Britney Spears has fired the nanny that let Sean Preston fall from the high chair onto his head. Additionally, she reportedly hired a doctor to advise her on how to keep her baby safe.
Britney Spears fires the help
April 26th, 2006 // 98 Comments
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whodatiz | April 26, 2006 at 12:46 pm
FIRST! STUPID BABY!
Kathleen | April 26, 2006 at 12:47 pm
she wanted to hire him for telling her that? isn’t that just common sense? oh wait…
BigJim | April 26, 2006 at 12:47 pm
She’s been walking through the mud in that dress. First?
BigJim | April 26, 2006 at 12:47 pm
Fucking third. Damn.
CDob | April 26, 2006 at 12:47 pm
Am I the only one who doesn’t care about her anymore? She fires her incompetent nanny and this is news? I’m not blaming Superficial…I mean, it’s everywhere, but shit- this girl takes a dump and everyone has to write about it.
Chrystal03 | April 26, 2006 at 12:48 pm
What a dumbazz, who tries to hire a doctor, its called parenting biacth!!!
wunderfulpixi | April 26, 2006 at 12:49 pm
I’m sorry, she needs a DOCTOR to tell her not to dangle her baby off of high surfaces? Woman, it’s called instinct and common sense, you can’t buy them.
mamacita | April 26, 2006 at 12:49 pm
This maid had to have been Columbian or Brazilian or some shit. There’s no way a Mexican would let her paycheck go out the window like that. Fucking Columbian and Brazilian bitches.
PocketRocket | April 26, 2006 at 12:50 pm
When a newborn is properly wrapped up all nice-and-snug in a receiving blanket, they DO resemble a 7-11 microwave burrito.
Give Mrs K-Fed the benefit of the doubt on that one!
Smokey Josie | April 26, 2006 at 12:51 pm
uh, maybe she could get some parenting advise from Tom Cruise.
Oh wait, his area of expertise is in the actual birthing, and post-partum depresssion.
PocketRocket | April 26, 2006 at 12:52 pm
#10
And loving the cock
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 26, 2006 at 12:52 pm
I hope she fires her fat ass next.
Bring back the hot Britney of legend and lore! Bring back 2001.
ellaminnowpea | April 26, 2006 at 12:55 pm
it’s the only logical thing she can do to save face…..she HAD to fire the nanny because she can’t file a lawsuit against the high chair company because there wasn’t anything wrong with the high chair to begin with. She’s too high profile to pull BS stories out of her ass…everyone is on to her…..firing the nanny was her only option.
jugsgirl | April 26, 2006 at 12:57 pm
Edna reported the nanny.
o-n | April 26, 2006 at 12:57 pm
She actually needed to hire a doctor to learn “not to leave Preston on any high surfaces where he could roll off”? Wow.
ellaminnowpea | April 26, 2006 at 12:58 pm
quite frankly – she is subconsciously trying to turn K-Fed into K-FedX by having another baby. His MO is to be gone by the 8th month of the 2nd pregnancy so, if the papers are right, she only has to put up with his slime ass for another 4 months!
Vampyreska | April 26, 2006 at 12:58 pm
Dude, you spelled “advise” wrong.
BigJim | April 26, 2006 at 1:00 pm
I’m really glad I read this article — right before I leave on a trip with my two little kids to the Grand Canyon, Niagra Falls, the Empire State Building, and Land-man’s massive cock.
Thank you for helping me protect my babies.
BoobsForBob | April 26, 2006 at 1:00 pm
That crazy Britney…Tune in next time to see what wild, wacky, crazy adventures she gets into next….
chryssy11 | April 26, 2006 at 1:01 pm
Just when you think you can possibly be first, you find out how slow your PC really is. Damn dial-up.
Couldn’t she have just gotten that info from her mother instead? Unless of course Britney too was dropped on her head as an infant. That explains why she is the way she is. I doubt the nanny had anything to do with it. She probably had a bag of cheetos in one hand, dropped her cigarette, tried to catch it, in the mean time dropping the kid (so she didn’t lose the cheetos) and payed off the nanny so she didn’t go to jail.
Yeah…that’s what happened….
BoardBetty | April 26, 2006 at 1:02 pm
What she needs to do is hire someone to READ her a damned parenting book. I mean, I realize that all that time she spent as a child star means she can’t read, but that’s no reason for not to make someone read to her.
Once they’re done, they can tuck her into bed and pop a cheeto flavor binky in her mouth too!
pinky_nip | April 26, 2006 at 1:03 pm
Did she hire Dr.Rokter?
Gerald Tarrant | April 26, 2006 at 1:06 pm
Why isn’t this “sage advise” on WebMD??? Imagine all the poor children falling from high places. Bravo for bringing this oft overlooked child fatality issue to light.
ziggurat | April 26, 2006 at 1:06 pm
#22 Should hire Dr. Kevorkian
Kerra | April 26, 2006 at 1:08 pm
Other helpful hints for idiots:
1. Infants should not be used as airbags.
2. Smuggling pot into Mexico in your baby’s diaper is wrong. And potentially disgusting.
3. Yes, marijuana is a green plant and cheetos are orange. No, that does not make them the same thing as spinach or carrots.
4. Children should be kept away from electrical outlets, open flame and sharp objects at least until the age of 10. However, any child generated by Kevin Federline should be kept away from these things until the 21st birthday. At least.
BigJim | April 26, 2006 at 1:10 pm
Is it just me, or has it been a long time since we heard anything about Lindsay Lohan?
What’s that crazy, freckle-assed, sperm-snarfling slut lizard been up to these days?
I’m more curious about LL’s most recent bukake gangbang that BS’s unemployed nanny.
Inquiring minds want to know.
Gerald Tarrant | April 26, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Hohan is probably off on a coke bender somewhere with Kate and Pete. Give it time for pics/stories to surface.
tits_on_snack | April 26, 2006 at 1:12 pm
HA. This is *exactly* what I posted would happen when it was updated here that the baby fell.
BigJim | April 26, 2006 at 1:17 pm
tits_on_snack:
That must be some crystal ball you have. Who ever could have guessed that this might happen?
By the way, what exactly are tits on snack?
I don’t get it.
tits_on_snack | April 26, 2006 at 1:19 pm
by the way… *gets out pen and paper*… don’t.. leave… babies.. unattended… on.. ledges……… gotcha.
Italian Stallion | April 26, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Is it just me or is Preston in that bag in her hand?
I don’t think you should carry the baby around in a plastic bag…….Am I hired Britney?
Didn’t they split up? Someone probably told K-Swiss to throw out the trash……
BigJim | April 26, 2006 at 1:23 pm
Anyone who wants to know more about me can visit: http://bigjim.org/about-me
Well, actually, that’s not really me, but I sure wish it was, because the guy seems super cool!
tits_on_snack | April 26, 2006 at 1:28 pm
BigJim thanks for that predicatble little interjection.
The meaning of tits on snack comes from a friend’s coworker, this stout little man who had a flying snake with tits tattooed on his upper arm. My friend drew a picture of the winged-snake-with-tits tattoo, and labeled it “TITS ON SNAKE”, except she spelled snake “snack” by accident. I hope your curiosity has been quelled.
Malakite | April 26, 2006 at 1:29 pm
How can you NOT know to not leave a baby somewhere it could roll off and get hurt?
How do the stupids keep procreating!?
inspector11 | April 26, 2006 at 1:30 pm
microwaving the baby is bad for a few reasons, but chief among them is that there is no pre-setting for “baby” and it could come out all wrong. that would make her a bad mother AND a bad cook.
i recently employed a doctor full time after he saved my eyesight. “stop gauging your eye with that ice cream scoop, son” he told me. to which i said, “you, good sir, are hired.”
lish520 | April 26, 2006 at 1:30 pm
LOL @ BigJim #18. That was some funny shit!
Christine Vincent | April 26, 2006 at 1:32 pm
You people are all jerks. Britney is a great mom and she cares a lot for her son, and baby to be. Quit bashing her, she has enough to deal with already.
suzy | April 26, 2006 at 1:37 pm
the-doctor-advised-her-not-to-leave-preston-on-any-high-surfaces-where-he-could-roll-off-well-no-shit-dumbass
BigJim | April 26, 2006 at 1:39 pm
Did anyone else notice that “Christine Vincent” is a perfect anagram of “Britney Spears”?
Oh, wait, it isn’t. I really need to learn how to spell.
biatcho | April 26, 2006 at 1:47 pm
#33
Oh man, that totally ruined it for me. Kind of like when I found out the homeless guy named Street that I used to pay to keep an eye on my car for me during the workday so I didn’t get a ticket was really named Allen Street. It was so much better when I thought everyone on the block just called him Street. I thought this for 5 years.
Dr.Rokter | April 26, 2006 at 1:50 pm
…Additionally, Ms. Spears, when your husband refers to his “baby formula” at the conclusion of coitus, I beleive he is speaking metaphorically. There is a wide range of nutritional supplements avalable for infants in both liquid and powdered form. When choosing the latter, it is best to avoid boxes labeled “Nestle” or “Carnation Instant Breakfast”.
tinkerbelle | April 26, 2006 at 1:51 pm
All these young starlets making these horrible mistakes. Do you see what happens when your parents care more about making you a ‘star’ than raising you? You wind up craving stability and a homelife of your own. Only you don’t know how to make a good choice for a husband because your daddy was absent or he was behind making you a starlet with your mommy. Very sad.
tits_on_snack | April 26, 2006 at 1:52 pm
#40.. ruined what, exactly?
Great now I have to change my handle so people won’t know that I suck balls anymore. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
BarbadoSlim | April 26, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Free advice for this once and future “mother”, it will save her hundreds of thousands in Doctor’s fees:
STOP ACTING LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS!!!
bjpack | April 26, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Christine Vincent (#37), based on your model for a good mom I’m glad you are not my mom. While we’re on the subject, does anyone know who my mom is? Please mom, contact me. I’ve waited 40 years and know you are still out there. I need a mommy!
BigJim | April 26, 2006 at 1:58 pm
#43
Blame Canada. Everyone else does.
BigJim | April 26, 2006 at 1:59 pm
My son has a pet snake. It doesn’t have any tits, though.
biatcho | April 26, 2006 at 2:00 pm
43:
You have completely runied everything for me now that I know the origin of your screenname. happy now.
sharkbite | April 26, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Hire me, Britney. Even I [who hate children with a passion] will be able to raise your child far better than you ever could.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
saltpeanuts | April 26, 2006 at 2:01 pm
“The doctor advised her not to leave Preston on any high surfaces where he could roll off”
She actually paid money for that advice?!?
And I think that advice is null and void if the kid has a big PopoZao.