Britney Spears gets an allowance

March 11th, 2008 // 55 Comments

Britney Spears is allowed to spend $1,500 of her own money a week, according to a court ruling yesterday. Britney decided not to show up for the hearing, but, surprise, things actually worked in her favor. No shit. OK! Magazine reports:

Despite her failure to show up to court, the commissioner did agree to grant Brit’s father and co-conservator, Jamie Spears, the authority to issue his daughter a debit/credit card, permitting Britney to spend up to $1,500 of her own money per week — the idea being to enable the former pop star to “enjoy herself and have some freedom of choice,” said attorney for the conservators, Geraldine Wyle of Luce-Forward.

So in the past 24 hours Britney Spears has been called a Madonna wannabe by Justin Timberlake, found out her ex-husband is trying to shaft her with legal fees and needed a court hearing to determine if she can spend her own money. I’m not a religious man, but I’m pretty sure this is proof that God exists – and fucking hates Britney Spears. Look, big guy, we all got stung by Vadge-Gate ’06, but don’t you think this is a bit excessive. *ZAP!* Ha, you missed! Oh, no, Frank the Intern, not you! He had so many more cups of coffee for me to throw in his face. It’s not his time yet, dammit! Why, God, WHY?!


  1. nicola


  2. Ted from LA

    $1500 won’t pay for her Starbuck’s whipped cream.

  3. For a change, she looks half way decent..

    @1 you are a loser..

  4. If she wasn’t insane before, this will put her well on the way. Her dad sounds like he plays golf with Jessica’s Simpson’s and is picking up his child-rearing skills. I wonder how fast he’ll go through the rest of it.

  5. Jen

    I’m beginning to believe that zit-patch next to her mouth is MRSA.
    It’s been festering there for months.

    I’m also rather amazed at how crazy can actually be seen in crazy people’s eyes. I mean look at her eyeballs.. they scream “I’m CRAZY”.
    Her eyes didn’t look like that back when…. well, back when she wasn’t batshit.

  6. I hate hillary klinton

    Her fly is open, her moustache is showing and she’s still wearing those boots.
    On a positive note, she’s wearing a bra!

    Baby steps, people

  7. brennie

    Jimbo, Jimbo, no! Look again… the stringy nylon hair, the patchy skin, the muffin top, and those horrible horrible nails. You’re better than that my friend.

  8. havoc

    I’ll allow that she’s fat and smells like cigarettes and Taco Bell…..


  9. Brennie, I said half way decent. Not hot, not good. other than those stupid boots, you have to admit she looks better than she has recently. She has a bra on that is not some other color that you can see a mile away and you can not see her snatch.

  10. lover

    Leave Britney alone. She is my favorite. It seems Britney is seeking true love online now. I saw her rpofile on millionaire personals site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m” last week. I

  11. fergernauster

    Who gives a royal fuck.

    Hey, look… her eyes (contacts) are now blue!

  12. Rick

    Jamie’s gonna make her earn that $1500 each week. She better be naked and lubed (and thirsty for some old-man spunk) when he “accidentally” walks into her bedroom while she’s sleeping.

  13. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is that disgusting looking sore on the inside of her right wrist? ringworm?

  14. Hal

    This is brilliant marketing. All of her hits were during her “becoming a woman” phase of growing up into adulthood. Now, she’s literally doing it all over again, complete with living with her dad and getting a weekly allowance from him. Now all she has to do is re-release her successful albums with just a few tweaks of the lyrics. But for god’s sake, don’t remake the videos, just reissue them.

  15. Mal Gusto

    “…..looks confusingly doable” ?!?

    She looks potentially transmissable, essentially unemployable, and totally forgettable.

  16. Captain-Insano

    #5: Her eyes say “I’m crazy” while her hairline says “I’m balding” and her ears say “I’m a mongoloid”…..her mouth just usually says “I’m hungry”.

  17. veggi

    13- hahahaha!!

    Ok, folks. Some douchefucker at yahoo “news” compared her to a female Michael Cera!! What The FUCK!?!?!

    * she’s guest staring on “how I met your mother”……..

    Are they just fucking with us because they know it’s FRIST!!!’s birthday and they know we’re drunk already?


  18. DJ

    I bought some thin t-shirts like Britts years ago at Mervyns in California. I paid 6.99 and I bet Britney paid $50 lol!

  19. fergernauster

    See… I advised all you clowns many years ago that this girl was an expertly packaged Disney time-bomb, what with her mall-looks, below-average talent, parent-pimps and witless bowling-ball head.

    But nobody listened then. Britney was a rising superstar and the envy & desire of the nation!

    Aha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

  20. D. Richards (penis envy)

    Hey, Frist, you better watch out!

    Il tell you that it’s no coincidence between Mars being a planet and the Egyptians having intercourse — excuse me: Arabs; Demascus; intergalactic alien hybrid space-sailors. Ya’ know, All that first-rate science stuff.

    Genesis: the begining. Yeah, think about that.

  21. brennie

    Jimbo, your ‘no snatch’ argument is a compelling one. You win the day.

  22. Thegrayway

    Maybe she can spend a few of those dollars and get a fucking manicure. What a skank.

  23. toolboy

    Clean the gutters and mow the lawn bitch! Now bring me a Yoo Hoo and toss Daddy’s salad….proper like.

  24. Thanks Berrnie

  25. Mike

    huh. frists birthday you say? Here you go girl. Here’s my penis. Suck it.

  26. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    17. veggi – March 11, 2008 12:43 PM
    * she’s guest staring on “how I met your mother”……..

    holy crap, some jokes just write themselves.

  27. Jammy

    I know she’s bad, stupid and unclean, but tit freckles drive me wild.

  28. jstunnah

    her nubins for fingernails are discusting

  29. Ript 1&0 (alone again...naturally) My Story

    Oh, and by the way – Yes. It is 12:19, I am here in my apt. alone and I am on this site.

    I’m old, I’m high, I’m single and desperate and I’ll never have kids because no one wants to fuck me. There, you happy? For fuckssake man, it’s whatever you want to call it.

    Now that we’re past that…
    Does this chick actually have the last name Loose? Who the fuck is she? Ah well, no reason necessary for showing tits, I suppose.

  30. miggs

    As Homer Simpson said to the teenage boy working at Krusty Burger, “My God, you’re greasy!”

  31. OutRunner1

    Wow, she gets to spend $1500 a week. I don’t make half that in a week. I’d blow a gun and welcome death’s sweet, cold embrace but then I take heart in the fact that someday I’ll be somewhere and at the same time she’ll be chasing dogs out from under the trailer porch grumbling about the days when Starbucks was plentiful and her ass was (somewhat) less fat.

  32. @25 Mike, I thought diamonds were the only thing that small you would give someone for their birthday..

  33. D. Richards (John Mater.)

    I would love to dive headfirst into the shit landing strip that is her crack. Or roll around naked in her slug trail.

  34. MeanMerMer

    It looks like she has ringworm or a cigar burn on her right arm too. Could someone help this poor girl? It’s hard to believe she was once attractive. Poor Brit

  35. fergernauster

    … and THAT, dear #34… is where you (and so many others) err, for this young woman was NEVER attractive.

  36. @33 your sick!!

  37. #29 Kill Yourself

    Pathetic bitch why not die? This is not a forum for miserable losers. Don’t come here for sympathy.

  38. becky

    the thing on her wrist that looks like ringworm is that tattoo of lips she got the same night she shaved her head.
    anyone want to tell me why her eyebrows look like they’ve been slathered in vaseline?
    she looks soo much better than she did a couple months ago, but she’s still got a long way to go. i’m just glad her dad stepped in and is un-crazying her.

  39. LL

    26 years old and she has an allowance that her dad gives her. Man, that’s pretty sad… but not turning tricks in a parking lot, so, better than I would have predicted 6 months ago.

    As for her looks, eh… she’s looked better, she’s looked far worse. We’re not seeing her hoo-ha, so that’s an improvement. Her eyes appear able to focus. Her hair looks like hair, but she needs to brush it. Damn, woman, run a comb through that shit. She looks relatively age-appropriate. All in all, I give her a solid 6.

  40. Holly

    “Symptoms of pinworms include anal itching, disturbed sleep, and irritability. To prevent a pinworm infection, discourage the child from nail-biting and then scratching their bare anal areas.”

    Damn! Too late!

  41. Casaguaya


  42. Jeremy

    yes she looks kind of wirmy like dogs have wirms in their poop piles. and then eat it except she doesnt eat it she snorts it thru her poop shoot she shoots she scores, shitney.

  43. Lenna

    RIP Frank the intern…. you will be missed. *sobs*

  44. JANE

    Her hair looks really good, you cant even tell they are extensions! She looks horrible with those stupid blue contacts I hate when she wears those…

  45. Stranger than Fiction

    Wow, this is so weird, I have that same outfit.

  46. Eye Ball Police

    Those blue contacts make her look really creepy. She should stick with the clear ones, or if she wants to look even crapper, she should go with the grey ones. The grey one will give her a nice mummy look.

  47. frankie knucks


  48. fuck you


  49. Bebo

    Something to make you smile.

    Check it out :-)

  50. SurroundedByFools


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