Britney Spears gets an apology


The National Enquirer has apologized to Britney Spears for running two different stories saying her marriage to Kevn Federline was over. They write:

“Contrary to what our articles might have suggested, we now accept that their marriage is not over and they are not getting divorced. These allegations are untrue and we now accept Britney’s position that the statements are without foundation. We apologize for any distress caused.”

The fact that the National Enquirer felt it necessary to apologize for one of their stories means they actually take themselves seriously. And that makes me sad. They’re about as credible a news source as Mad TV, only with less fact checking. The only time they’d ever need to apologize for a story is if their paper somehow came alive and started murdering young children. And even then people would just sort of shrug and say, “Dude, it’s just the National Enquirer.”