Britney Spears gets behind the wheel, crash-larity ensues

May 14th, 2008 // 32 Comments

Britney Spears seems to have started a new tradition: Whenever her latest cameo in How I Met Your Mother airs, Britney goes out and rear-ends random people with her Mercedes. Good for her! Of course, some might say Britney is actually honoring an even older tradition: Anytime she gets behind the wheel – SHE FUCKING AIMS TO KILL! TMZ reports:

Brit hit a red Ford Explorer, driven by a lady. No injuries, as far as we know — Britney didn’t even get out of the car. Her bodyguard got out and talked to the other woman.
The red Explorer Brit hit is now following her back to Britney’s home.
Britney was stopped at a light and, for some reason, accelerated when the light was still red, hitting the Explorer stopped in front of her, causing minor damage.

Let’s stop beating around the bush, and just give Britney a bumper car to drive on the freeway. That way people can see the little pole zipping at them and take evasive action. Like diving out the sun roof or using their kid as an airbag. You know, safety stuff.

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Comments (32)

  1. Gar | May 14, 2008 at 8:56 am

    First !

    Reply
  2. (e) | May 14, 2008 at 8:58 am

    second?

    Reply
  3. justifiable | May 14, 2008 at 9:02 am

    #1,2 I see you’re both learning to handle a stick shift. If you can’t find it, grind it.

    Reply
  4. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | May 14, 2008 at 9:10 am

    I was always under the impression that it was Britney that liked to get rear ended…

    Reply
  5. Ella | May 14, 2008 at 9:12 am

    I wish I could say to leave her alone…but god damn Britney! Watch what the hell you’re doing!

    Plus the bodyguard was in the passenger seat. Isn’t she banned from driving by the judge? Or is that only when she has her kids with her?

    Reply
  6. Ella | May 14, 2008 at 9:13 am

    I wish I could say to leave her alone…but god damn Britney! Watch what the hell you’re doing!

    Plus the bodyguard was in the passenger seat. Isn’t she banned from driving by the judge? Or is that only when she has her kids with her?

    Reply
  7. Ella | May 14, 2008 at 9:14 am

    Damn double post…. Sorry about that. :(

    Reply
  8. Anexio | May 14, 2008 at 9:16 am

    I get realy upset when I read things in here abot brit that poeople say in inunderstandble ways that make no sents. brit is cracking out a comebacks and seh dosnt have the time for the paps anyomre to entertane and coffeeing them. she doesnt even drive anymore cause remember that pic the other day from the tv show she stars in and she was inthe back seat with that guy whos face looks like back of his head? and here it is again with his head on backwards he must know a lot about head and stuff like that.

    All I know is that brit tears up everything she do in such a big way and everyone wants her for reasons! Everything she touchs turns into sucksesses and that is such a fact that it’s hard to understand.

    Reply
  9. lyricshack | May 14, 2008 at 9:27 am

    id still hit it.

    Reply
  10. Guy | May 14, 2008 at 9:27 am

    God I actually laughed, “just give Britney a bumper car”

    Reply
  11. taylor made | May 14, 2008 at 9:41 am

    #8 You’re harder to understand than Britney any day.

    Reply
  12. MightyD | May 14, 2008 at 9:51 am

    Haha #4, good one!

    But, naaa…I’m guessing she was just distracted by a prego-hillbilly-hick teen look alike in yello high heels at the corner gas station…

    #9 DIE YOU SHITBAG!!!

    Reply
  13. DS | May 14, 2008 at 10:03 am

    What a friggin’ idiot. Why is she still driving!?!

    Reply
  14. 1BigBear | May 14, 2008 at 10:14 am

    That was funny the first dozen times. Now BS having an automobile accident it getting old new really fast. We are lucky, the bitch didn’t kill anybody at this point. Or at least the person she did not kill is lucky.

    Reply
  15. Corlyss | May 14, 2008 at 10:21 am

    Did she actually get her license? Is that person now fired from the DMV?

    She might not be crazy anymore, but she doesn’t know how to fucking drive. Give her the kids, take away the license. I feel it’s a fair trade. Besides, it’s not like she can’t afford to hire a driver.

    Reply
  16. Corlyss | May 14, 2008 at 10:22 am

    #8: You’re actually talking about people not making sense? lol

    Reply
  17. Ted from LA | May 14, 2008 at 10:26 am

    I saw a news story that reminded me of BritBrit today. Two people were pulled over and had a 12 pack of beer in between them in the front seat (and it had a seatbelt holding it in place). They also had a 5 year-old unbuckled and sitting on the floor in the backseat.

    Reply
  18. Hey Ted | May 14, 2008 at 10:43 am

    Hey man. Not everyone abuses alcohol. Sounds like a safe driver to me.

    Reply
  19. mimi | May 14, 2008 at 10:45 am

    BRITNEY is BACK! GO BRITNEY!

    Bite it FISH -GUTZ!

    Reply
  20. FRIST!!! | May 14, 2008 at 10:59 am

    Hey! Don’t disparage getting randomly rear-ended (or what I call “Friday nights”).

    Reply
  21. Gar | May 14, 2008 at 11:00 am

    #9 bud stop advertising, you just making more and more upset people.
    #3 grinding atm.

    Now the big question, who is this britney

    Reply
  22. caljenna66 | May 14, 2008 at 11:04 am

    @ 17 – no, actually, #8 is talking about people not making ‘sents’

    I would, however, like to know what ‘coffeeing them’ means…

    Reply
  23. hot mess | May 14, 2008 at 11:38 am

    @18 Ted from LA

    finally, someone with some *real* priorities. you can lways make another baby, but once you spill bud, it’s gone for good.

    on another site, i saw this was actually Jamie Lynn on a visit with Jayden on the floor. lol.

    Reply
  24. fygu | May 14, 2008 at 11:55 am

    #8 I get really upset when I read posts by people who have the spelling skills of a second grade student and the grammar of a foreigner on their first day of English class. Please go die, NOW.

    Reply
  25. Harry Ballzack | May 14, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    WTF ?

    Don’t they put brakes on anything she buys ?
    Does she have to run into shit to stop ?

    @8 – inunderstandble isn’t even a freaking word fucktard

    Reply
  26. gerard Vandenberg | May 14, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    A suicide attempt?
    PLEASE GOD, let it be!!

    Reply
  27. Giggles | May 14, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    How many points must this chick have on her driver’s license at this point? Like 4 or 5? Isn’t a license revoked at some point for too many points (no pun)?

    Reply
  28. JollyJumjuck | May 14, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    #28: Her license doesn’t have points. She’s a celebrity (pathetic and sad, but still a celebrity), so the rules which apply to the little people like you and I, do not apply to her.

    Reply
  29. snarky | May 14, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Maybe papa spears will get wise & ground her again and remove driving privileges; lets hope, before the innocent are slaughtered.

    Reply
  30. woodhorse | May 14, 2008 at 1:39 pm

    She still drives better than I do. Christ that aggravates me.

    Reply
  31. surgerylass | May 14, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    How did Britney get a liscense? I think after young people have accidents as often as this, they should be banned from using hand held electronic devices while driving. Period. Still a mess, she is. someone only spinning her outward appearance to appear more put together. She can’t even drive her car responsiblily.

    And wow, she is turning into that “time aged re-touched pic” , right before our eyes! Guess she doesn’t see that yet, but, boy howdy, look at the weight gain and .. well, hey compare the pics for yourself.

    Reply
  32. Lord of Bacon | May 14, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    She just bent over to pick up a dropped Cheeto and her enormous forehead acidentally hit the gas.

    It was bound to happen sooner or later.

    Reply

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