Britney Spears files for divorce

November 7th, 2006 // 222 Comments
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Britney Spears filed for divorce today citing “irreconcilable differences” and asking for both legal and physical custody of their two children with K-Fed getting reasonable visitation rights. As for money, the two have already signed a prenup, although Britney is waiving her right to spousal support. She’s also asking the judge to make each party pay their own attorney’s fees, which means when they show up in court Britney is gonna have her expensive celebrity lawyer and K-Fed is gonna have half a hot dog because he couldn’t afford the rest.

Britney also gives the date of separation as yesterday, which is the same day she showed up on David Letterman’s show looking oddly good. I don’t want to imply Kevin Federline was the cancer in this relationship, but if we still remember who this guy is in 6 months it’ll be a testament to how far we’ve fallen as a society.

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  1. BigJim

    krisdylee:

    Uh, well, okay.

    And I hope K. Earl Fetid-Slime enjoys working for a living. I look forward to the day that I see him handing me a Big Mac at the drive-through window.

    Then I’ll go tell his boss that he spit in it and get him fired.

  2. ffordegroupie

    prideofchucky, hey ass, try blaming it on idiot MTVers rather than trashing religions and countries. Believe me, nobody except Britney’s desperate fans think that she’s gonna get her shit together.

  3. BarbadoSlim

    Oh OH this reminds of that movie with Jennifer Love Tatas , hmmmmmmm… yeah “Can’t Hardly Wait” when the asshole gets what’s coming to him at the party……lemme see, oh, I remember

    FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGG!!!

  4. James

    Now she can date a perfectly good white guy like me who isn’t racially confused not to mention I’m not remotely a fucking loser like federline.

  5. w00t w00t w00t!

    adult-sized underoos –> http://www.funderpants.com

  6. magickal

    Way to go Britney. This is the smartest thing she has done for her career since she started boning this bag of dirty assholes.

    Now, if she can just get the image of a baby on each hip out of the minds of countless men, she may be able to reinstate to her position of damn good jerk off material.

    K-FAG!

  7. prideofchucky

    Ok ffordegroupie, though they prob don’t deserve it I’ll take back Christian and American but I’m still sticking with White Trash. You’ll only take that away my COLD DEAD HANDS, baby!

    #55- brillant Mocker, thanx for the chuckle.

  8. kikigamine

    Exercising really does clear your mind huh Britney? As soon as she gets her beauty back, she dumps ugly K-Fed. Good choice.

  9. Missallanpoe

    This actually shocks me..but doesn’t at the same time. Jesus tap dancing christ..there has to be another reason for the break-up. Maybe it’s because his rap career went down the toilet…well..not like it was actually booming.

  10. It still frightens me how long it took her to WAKE UP and realize she was WAY too hot for that guy. Eh. Fuck it. SPEARS 2008!!!!

    #109 It’s like you’re psychic.

  11. Man, what a great day, KFed is out, and the Neo Cons are out numbered in congress. Oh the days!

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  12. tarjamarja

    I didn’t read the thread, but did anyone by any chance already say “finally”? ‘Cause that’s what I was going to say.

    Good riddens, K-Fed, good riddens.

  13. sayll

    No way, no freakin way. Awesome. Stay tuned for husband #3. Any guesses?

  14. hav-a-tampa

    Hell YEA. ! About Time She Dumped his Sorry Ass

  15. Missallanpoe

    110, I don’t know about psychic..nor do I know about her being hott…but ok, lets go with that.

  16. BabyBopamajig

    Her two brain cells floating around her otherwise empty brain were bound to collide sooner or later. What a moment of clarity THAT must have been.
    #70, Please tell me you made that link up as a joke and she didn’t really say she was ‘excited to be sweating again’. Seriously, EXCITED? To be SWEATING?

  17. polypam

    I gotta just say, I’m sitting here with a bit of insomnia reading all the comments and crying of laughter from most of them. So thank you kids, THANK YOU! God bless us, everyone!

    But fuck Perez Hilton.

  18. supanigga

    kfed played her well.

    he’s gonna get part of her cash and go back to shar jackson!

  19. KelKel

    Looks like Brit went to the Whitney Houston School of Publicity!

  20. sugarplum

    There’s no makeover in the world that will make me forget how she looked when she went loose.

    I’ve seen the real Brits, I’m not buying the new product.

  21. KelKel

    Even dumping him,she is and will always be white trash.

  22. EliasAlucard

    lol @ K-Fag.

  23. Genius! Kevin was a pawn all along. This is nothing more than a big publicity stunt. Think about it. Now, everyone will be on Britney’s side, especially her majority clientel, more than ever. I mean, come on, Kevin releasing an album with a premise of doing drugs, partying, promiscuity, right after a second child, and making a point each and every time the Pap asked about the family to follow up with, “Playing With Fire…October 31…”

    This sets Britney up for a HUGE comeback. It is going to be her rebirth. No way could she have achieved the stardom she will have in the coming months without this elaborate scheme! Pure fucking genius.

  24. frenchtoaststix

    I have two words for you people:

    Rob Camelletti

  25. Mr. Fritz

    I agree with you, Alex; I mentioned it was probably a publicity stunt in my previous comment. I hope she doesn’t have a comeback, because she sucked shit back then and still does. Yeah, I wonder where Cher’s ex is now, still delivering bagels?

  26. RichPort

    #123 – You’re partially right. This actually sets Britney up for a huge cumback. Everyone knows a newly single white girl with a fat booty loves her some rampant doggie style. Do you hear me Britney? I’m calling you up so I can hit your popozao like a fucking jackhammer. I can’t wait for her first walk of shame photos!!!

  27. jrzmommy

    Hopefully he’ll hook up with Paris Hilton so Britney can pound the fuck out of her, a la Shanna Moakler and Shannen Doherty.

  28. happy hands club

    I love how the divorce paper is “fill in the blanks” so even white trash retards can file.

    He repulses me. I have to honestly say though I truely thought they were made for each other.

    It is beyond my comprehension why she is such a big star to begin with. It’s not like she can sing. I really hope she fails at her comeback.

  29. happy hands club

    Also…she still has weight to lose and I hate her haircut!

  30. Just got off the hook with an accomplice in Chicago and she stated that Earl’s House of Blues performance tonight might be cancelled as well. No elaboration as to why, but I can 99.99% be sure that it is lack of public interest.

    As the Tourette’s guy would say, Earl is truly, “Out of the shit and into the fuck”

    He might as well be a guy living in a $300k condo in Sherman Oaks. That would be getting off easy in my opinion.

  31. roflynsolo

    I figured that when Brit became pregnant the 2nd time around that she would wait until the babe was born before filing for divorce. Even though she didn’t need to because she’s a star I think that she wanted both babies to be legitimate. Kevin was just a sperm donor.

  32. Oh, I forgot to add that I hope Britney isn’t secretly financing her Earl pawn on the side and that she lets him sweat a little before their inevitable “get-back-together” that will follow her aforementioned rebirth.

  33. happy hands club

    Has the world gone mad? What is it this week with the fat has beens losing a LITTLE weight then prancing on stage on national tv -STILL FAT- like they are the hottest thing ever?

  34. gatorbates

    This leads to a very important question:

    Is she still trailer trash?

    I would say yes, but in the same sentence offer my face to her as a seat.

    Prediction: The world will now watch Earl as he goes down the dark path of single fatherhood of 4 kids until the path ends in suicide.

    Two Bits
    Four Bits
    Six Bits
    A Dollar
    All for Earl ending it all
    stand up and hollar!

  35. Bugman4045

    Superfish guy…you are done.
    You were late with the one post that you should have been first with. People in the comments were talking about it by 2pm, and you still had nothing up at 6:30pm. This site has been slipping for a long time.
    You have had some classic observations in the past, (I will forever refer to Kirsten Dunst as Pebbletooth because of you), but you have become too slow with the posts, and too predictable with your comments, (“And if by [phrase] you mean [some other phrase]…”). Ironically, you have proved yourself too superficial for me to rely upon for my celebrity dirt. It is too bad.

  36. Miranda

    Yess, I hope this is real and they’re not back together in a few months. Although, Britney will never be the same. I’ve seen too many fat photos of her chewing on cheetos.

  37. happy hands club

    “Oh babay babay”…what a masterpiece!

  38. jrzmommy

    I wonder if she found out that he hooked up with Hohan?

    As an aside, as if she HAD to request custody. Like he’s gonna fight her for custody. Shh…is that Shar I hear laughing hysterically?

  39. ch474

    Good for BritBrit. You be the single Mom dragging two kids on world tours. Hire live in nannys to work in shifts, hell it’ll be cheaper than paying the insurance on the Federarri. As soon as the boobs go back to normal after weaning in a year or so, she’ll be hitting the career comeback trail hard.

    As for Fed-ex (bonus points to the first one on that!), welcome to obscurity. Good to be home isn’t it? Enjoy your $360,000 in one year spousal support. Your $5 mil from the house buyout? Expect Shar to get her hooks in for half, your weasel lawyers in for 30% off the top. You pay tax on that too dontcha? Here’s a word you’ve never used before – Saving. Look it up in the dictionary if you can read. Your “album” will set a record for fastest to the delete bin. Promoters begging to cancel shows or having to give away tickets, and even then only having 25% capacity? Tour – such as it is – soon cancelled. Locks changed at home. 4 kids under 5, no job, no prospects, no place to live, no Amex card. Wow, sucks to be you doesn’t it? Personally I blame bad karma from Enzo Ferrari for daring to mess with something with his name on it. May I suggest the first thing on your to-do list be a vasectomy. Then of course the celebrity Bobbit porno tape before disappearing into the ether like last years food poisoning. As my daughter hates the wig-word, you are just another wangster no talent hack. Grow up, get a job, you have jumped the shark, everyone hates you for the parasite you are, be man for your kids. The party is over and you killed the goose that lays golden eggs.

    And if nobody else is up for it, I’m all for getting in line for fondling krisdylee’s titties. I like titties. Titties are fun.

  40. happy hands club

    #138 good point. It makes you wonder why. I mean not too long ago when she whined to Matt Lauer she said how wonderful things were. I really didn’t believe her. The nicest thing she said about her husband is “he’s simple”. If things were so wonderful, why would she get rid of him?

  41. RichPort

    “Playing With Fire” and “Paris” are now being used to extract confessions and concessions from incommunicado Al Qaeda types around the world. Rather than be ridiculed, those two should be honored for having their horrible music help protect Americans, you know, so they don’t come get us over here.

    K Fed on the next Surreal Life? Paris on the Flava of Love 3? What would Flava Flav nickname her? herps??? Anything is possible… place your bets, folks.

  42. frenchtoaststix

    #140 – She left off the “-minded” from “simple.”

  43. happy hands club

    I knew that interview would come back and bite her in the big ass.

  44. Tracy

    It’s bad karma to steal another woman’s man. Just ask Britney.

  45. Tracy

    I would add that Shar is probably at home laughing her ass off, but then who’s going to pay her child support? Not K-Tard.

  46. cynicalheretic

    Unreal, it took her this long to realize the guy was worthless. He calls himself kfed!!! That should have been the first fucking sign.

  47. Italian Stallion

    Think about the children people! Who are they going to call dumbass now? It’s just not fair………

  48. happy hands club

    You just have to wonder if he ever paid Shar child support. He seems to be the typical deadbeat that would try to get out of paying support because he couldn’t find work. You know being underrated and all.

  49. PrettyBaby

    #141 Rich baby, You forget that Popozao can be used to force detainees to form a naked pyramid. Thanks for the laughs already darlin, I had a bad night- I hate men.

    Good for Britney, yeah whatever, she is just a publicity whore though. She is just trying to further her career. I’m all for kicking K-Fed’s droopy drawers but she “LOVED” him so much before and now this…..

    All I ask is that someone with balls will “pants” Earl at one of these fucking concerts.

  50. PrettyBaby

    And the Britney fanclub is making me crabby around here. WTF? I mean I liked “I’m a Slave For YOU” but other than that- yuckity yuck.

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