Britney Spears’ ex-assistant expresses disapproval

britney-spears-assistant.jpg

Britney Spears’ former long-time assistant of nine years, Felicia Culotta, posted an email on a fan site speaking out against Britney’s recent hijinks. She writes:

“I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding. There’s just so much you can do to help a person – I don’t dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say – You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!”

I can’t really make sense of the email but from what I can gather Britney Spears kept kicking her assistant until she got off her porch. Is that right? No wait, her assistant is sad because she loves Britney Spears like an old Dog. Wait. Okay, just wait. Fuck. She’s proposing? This is a marriage proposal.