Britney Spears finds a needle

March 16th, 2006 // 87 Comments

britney-poked.jpgBritain’s Daily Star reports that Britney Spears was rushed to a hospital after stepping on a hypodermic needle. In a move completely out of character for her, Britney was wandering around barefoot in a parking lot when she stepped on it. A source comments:

“Britney is going to be fine. She’s got a nasty cut but it’s been disinfected and dressed and she’s been released from hospital. It was more the shock of seeing the needle poking out of her foot – as you can imagine. All sorts of things race through your mind in that situation. The conclusion we would all jump to is that it was discarded by a drug user. Britney was distraught but brave.”

No word yet on whether K-Fed got his needle back, or if this little incident will dissuade Britney from her future endeavors of wandering barefoot through public restrooms.



  1. White trash on parade!

  2. When will she ever learn? And what is her excuse for being a barefoot hillbilly this time?

  3. L.Lohan

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. You can only imagine what her feet look like anyway- the way she walks around with no shoes on all the time. A needle sticking out of her foot is pry the least of her worries with the fungus that is pry consuming her feet.

  4. Zed

    Idiots never learn. It’s the law.

  5. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    “Dammit! I TOLD Kevin that he needs to clean up after himself! What if I got germs from it, and I get like, the ebola virus? Or lockjaw? THEN how would I eat my Cheetos?”

  6. Jerk616

    That needle is now contaminated with hillbilly and I hope it gets disposed of properly this time. How does someone so quickly become a human joke so fast? Oh yeah. Karma.

  7. CoJo

    I wouldn’t of been suprised if she gave it to her baby as a toy.

    “Loookie, baybee…it’s one ah dem big doctor-type toys! Whooo’s mommy’s big-boy doctor baby?!!…Yeees! You are! Now pretend it’s time for momma’s shot!!!”

    Fucking dumb slut. I can’t believe I pittied her stupidity yesterday…tsk,tsk! Must of been an off day for me…sorry, guys.

  8. happy_bunny

    Put! On! Some! SHOES!


  9. gigi

    lol. flip flops are like, $3 at old navy, aren’t they? there’s no excuse for that kind of stupidity. she’d be the first person to get HIV b/c of walking around barefoot.

  10. Aimtrue

    Wow this will give K-Fed an out if she finally finds out he gave her HIV- K-Fed will blame the needle and say she gave it to him-nice cover if that is how this all pans out and from what we see of these two some sort of infection is being passed around

  11. She’s lucky she didn’t tread on something really nasty, like a slug or maybe a worm!

  12. I really don’t understand what would possess someone to walk around barefoot. I dont even like walking around in my socks in my own house.

  13. I really don’t understand what would possess someone to walk around barefoot. I dont even like walking around in my socks in my own house.

  14. MonkeyBrain


    “No word yet on whether K-Fed got his needle back..”

    And THAT is why I love this site. Excellent post, excellent post!

  15. CoJo

    She should of been disinfected and dressed as soon as word got out that she fucked K-Fed.

    Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh….so effing gross!

  16. christee

    this just proves what i’ve believed all along- shitney is really sasquatch. now, go back to the pacific northwest, you damn dirty ape!

  17. Alildiva

    people this stupid should NOT be allowed to reproduce.

    chances are though, it was her needle to start with…

  18. mamacita

    Someone probably had to tell her that it was in there. I mean, as much as this girl walks around barefoot, her feet probably have a texture similar to horn by now. I’m sure she didn’t feel it go in.

  19. justlikehoney1

    Whenever I see the “no shoes, no shirt, no service” sign in an establishment’s window or on their wall, I’ve always wondered who in the hell would go into such a place (usually a restaurant) without those two things. Thanks for clearing that up, Brit!

  20. LinguisticAnthro

    Unfortunately, there’s probably nothing she could catch from that needle that she hasn’t already caught from her husband.

    Just when you think she can’t become a bigger hick, she goes and suprises ya.

  21. azcoyote

    Damn it! I sat up praying last night that Paris Hilton would get AIDS and die for her purchase of a Mercedes Benz SLR McClaren and this happens to FederSpears? Doesn’t anyone listen to prayers anymore…. I can’t even get a good death wish answer… Sheez….

  22. downshine

    i walk around barefoot on the grass in my yard. NOT in fungus infested gas stations, restrooms and black top parking lots with pete doherty’s AIDS infected needles spread all over the place. i never thought i’d say this but i officailly have more respect for K-Fed than for Britney now. excuse me while i go cry myself to sleep.

  23. A simple question.

    Why is she still news?

  24. Punkgrrl

    IT’S ABOUT TIME!!!!!! Put some fucking shoes on you retard!!!

  25. lawgrrl

    trash with cash

  26. Jayne

    This settles it.
    I’m spending this weekend BAREFOOT.
    I wanna see what’s so great about it… stubbing my toes against rocks, stepping on ants, chipping my nailpolish..

    Then I’ll go to my pedicurist and give her a heart attack.

  27. xaputa

    Because she’s white trash at it’s most refinned. And we luuuuurrrv it.

    How many times did any of us accidentally step in dog turd? I mean, that already had to happen to her.

  28. seaglass

    “Hi, my name is Britney and I am too po’ for shoes”

    Yeah, and needles in parking lots probably don’t have HIV so she should be okay.

  29. Tania

    And this woman is a mother? How is she supposed to teach her child anything when all the kid has to do is say “Well YOU don’t wear shoes…so why do I have to?” “YOU eat Cheetos before dinner…so why can’t I?” “You don’t brush your hair…why do I have to?” You can see where I am going with this.

    Britney is setting a good example for her son, that’s all I’m sayin’.

  30. playahater101

    She’s an idiot. Why wouldn’t she wear any shoes through a parking lot? I saw a pic today of her with her 6 month old, sitting on the beach. She had her baby laying on her lap without a shirt or a hat. Someone should tell her (as all mom’s know) babies skin is super sensitive and she should put a shirt and hat on him. Who allowed this girl to reproduce? She can’t even take care of herself.

  31. Proteon

    There are lots of places on the internet frequented by people who are shameless to reveal their lack of life and or class. When it comes to Britney, this site wins. Your collective lukewarm condemnation is equal to your prior collective brainless adoration of her. It’s a witch hunt. Get her folks! There she goes!!!

  32. Tracy

    No Britney, not VITAMIN C… HEPATITIS C! Silly girl.

  33. scarlett138

    BAHAHAHA…oh i’m so surprised she walks around barefoot… seriously, she DESERVES to be stabbed by a needle and bleed excessively that idiot

  34. ESQ

    Headline in two years:

    “Spears Dies of AIDS While K-Tard Lives On to Taunt Us “Straight 2008″

  35. Beeyotch

    Ahem, Proteon:

    Surely you meant, “Thar she BLOWS!”

    Thank you.

  36. ESQ

    I read everyone hatin’ on her mothering skills, but did anyone stop to think her mother was probably not the greatest example either. Otherwise this hillbilly do things the right way or at the very least have some common sense..

  37. Beeyotch

    Oh, and I could do a song and softshoe dance all day to the tune of “She Brought It On Herself,” but it’s been done…

    If you’re that fucking dumb and don’t learn from making the same mistakes over and over again, you deserve to be ridiculed.

  38. Dee

    the needle was probably cleaner than her foot anyway.


    ya poor needle..


  40. Bugman4045

    I don’t know, but I quit walking around cities barefoot when I was around 14, and I grew up in the Ft. Lauderdale beach area! Seriously, how much more hillbilly can this bitch get? Are we going to find out that she and Kfed are cousins? Or maybe the papparazi will catch her cookin’ possum stew!

  41. Bugman, you’re from Lauderdale? I’m from the 305! are u my brother from a different mother? :-)

  42. Sheva

    Is the cost of a new needle coming out of K-dick’s allowance?

  43. I’m in the group that’s pitying the needle. Have you seen her feet? They can barely be catagorized as such.

  44. krisdylee

    I’m officially over slagging Britney. Part of my maternal instinct wants to ask her to my place, and grab her ear, haul her to the “time out” chair, and make her write “I will divorce K-Fed” a thousand times. Then we will have hot cocoa and talk about feelings…. perhaps I shall guide her in the true religion, Clitolah… ha hahahahaha
    i kill me….

  45. pixel killya

    Britney spears dirty foot with dirty needle…News at 11!

  46. voodoochild

    popozao, bitches.

  47. honey

    #9- justlikehoney1
    am i wrong in seeing that you want to be just like me? ***blushes and bats eyelashes***
    no? oh, well okay then.. may i perhaps be just like you?

  48. Charm

    there’s casual friday, then there is this. Run a comb through your hair, put on something other than a white tank, wife beater, or jean shorts. Gaw. I don’t even care about the needle I just want to see her looking like she didn’t just crawl out of a dumpster

  49. Zed

    Remember when she said she went to the hospital because Sean P. was constipated? But it turned out she went because she was having “gastrointestinal distress”??

    Well, maybe she’s making this up too and really went to the hospital because Sean P. got sun burn/stroke thanks to his mommy’s numbskull stupidity in failing to put a simple hat on his head or cover up his sensitive skin in Hawaii’s sun.

    I didn’t like her before, but could tolerate her stupidity and just poke fun at her. As of this moment on, I’m really angry to see she truly is a moron–and a lousy mother to boot.

    Won’t someone teach her how to be a good mother?? Hire someone if you have to, and pay lots of $$$$ if you must, but–someone, please SOMEONE–save that poor baby from the likes of this brainless looney tune.

    Thank you one and all.

  50. Dee

    She gets more disgusting by the day. Post #9 suggested some Old Navy flip flops, I thought the exact same thing when I read the story. I wouldt step out my front door without something on my feet (and I usually wear flip flops or slippers in the house). It just further proves her skankiness.

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