real wordsmith like K-Fed.

  13. ESQ

    I guess they are springing for the Elvis impersonator this time..there is nothing else that spells class like two hillbillies trying to be normal people.

  14. Iambananas

    Thats the big announcement? I am SO sick of her… like I care a whit about what she says.

  15. Fa Cube Itches

    ESQ: The OJ jurors look like Oliver Wendel Holmes next to the Moussaoui jury. Cool to know that a guy can have a hand in (or even have prevented) nearly 3,000 deaths, but gets a pass because he had a tough childhood and Froggies called him names.

  16. cignine

    wow…24 hours of waitng for her announcement of bankruptcy caused by K-Fed’s investment in a portuguse brothel down the drain…well there hope that next, paris hilton will end her life now than Stavros in dippin’ in the lohan…cross your fingers guys

  17. ebayfan414

    I find it hilarious how even thinking or looking at Fat-ney And Federgoldigger can trigger stupidbraindegeneration syndrome. As you can see, Mr. Superficial spelled it “thrid.” Uh oh…I feeel sumthing hapining two meee….

  18. Zapp Brannigan

    So is this the big announcement that was scheduled for today? That she and Kevin are renewing their wedding vows and going to stage another wedding? Ugh.

  19. She really IS as stupid as she looks.

  20. Giggles

    * * * W H O C A R E S ? ? ? * * *

    She is a non-entity. Don’t her “people” get that yet?


    Catering by KFC cuz Brit-Brit loves the cajun popcorn chicken!

  22. sweetcheeks

    What’s an appropriate gift for a vow renewal? Paper? China? Silver? A box of Newports and a Sam’s Club crate of Cheetos?

  23. gogoboots

    I knew she was stupid, but she’s masochistic too? It must be nice to have a sugar-mommy who’s as retarded as you are, huh, K-fug?

  24. LilJenny

    Fa Cube

    Let’s fuckin do it!

  25. LilJenny


    She would kiss your ass for some Newports, cuz all she can afford now are Basics

  26. CruisingForCock

    Oh, so it is going to be just as classy as her first…I mean second wedding. I can’t wait to see K-fed in the after wedding PIMP sweats.

  27. MasterofMuppets

    I just have this image of ‘Freebird’ playing on their wedding night as K-Fed puts on the cock ring he got off Ebay….and that’s after he hides the camera in the laundry pile. For insurance, y’know?

  28. Unabashed Liar

    Yet more evidence that ‘Intelligent Design’and Evolution both are a load of crap.

    Unless of course The Almighty is big on tragicly humorous entertainment.

  29. BigJim

    This is [sniff]… just so fuckin’ romantic. [sniff]

    I mean, [sob]… I haven’t cried like this since [wail]… I saw The Bridges of Madison Country. [Unabashed wailing and crying].

    I’m just so fuckin’ happy for both of them. I need to get another box of fuckin’ tissues.

  30. Jacq

    It’s the “thrid” wedding because it won’t change anything. Call me crazy, but I would probably just have started out by marrying some guy who wouldn’t be an asshole in the first place. That would be all I would “every” want.
    Is the editor of the SF on hiatus?
    Maybe he wants to bring a second, real husband/father into the picture.

  31. LaLindsey

    hmm, she may be getting married for the third time, I’m not sure about the “thrid” though. Sounds a little kinky….

  32. melody

    That’s the big announcement??? why on earth would she want to announce that she is in fact the most stupid person on the planet? she really is a glutton for punishment.

  33. CruisingForCock

    29 You saw the Bridges of Madison County. Ha ha ha. Wait, oh shit…so did I but in my defense I was on a plane.

  34. krisdylee

    I saw it too, but in my defense, I’m a chick.

  35. krisdylee

    My hubby was drunk when he proposed to me, and OMG you guys, I was pregnant too.. Fuck, does that mean I have something in common with these fuck-ups?? Say it ain’t so…. no, no, wait…. I’m not fat and my hubby is no wigger.. whew, that was close.

    In other news, my pussy is hot hot hot….

  36. Italian Stallion

    Big Jim you know how I know your gay?

    Because you saw “The Bridges of Madison County” and honestly, I never even heard of that movie and still know, but I’m sure there was a lot of sarcasim in your post………………..

  37. krisdylee

    BigJim is NOT gay, cuz last night he and I went 4 times…. IN A ROW….

  38. Binky

    Ok – I finally got voted off Surviver – YOU BASTARDS !
    (not that I’ve ever seen the show)

  39. krisdylee

    I’m pretty sure I’d like to have sex with Cruising for Cock… Fingers can be a very wonderful thing…

  40. CruisingForCock

    I almost had lesbian sex once but she was really drunk and high and she passed out.

  41. CruisingForCock

    I almost had lesbian sex once but she was really drunk and high and she passed out.

  42. CruisingForCock

    It was such a good story – I had to tell it twice…

  43. Fa Cube Itches

    Wonder what the processional music is going to be? “Paradise By The Dashboard Light?”

    Men at Work’s “It’s A Mistake” would probably be more fitting.

  44. Fa Cube Itches


    Fuck yeah! Which casino in Vegas should we use? Circus Circus? It’s gotta be first class all the way.

  45. Fa Cube Itches

    Is anyone else getting the Sonic ad at the top of the page? While their food isn’t bad for fast food, if I just graduated and someone gave me a Sonic card as a graduation present, no jury in the world would convict me for lead pipe beating I would give them.

  46. CruisingForCock

    @43 I love that Meatloaf song. But it’s a secret. Don’t tell anyone.

  47. ellaminnowpea

    Oops she’d do it again??! Dumbass…HIT HER BABY ONE MORE TIME! So is this some hokey shit dreamed up by K-fart that if they get married a second time and don’t get a new pre-nup that it’ll supercede the previous marriage’s pre-nup? hmmmmmmm….

  48. DrDanny

    Man, their story just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it? I mean, trashier and trashier. I think she should buy Neverland off Michael Jackson and turn it into a huge trailer park, then move all her family in.

  49. limpvamp

    Just another excuse to spend more money and wear their expensive (tacky) “PIMP” track suits again . . . > . . . I want a “PIMP” suit too

  50. krisdylee

    41 and 42, what was stopping you???

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