Britney Spears’ family expects her to die

October 3rd, 2007 // 87 Comments

Britney Spears’ aunt Chanda McGovern is speaking out about her family’s fear that Britney will commit suicide. And here we go, finally the family members are being dug out of the south and interviewed. The circus is now complete. Now I am the master. Whoops, sorry, ignore that last line. Here’s what Chanda had to say to The Sun:

On Britney possibly committing suicide:
“We are worried about suicidal tendencies in her. Everything is spiraling down and she has not got a backbone — a family member to help her. We fear that one day we may turn on the TV that she’s done something terrible to herself.”

On Britney’s outlandish behavior:
“Every time you turn the TV on it’s something and every time it’s more negative than the last. It gets worse and worse. Not wearing panties is not something a true southern girl would do. Then, in front of the paparazzi when she crashed into the car and said, ‘Oops’ and took off, she knows better than that.”

On Britney’s VMA performance:
“In some of the clips we’ve seen it looks like either she’s on something or so drunk she doesn’t know what world she’s in. It’s heartbreaking. Everybody is human, but she needs to come back down to earth. Her mother was always her backbone. Since they’ve fallen out everything has gone to hell.”

On Britney’s kids:
“The kids came second and her party life came first so it really wasn’t a shock that the kids have been taken away from her. It was just very disappointing. You just want to reach out and grab her and hug her and tell her you love her. I want to knock some sense into her and say, ‘Britney — wake up!’”

Look, I’ve got this whole thing figured out. I can’t sit on the sidelines without offering some sort of assistance here. What you need with Britney is some sort of reward system. Every time she gets the kids to brush her teeth, hey, here’s a Chalupa. Make it one day without dropping one, surprise, welcome to your Blizzard. Now for the more serious matters; If Britney makes it a whole week without drinking, Ronald McDonald will come to her house and bring a sack full of Big Macs. You might question my methods, but keep in mind I’m not a licensed therapist. I did house-train a dog once, so I think that qualifies me in regards to Britney. Actually I think that makes me overqualified, but I don’t have time to quibble over details.

Images: Splash

  1. Bah


  2. I think we would all be better served if we stopped watching her train-wreck antics and the paparazzi would stop photographing her. She is a woman in obvious need of serious professional help. We should force her into seclusion so that she can put herself together.

  3. JP

    I have nothing funny to say.

  4. Whodey

    I agree with number 2. While it was amusing at first…the woman obviously is in need of serious help. The constant attention must only be making her crazy.

  5. Oops, i crapped my pants!

    Bring on the suicide. That would be the only entertaining thing she ever did. Well that, and shaving her head.

  6. adeliza


    I Disagree.

    When she went all maniac and was trying to beat that car down with the umbrella. That was the funniest!
    Oh Man!

  7. John

    I agree with #2…ignore her. If she kills herself. Big freakin deal. Numerous people have reached out to her and she ignores them. She makes $700K a month…she has everything she needs to get her life back in order. If she ignores that and kills least that’s one less thing I have to read about. Go joing Anna Nicole and all her drugs in the sky and get out of the news.

  8. ihatedumbpeople








  9. Tamponhead

    Britney 88 the cowboy boots

  10. adeliza

    I think the correct slang term is ’86 the boots!

  11. Oops, i crapped my pants!

    #6 I stand corrected. That was pretty God damn funny. I also really liked the “Britney angry, Britney smash” comments on this site when that was happening.

  12. adeliza


    But…. after cautiously expanding the pics, who gives a rat’s ass if it’s 88 or 86? Those damn boots are FONK!!!!

  13. It was my understanding that she had her backbone removed because it was claiming space that could be used for her belly.

  14. big

    Please dont die Britney. You tube has enough crap .

  15. adeliza

    Man, that look on her face was priceless. I swear I think she thought she was the fucking Incredible Hulk. And, you know what they say about insane people. They have the strength of 10 men. I bet that bitch could have taken that car on with that umbrella.

  16. jonnyd

    I know it’s your *job* to post this shit, but this hardon you’ve got for Britney is getting really old.

    OK, OK. We get it. She likes MacDonalds. Hyuk hyuk hyuk. Bag of big Macs, etc etc. Man you slay me.

    Can’t you find something new to talk about? You’ve been recycling the same shit 3 times a week for 2 months.

  17. djthecat

    shouldn’t britney’s real hair be long enough now to take out the extensions?

  18. my comment

    She already looks dead in that lead photo.

  19. hegadeth

    Elvis called. He would like his sunglasses back.

  20. Spongebob Gangsta

    Although i strongly dislike her and her “talent”,
    I would never wish death on anyone with the problems she has.
    She needs help.

  21. MissPMS

    Everytime I see a picture of Spears I get a whiff of old tuna, dirty diapers cigarettes and Jack Daniels.

  22. Satan

    Ewww her nail polish looks terrible… what is happening in your head Britney, don’t you have someone on staff that worries about your nailpolish for you?

  23. Chris

    The family needs to hogtie her, throw her in the back of a pickup truck and take her back to the bayou to detox. Her career is over, and a lot of us wonder if she’ll off herself too. I wish she’d just disappear from the news already, the train has wrecked just too many times.

  24. ssdd

    *sigh*.. Nothing to say..

  25. Casey

    Anyone notice her weird finger in the picture?

  26. It’s refreshing they her family call her on the stupid things she does, instead of being enablers like LiLo’s family, or making excuses, like Paris’s parents.

  27. hank

    is that some bubble gum under her purse

  28. I hate people

    Here’s Britney reacting to losing of her ugly bird hat (awe Brit don’t cry just go find a mirror and everything will be okay or you know just touch your head),,20100371_2,00.html

    and here’s britney reacting to the loss of her two children(“yeah it’s party time finaly those brats are gone!”)

  29. BunnyButt

    Is that a wad o’ chawin’ terbacky in that boy’s cheek?

    My ovaries, which are going to do most of my talking from now on, are stunned to see Britney wearing shorts under that dress … er, top … instead of letting her cooch hang out. My ovaries are so confused.

  30. Bonny

    Kids are not ugly. Kids are innocent. Please don’t talk about them that way. They don’t talk ugly about you #8 and I bet you aren’t near as cute as a little pink piggy either.
    #8 get a life. And if you want to talk bad about someone, talk bad about the man who video taped himself raping a 3 year old girl. It’s all over Check it out and try to do something productive like spreading the word about real news.
    EVERYONE ELSE – leave the poor girl alone. If only she had someone who she could lean on instead of everyone making fun of her every move, maybe she could be ok.

  31. adeliza


    You are right! That looks like a big old wad of Gator Gum. You know, the kind of gum that stoners chew when their mouths get too dry from all of that puffin’!

  32. gcoke

    @ Bonny -

    you’ve obviously stepped on the wrong site – maybe you should try lifetime.. and get yourself a box of chocolates while you’re at it.

  33. gcoke

    that would suck if she dies – i mean, what would we read about? i might actually have to learn about uhh politics or something.

  34. Bonny

    GCOKE –

    Right site. Thanks for the suggestion and chocolates sound great right now!! Just what I’m craving!!

    Thanks again!

  35. #30…

    Kids are ugly.

    Kids are evil.

    I propose a 5 year hiatus on any and all people having children on this planet until Zygor, Supreme Ruler of the Universe says its okay.

  36. Bonny

    #35 Moondiaper –
    kids are great! But thank you for your opinion!

  37. adeliza

    kids are not great. they overpopulate the earth. then they will overpopulate the moon. then mars. then……who knowssssssssssssssssssss

    heh heh.

  38. Prowlinger

    Ok… tweed hat, ragdoll jumper outfit, Elvis sunglasses, western “Cowboy BABY!” boots, tight red hooker shorts, cheap necklace from Clair’s Boutique, and the ugly purse with Gateraid Green Gum….

    CLASSIC. Can someone tell me who her fashion designer is? Kid Rock?


    Feel sorry for the kids though… you can see the torment in their eyes…

  39. Me

    Hey Fish, not everyone from the south is lacking their teeth and marrying their brother, sister or daddy’s brother’s daddy’s sister’s daughter/cousin. There are a quite a few of us who are well educated and cultured…just saying…

  40. adeliza


    Yeah! I was born in Louisiana, my family is from Mississippi, and I now live in Georgia.
    I’ms edukated.

  41. Gettin Old

    I don’t mind the constant bashing of Britney thats all good, but dude you post the same shit over and over that has something to do with a big mac or whatever.

    Get some new material your Britney posts are becoming as pathetic as her.

  42. Smush

    Personally I think Britney has lost her identity (if she ever had one). Instead, she sees her identity wrapped up in being the focus of the pap’s; if she doesn’t get photographed everyday, she will fail to exist. Its sad, really. I had fun bashing her for quite a while, but it is getting too sad. If she does kill herself I would feel bad. She’s been exploited since she was a young girl; primarily by the person she trusted the most (her mom). Maybe she finally realized that. Where do you go from there? Now she is exploiting herself. She has no respect for herself or her body. I think everyone she trusts ends up betraying her. Hell, she can’t even get laid w/o worrying if the persons gonna sell her out. I start to feel sorry for her, but then she pulls some selfish shit, like crashing into someone’s car and only checking her own car for damage. Overall, I think she once was a sweet southern belle that never had too much going on upstairs, and now she is lost and has no identity, and is really messed up; particularly since her relationship with her mom fell apart. And I believe she was madly in love w/ Kfed, and maybe for the first time in her life she didn’t get her way. Kfed never loved her, only the money and lifestyle. Thats probably why she fell in love with him; he was the first person to not totally kiss her ass and worship her. Anyways, I bet her whole family is embarrassed and ashamed of her at this point. Can you imagine? She is one of the most rich and famous women in the world; yet she is shameful. Anyways, its also shameful that we as a country are so wrapped up in a messed up old pop tart. Why is she so important? I think maybe we like the distraction from the harsh realities of the war, etc, etc, and everything else crappy thats going on. Okay, I’ll shut up now…sorry to get all Dr Phil on your ass.

  43. I still see Britney as a person. I don’t want to bash anyone who says nasty things about her, but the whole Britney situation is not funny at all. Why do people thinking driving a person to their death is fun? We all have our faults, they just aren’t constantly posted on the internet. Wouldn’t it be “funny” if they were though?

  44. lil princess

    i really wanna be her assistant. i just wanna know what REALLY goes down. and hey… i bet she would buy me a new car!!

  45. ha8ter

    Oh please. Her situation isn’t the least bit sad. It’s disgusting. Do you see the stupid smile on her face all the time? It’s not a sad one. She is thrilled that someone is paying attention to her, even if it’s negative attention. Oh wait. That is sad. What’s even more sad is her crappy fashion sense. PPPPPPOOOOOOOORRRR Britney.

  46. applecrisp

    What’s that green slime oozing out from the bottom of her purse?

  47. BunnyButt

    46, that’s whar she keeps her extry piece o’ gum, jest fer emergencies.

  48. Seriously WTF?

    Wasn’t she making a record or trying to get one finished recently? What does she do during the daytime? Is her life now just driving around and letting papparazzi take pictures of her while she runs stupid errands and eats fast food? Christ what a sad life, her’s and the dumbshit photographers.

  49. bint

    Those are some damned fugly kids…they have that nasty white trash look about them, and I think they smell sour.

  50. Xenu

    This looks like a job for

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