Britney Spears’ family wants to marry her off

With her conservatorship almost over and the tour money no longer rolling on, it only makes sense that Britney Spears’ family want to pawn her off to the next loser. Britney’s mom talks to Us Weekly about Jason Trawick (above) making the perfect sucker husband:

“Lynne said, ‘He’s the kind of man you would dream of your daughter marrying. The kids love him, and he’s stable,'” a friend tells Us Weekly.
Trawick, 37, stood by Spears, 27, during her darkest moments (she was involuntarily committed twice to a psychiatric hospital in 2008 and lost custody of sons Sean, 4, and Jayden, 3, the year before).
“Most everyone else abandoned her, but Jason refused to be completely cut out of Britney’s life,” says a source. “He’s very protective of her.”

That’s true, Jason is very protective of Britney, so clearly that means he wants to marry her. I mean, there couldn’t possibly be any other motive like, oh I dunno, the fact he’s her agent and brings in 10% off every dime she makes. That’s just crazy talk. This is romance, says Us Weekly!