UPDATE: Britney Spears faces questions in custody battle

December 12th, 2007 // 82 Comments

Britney Spears will be questioned in court today by Kevin Federline’s lawyers. She has avoided a deposition four times so far this year, but Kevin’s lawyers finally got the judge to put Britney on the stand. She’ll be drilled on her drug and alcohol use and parenting skills. The process could take several days, according to People:

“A deposition can be emotionally draining, because Kevin’s lawyer can ask very personal questions about her relationship with her kids – and she’ll be under oath,” explains L.A. family lawyer Lynn Soodik, who’s not involved with the case.

This should be some hardcore legal action that makes Law & Order look like your sister’s bike. Pink and fruity but you’ll still ride it to work. Anyway, I’m hoping to see Kevin Federline’s attorneys ask Britney Spears the tough question: When will she show her vagina again? Not that I want to see it or anything. I just happen to have a tarp I’d like to throw over it then possibly hold in place with a staple gun. I guess you can say I’m trying to live up to this WWJD bracelet I stole from a stripper.

UPDATE: Britney Spears is not attending the court hearing today citing a medical condition. Kevin’s lawyers are pissed, according to TMZ. I, on the other hand, think it’s cute they thought Britney would show up without being told there’d be a petting zoo.

superficial

  1. Ginger

    FIRST!

  2. When she stops acting childish, and stupid.They should give her, her kids back. Althought it is quite entertaining for me to read. :D

  3. Anexio

    All right this is just getting rediculous. im begging to think that you people are just tanting me beacuase nobody can be that stupid that they dont see the light at the end of all of these rainbows which is just a day in brit life. brit is a natral born talint and has crated some pretty awsome music in her day. she really is the only pop signer that can really say she done it all and it takes a big person like brit to pull that off day after day. and this is so funny becasue she does all this with class and digny of a world class icon that she is.

    I love brit forwever and none of you will can alternate my believes in her. she is a two sided coin in that she can sing and dance and also entertain us with her life as weel as mingel amonst us as a regular person. ha hah tell me that doesnt take a great person that none of us on this site can attaine. if you are without sins then you should start thrwoing stones at yourselves and leave brit alone to rasie her to sons. GIVE BRIT HER BABY BACKS

  4. Annabel

    I hope she doesn’t wear those damn boots to the court.

  5. Anexio is a fucktard

    #5, please stay in school until you complete the 2nd grade, even if it takes another 8 years.

    Is that jizz running down her thigh?

  6. POOTER

    HA HA HA @#5 “GIVE BRIT HER BABY BACKS”

    BABY BACK RIBS, THAT IS. WITH A SIDE OF DEEP-FRIED CHEETOS AND A LARGE FRAPPACINO.

  7. Gerald_Tarrant

    I think that Brit’s fashion should be questioned as much if not more than her parenting skills.

    The truth though:

    Britney to her lawyer: “I’m being deposed? But I was born in America, can they do that?”

  8. p911gt10c

    Ooooo, “under oath”, like that means anything to this broad.

    oh, and #1, you’re a loser.

  9. Auntie Kryst

    @5 Good morning Anexio, I trust you slept well? With that out of the way, now on to the tanting of brit.

    I do so beacuase as you say I no without sins so I should start thrwoing stones at the pritty one. But I no thrwo stones at choo. I agee wiht choo’s commints. This is jus so rediculous. ha hah

    No one here to make the funny of the pretty one! She dance, sing, eat, drink starbuk, use mobil fone during moving car, eat, and dress with digny too! The pretty one is a grate person as weel. No one here wil attaine mingel with the pretty one beacuase you are stupid two sided face coin. Leave the pritty one alone to rasie her suns.

    You all shude want to help the brit. I too want to see view lite at end of rainbows and geeve brit my pot of gold at end of tunnil becase she crated awsme musica. I too want to attaine for the big person icon her baby backs and a blooming onin from Outback Stakehous.

    Stay tru to your believes y love forwever,
    AK

  10. Sam Hain

    So what do you suppose that white smear down her right thigh is?
    Crystal Meth?
    Semen?
    Maybe the chlamydia has caused flooding?
    hmmm…

  11. Will one of those questions be why she wears stupid clothes?

  12. To be honest with you:
    Lately, you are looking like a very cheap HEROINE-WHORE. Is this the meaning of all this? And all of a sudden you’re starting to look HOT and mature again!!
    ARE THOSE YOUR PLANS?!

  13. Kris

    ”Member how she was a walking boner in the Pepsi commercials? Exhibit A:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EEZLYKN8Fo

    Sad how nowadays she makes Tara Reid look hot.

  14. Kirsten

    Yes Anexio, we are just taunting you. We are all too stupid. Why don’t you go put on a pretend Britney Spears concert with your Rainbow Brite dolls… maybe eventually you will decide to replace that Britney Spears poster with the one with the kitty on it that says “Hang in There!” It’s more grown up and stuff.

  15. Wouldn't Hit It

    She looks like a 20 dollar prostitute.

  16. DayInCourt

    Here’s how court plays out:

    Lawyer: Is it true you bring home strange men and have sex with them in front of your children?

    Britney: Well how else will they learn about sex.

    Judge: I can’t rule on this until I’ve gone home with Britney and witnessed this. And Britney remember that I’m a very strange man.

  17. lg

    Are those magic boots? Cuz she’s been wearing them a long time, apparently unaware that they do nothing for her tree trunk legs.

    If, as you say, she reads this site, she might take a hint: LOSE THE BOOTS!

  18. veggi

    #5 makes me happy :) I can’t stop snorting..

  19. yukadoozer

    I’m sure the judge will conclude that Strawberry Shortcake has changed her ways
    and take her kids away from Huckberry Pie to go live with her lezzy assistant Lemon Chiffon.

  20. shaggy

    everything i hate about america is right there in that picture: 1) wigs, 2) cowboy boots, 3) starbucks, 4) cell phones, 5) white trash, 6) fat, 7) people that wear sunglasses at night, and 8) britney spears. dammitall to hell.

  21. Bazooka Joe

    There was a custody fight over D. Richards to determine who had to take him.

  22. sue

    I will be shocked if she even shows up to give her deposition.

  23. That was some funny shit Auntie!!! Hahahahaha!!!

  24. kickherinthetwat

    I’m guessing someone repeatedly kicked her mom in the poon while she was pregnant with Britney.

  25. a doe

    I hope she doesn’t wear that stupid wig to court!

  26. MassGrrl

    Her legs look really thin. Much thinner than recent photos have shown.

    Could she perhaps be doing drugs like meth or crack? Oh, I certainly hope not.

  27. missj

    @# 8- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

    JAHAHAHAHHA

  28. Jumpin J

    Yup, she’s got a medical condition. She overdosed on Frappachinos… AGAIN! Oh yeah, I went there.

    Personally, I’m amazed #5 didn’t type “Stop hatin on Brittney!!! If you pick on her, you’ll have to deal with me!!! Leave her alone!!!”

    Speaking of which, if you want to see if the “Leave Brittney Alone” guy Chris Crocker “blends”, try this site. It’ll make you chuckle if nothing else. http://www.joecartoon.com/cartoons/652-wuss_in_a_blender

  29. 23apples

    They really think she understands what “under oath” really means? If she doesn’t understand why she can’t have her children, can’t properly drive a car, doesn’t know what a sombrero is even when she is wearing one, and can’t seem to put a pair of underwear on… what makes anyone think she will see the seriousness in being put under oath? I think it will just be a very funny story to read about later.

  30. Ted from LA

    Hey #4,
    My God is first.
    My family second.
    And I am third.
    And 3 is 4th.

  31. H.A.L.9000

    #23 – Shags, couldn’t agree more. Except those aren’t really cowboy boots. They’re just damn ugly.

    I’ve studied the pic with the white stuff on her leg. I’m pretty sure it’s whipped cream from driving around with her starbucks thingie in her lap.
    I’m also pretty sure that a Benz or whatever has drink holders, but….dang yall.

    Medical Condition = Hangover; possibly Syphillis-related dementia

  32. I thought that shit on her leg must be from her and Sam Lufti snorting powdered donuts off of each others bodies.

  33. zz

    She loves all of this attention. She is loving every minute of it.

    I really hope she shows up to court in that wig.

    How the fuck doesn’t she weight 600 lbs by now, she’s always got damn starbucks drinks in her hands.

  34. zz

    ps.
    a venti drink at that!

  35. I’m sorry. I totally forgot what I was going to post because my head is spinning after reading #5. Anexio, lay off the crack –at least until lunchtime.

  36. tp

    did somebody say crack?

  37. i love to laugh

    11 -
    No one here to make the funny of the pretty one! She dance, sing, eat, drink starbuk, use mobil fone during moving car, eat, and dress with digny too! The pretty one is a grate person as weel. No one here wil attaine mingel with the pretty one beacuase you are stupid two sided face coin. Leave the pritty one alone to rasie her suns.”

    that made me laugh.

  38. why, yes they did tp……..

  39. Yeah!!! Leave me alone!!!..

  40. drewb

    She’s disgusting. She has no problem going out in front of all of the paps with no underwear on in a short skirt to get a frickin’ coffee but when it comes to her having to be accountable for her actions she can’t handle the attention and gets anxiety. Take a frickin’ Xanax. You know you have them.

  41. Bill Gates

    hehe I saw the video of this on TMZ last night, it was funny! Brit Brit kept saying ” I’m scared!” I think her only true fans are the papparazzi

  42. veggi

    I’m glad she’s not there. Why the fuck should she have to be interrogated in court??? She’s the goddam mother. Have some respect.

  43. tp

    You’re gay

  44. hey veggi, apparently you have now snorted way too much. LOL

  45. POOTER

    #45, Please tell me that statement was said dripping with sarcasm.
    “She’s the goddman mother. Have some respect.”
    WTF? Squirting out a couple of crotch fruit and then abdicating all parental responsibility immideately after doesn’t deserve any respect in my book. If she’s the mother then she needs to start ACTING LIKE ONE.

    Normally I enjoy reading your posts, but now I’m so confused….

  46. veggi (will find and kill her troll)

    @45- loser.

  47. Nikk

    #23.

    Yeah, they’re magical. They’re one of three magical pairs she owns. They’re near indestructable, provide her with a constant stream of crack and they contain the horrible stench of her feet. And supposedly, they’re comfortable.

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